FREE Contest: The Second Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest

Welcome to the second Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest. I am your hostess, Chelsea Owens.

Please, please read my wonderful blog post, How To Write Terrible Poetry, then note the following rules:

  1. The topic is sour grapes.
  2. It’s shorter than the last contest. Keep your poem below 150 words but above 5. That means anywhere from 6-149 words.
  3. To rhyme, or not this thyme? Again, up to you.
  4. And remember: the poem needs to be terrible. I want your high school poetry club teacher to pat you on the back for how many ways you failed to write the word ‘love’ or ‘agony.’ (Please do not literally use ‘love’ and ‘agony’ 50 times, assuming it’s a requirement.)
  5. Keep it PG-Rated.

Think you can do it? You have till 8:00 a.m. MST next Friday (November 23, 2018) to submit. Write it early ’cause I don’t want to see anyone coming here instead of to their family’s house for Thanksgiving.

Post your poem or the specific link to it in the comments.


16 thoughts on “FREE Contest: The Second Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest

  1. Nitin November 17, 2018 / 12:45 pm

    No innuendo? Just ‘hardcore’ PG? The word grapes
    does rhyme with drapes, you know!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chelsea Owens November 17, 2018 / 12:46 pm

      Did I SAY it has to rhyme? You poets are going to make me say the prompt is Purple and Orange next week!! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Bladud Fleas November 17, 2018 / 1:07 pm

    Sour Grapes

    A bunch of your finest my good woman
    if you don’t mind
    O, your last lot left me little lips a bit puckered
    Nope, no probs! assuredly
    I didn’t want them anyhow.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Nitin November 17, 2018 / 1:11 pm

    Okay here’s one:
    Those grapes are sour
    I cannot reach them
    O Alas! O Alas! O Sigh!
    Death O Death grows nigh!
    And my need grows by
    the daily hour
    I said, ‘So, the curtain
    doesn’t match them drapes,’
    And for that this,
    This punishment! This poverty!
    O Star! O heavens! O clouds!
    My freedom! My liberty!
    Taken and now as I’m tied to these
    I writhe! I writhe! I writhe!
    Them who said ‘Ginger’s have no soul,’ were talking no myth!
    O Alas! O Alas! O beautiful star!

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Bladud Fleas November 17, 2018 / 1:25 pm

    Sour Grapes

    O the grape has a pip you know
    known as a seed sometimes
    and the sourest grape
    has the sourest indeed
    one that can even make a grown man’s lips bleed
    into a conveniently placed hankerchief
    if he has one
    not all men carry them these days
    the apes
    with their grapey palate
    like being stuck on the mouth with a great huge wooden mallet
    those grapes.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. Jon November 17, 2018 / 5:08 pm

    It Follows

    Sour grapes
    Bitter fruit
    Vomited heavenward
    Raining down
    Staining, rude
    Creasing frown
    Crass, crude
    Ugly festering

    Liked by 2 people

  6. babbitman November 17, 2018 / 5:54 pm


    There are green ones
    And red ones
    But sometimes they are so dark that they are pretty much
    Oh, so black.
    And dark.
    Like my heart.
    Since you’ve been gone.
    You peeled grapes for me.
    Which was jolly nice
    I really didn’t like the skins
    Used to get stuck in my teeth
    In the gaps
    And underneath
    My tongue.
    Somehow. Don’t ask me how.
    I’m not a dentist.
    And now the skins
    Are giving me grief again.
    Such grief.
    Beyond belief.
    And they’re not very sweet.
    I would have said bitter
    And thrown them in the litter
    But actually they’re probably really
    Just sour.
    Like my mood.
    Unpleasant food.
    And it’s because of you.
    That I’m sour.
    Like these grapes.
    And I hate
    So there.

    Liked by 3 people

  7. Bladud Fleas November 18, 2018 / 2:38 am

    When I’m lying in my hospital bed
    don’t bring me grapes!
    O bring me pineapples, melons and avocados instead
    and apples red (and strawberries because they’re also red)
    And lemons and bananas from the capes
    (O and I just remembered raspberries are red too)
    bring those
    But not more grapes
    Can you pull those drapes for me?
    That’s better, now I can see
    O no, are those for me?
    Come back
    another day with some other fruit
    or a carrot yeah I really don’t mind vegetables

    Liked by 3 people

  8. masercot November 18, 2018 / 7:23 am

    I lost the race
    but that’s okay because the trophy had a stupid face
    and the meager prize purse
    was even worse…

    Liked by 3 people

  9. Bruce Goodman November 18, 2018 / 4:00 pm

    Sour Grapes

    I refuse to obey rules –
    especially for bad poetry.
    Some might think it’s really cool
    to have a rule
    but personally I think it’s a load of bull

    Some might think this excellent (some might say brilliant)
    poem is revenge
    for not winning last week’s poetry-that-sux competition.
    But I refuse to obey rules
    even when I’m driving a car
    Ha ha ha

    (I would’ve put “sux” at the end of the line but couldn’t think of anything that rhymed with it).

    This could be construed as being sour grapes
    but the expression “sour grapes” is a cliché.
    But hey!
    Hang loose.
    can screw up his face just as well with lemon juice.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Chelsea Owens November 23, 2018 / 2:30 pm

      But… but, you were the reason behind this week’s prompt! 🙂

      And, you’re still too pretty of a poet. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Fractured Faith Blog November 19, 2018 / 11:51 am

    Sour Grapes
    Sour Grapes
    Oh God
    This was a mistake.
    Gag my mouth with duct tape
    But now it’s too late
    I’ve entered the contest
    My poem is a right mess.
    Sour Grapes
    Sour Grapes
    Grapes which are not sweet
    Are usually sour.

    Liked by 3 people

  11. FuriousPockets November 21, 2018 / 1:15 pm

    “Why am I not married?”
    Some complain, and in an attempt to drain the pain, they exclaim,
    “It’s caused by a culture of rapes!”
    But I know that’s just sour grapes.

    Liked by 2 people

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