Someday, soonday my detachment from familiarity will send me soaring, burning, melting
Painting lightscape brushstrokes on empty air-void blackness:
A fantastic farewell sky-faint; a final, fiery death-stunt
For unknown, sight-blessed audience.
Up, from sparkling sprinkle-glittered hills,
Glowing backlit forms will gasp in distant, wondered silence –
My dying skydance, reflecting glints of living fellows;
Laughing, pointing limbs following my curtain-call bow.
Frosted pine-pinnacles will point, in vain,
Where once I sat, aglow, forever and a million years
Before the laughing, lasting exhalations mouth their frozen, “Wow;”
Their million dream-thoughts floating sky-high, tailing me forever.
Wow. I read this like five times. It’s amazing. I love the structure, the mood, the idea and the content.
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Thank you, Nitin. That’s quite the compliment from a wordsmith like you.
I admit I trimmed a bit more than I initially wanted (say, a whole stanza) to fit the flash fiction requirements. (My hyphenated words are a bit iffy, still.) So, I am pleased, indeed, that the flow still came through.
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I don’t want to wait for forever and a million years so I’ll just say wow right now.
“Wow!”
It took me a couple of reads to realize that this isn’t a poem about someone dying and leaving the world, it’s, I now think, about someone finally coming alive in the world.
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Thank you. 🙂 The writing prompt was a wishing star. Odd where prompts take us, eh?
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Wow.
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Thank you.
Was that, by chance, a laughing, lasting exhalation? 🙂
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A star-fall of words, tumbling in free-verse to demonstrate the final call of a wishing star. Beautiful, Chelsea! I enjoyed your experimentation with hyphenated words. Flash fiction is a great incubator for ideas, creativity, and word-play. Thanks for showing us what it is to tail a shooting star!
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Thanks for the inspiration. 🙂
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Chelsea, I think it is the alliterative lines that most capture me in this singular poem. If I could imagine a star having a voice, I would expect it to say things like ‘final fiery’ and ‘sparkling sprinkle.’ Your hyphenated words, which you describe above as ‘iffy’ give the voice of this poem an innocent sort of charm. Glad you shared this, Zander
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Thank you for the specific feedback, Zander. I felt this to be one of my rare compositions that really flowed.
The “iffy” reference is more in terms of word count. 🙂 I love word-play.
Hence, my liking your poem as well.
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I like how you wrote two versions of this this week. It was fun to read about the same sort of event from very different writing approaches!
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Thank you. I had fun thinking about them. 🙂
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