Disappointments and, Well, Life


Life sucks.

It usually does, of course, but I’m focused on specific vacuum-like attributes this morning.

Two nights ago, I was finally enlightened as to the funeral program for my recently-deceased grandmother. I’ve been saddened about her passing, to say the least, and now feel somewhat like I’ve been punched by a random, vindictive leprechaun as I walked innocently down the street.

A certain relation of mine took over the funeral plans. I realize I’m a grandchild. Though, really, that’s only in name. A few legal and medical sources confirm I am hardly classified as a child anymore.

After typing up a rather satisfying, flaming, angry writing vomit session; I still feel upset. At least I didn’t actually publish it though, so we’re making progress.

To top the icing on the cake of the day that had already been filled with “normal” Mom Life stresses, I learned that my writing entry to a contest had not made it past the first cut.

Now, I’m never over-confident about my skills. I’m very good at self-deprecation and an extreme sort of humility and poor self-esteem and whatnot. What really got my yoga exercise pants in a twist was reading through the snippets that did make the final cut. I don’t mind losing (much), if the winners are worth losing to.

I like to think I’m collecting data on what might make my story accepted the next time I enter when I bitterly read through the competition. However, in this case I’m left scratching my head. In fact, this is the third time I’ve submitted to this blogger, so it’s more like I’m smacking my head with the keyboard.

What can I do differently? Suck more?

This is the part where we remind the audience that I’ve been trying to be a good little girl and eat healthy and exercise. So, I haven’t had fall-back options like binge-eating Valentine’s chocolate and staying up all night staring blankly at a computer screen as I type angry words about a certain in-law and a certain contest.

Chocolate was 70% off at Walgreen’s. It’s not like I overspent, at least.

6 thoughts on “Disappointments and, Well, Life

  1. mymindlessdrivel February 23, 2018 / 6:27 pm

    So sorry to hear about all the disappointments and aggravations in your life just now. Hang in there. Sending positive, happy thought-waves your way.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. kim blades, writer March 11, 2018 / 1:58 am

    Hi Chelsea. What a refreshing post to read. It is good to know that someone else is horrified to be told that there entry in a writing competition has been rejected at the first cut and that others who made the cut were really no better, if not worse. I think it may be that the judge(s) own writing leaves a lot to be desired or maybe you are not ‘liking’ and praising his/her posts often or psychophantically enough. I don’t know, but I do agree life seems to favour some over others and it often just generally sucks. Looking forward to more of your posts!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chelsea Owens March 11, 2018 / 8:57 am

      That could be. 😀 I’m happy to see you trying to think of the “why,” as I do. Hopefully, the judges don’t get to read the names.
      Every time, I think something like, “Well, maybe it wasn’t schmaltzy enough;” “Maybe I need to try ‘this’ or ‘that.'” The only logical conclusion, besides my frustrated one of “it should suck more,” is that I could try something completely unexpected and/or cultural. :/

      Liked by 1 person

  3. rachelrennieblogs March 19, 2018 / 2:47 pm

    This struck a chord with me ❤ I think for myself, everything I write is so deeply personal! It's like a little part of me comes out of my fingers and through the keyboard. Whether its a poem, a satirical piece or even a commissioned factual article! I've always thought this was odd of me, and in hindsight perhaps some of my BPD showing through? But the feeling of rejection when someone critiques something I write – it's so real! You're definitely not alone in feeling that pang when someone doesn't like what you write. Please don't change your writing for someone else, especially not a competition! Maybe try being MORE you! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chelsea Owens March 19, 2018 / 2:56 pm

      True. If I’m going to lose anyway, may as well do it myyyyyy waaaay. 😉
      And, yep -piece of soul, every time.


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