Good Saturday morning, everyone. I hope your Thanksgiving went well (if you are in America) or that you at least enjoyed all the food items that were on sale.
Today I’d like to give a brief lecture about haiku. When I was in elementary school, we were told that a haiku was three lines of poetry with a distinct syllable pattern: 5-7-5. I had to laugh at Google’s definition because it listed that syllable rule as the first definition; then, for the second, ‘an English imitation of this.’
People murder haiku all the time because it is not simply a matter of syllables. It needs a feeling, ‘cutting’ (kiru), and a season reference (kigo) often pulled from a list (saijiki) as well. Heck -the syllable thing is more of a pattern of on and may even have 11 total. Thank you, Wikipedia, for setting us straight.
Given that, and the fact that people completely fail to pull these elements into haiku, this next week’s contest ought to be simplisticly easy for everyone to ‘win’ at.
If you still need some pointers on what ‘terrible’ means, read my wonderful blog post, How To Write Terrible Poetry, and dive right in:
- The topic is falling snow.
- All poems submitted need to be haiku. Let’s keep it awful and insist on 5-7-5 English syllables (yes, I really want you to follow this rule).
- Haiku traditionally does not rhyme, but you can make us all scream if you insist it does.
- And remember: the poem needs to be terrible. Japanese poet-masters who understand English ought to be rolling in their graves, digging themselves out by their fingernails, and coming to wag a zombie-like scolding finger at you in your sleep.
- Keep it PG-Rated.
Think you can do it? You have till 8:00 a.m. MST next Friday (November 30, 2018) to submit.
Post your poem or the specific link to it in the comments.
chelowens.com 
Darn – I had already written my haiku before knowing what the topic was (just to be extra terrible) and now it’s ruined. I shall have to start again. 😦
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Guess you’ll have to save this one for a different prompt. 🙂
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It’s snowing on the eucalypts aka gums
Snow is falling down
like toothpaste on a toothbrush.
Shame I have no teeth.
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https://rhscribbles.wordpress.com/2018/11/24/falling-snow-terrible-haiku/
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Thanks for entering!
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Appalling falling snowflakes
The falling snow’s a
floccinaucinihili-
pilification.
It is all fluffy;
soft as the down on a dead
duckling that’s all stiff.
We made a snowman
and used our frozen dead cat
for the snowman’s hat.
We used grandma’s skull
for our snowman’s head; the same
for Autumn’s scarecrow.
She has a skull for
all seasons, has dead granny.
(We took the brains out).
In Spring it sprouts seeds,
and in Summer we use it
for a cricket ball.
Fa la la la la
Appalling falling snowflakes
Fa la la la la.
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i found this earlier today, and just couldn’t pass this one up. Here’s my entry. I can’t wait to see what everyone comes up with.
https://violetslentz.home.blog/2018/11/24/terrible-poetry-contest/
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I’ll read it Friday. Thanks for entering! 🙂
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They Scold:
Cold are the undead
The flakey white stuff is snow
falling on zombies
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Here’s mine: https://michaelsfishbowl.com/2018/11/28/terrible-poetry/
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Thanks! I’ll read it Friday! 🙂
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why does snow always fall?
it never stumbles and rights itself
before moving on
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FALLING SNOW
Ugly miry wet
Embalming souls with icebergs
To die frozenly
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SNOWY NOSE
White stuff, look at it;
it’s all over the place but
it ain’t cocaine, mate
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