Not Your Average Blogger’s New Year’s Post

Chel Owens

Word is there’s an event what’s been going ’round. I can’t but turn a corner and I finds myself smack-dab against words like ‘resolutions’ an’ ‘goals’ an’ ‘exercise.’ I tell ya what: them’s fighting words and I’ll have no truck with ’em.

Accordingly and characteristically, I have been pondering on a different weighty subject: obscure talents.

Everyone has talents. Many have useful talents. Still more have talents that don’t come up in regular conversation because they just might get said ‘talented’ person ostracized.

Take me, for example. One of my many less-mainstream gifts is the ability to bark like a dog. Specifically, I bark similar to a German Shepherd. How do I know which canine I sound like? I learned as a child when our pet was that breed. In case you are not sure why I don’t bring this up often, just think where I would possibly apply it. …yeah… I can’t think of a place, either. Mostly I startle people my children brag to, but that’s not happening as much since my kids are getting embarrassed solely by the fact that I’m alive.

Another talent I have is possessing somewhat apelike toes on my long, narrow feet. I cannot hang by them, unfortunately, but I did practice writing with them when younger. I reasoned that the skill would come in handy when I was captured by government agents bent on imprisoning me because of my X-Men-like abilities.

The third of my most-interesting gifts is ear-wiggling. …Maybe more of ear-shifting. They move, anyway. I literally practiced in front of a mirror as a child to first achieve movement, and have since honed and isolated ear wigglingness whenever I’m bored during a conversation or business meeting.

Last for now is hiccups on-demand. A related and less-ladylike talent is erm… on-demand burping -which is another one that doesn’t come up in polite conversation. I discovered, quite early on and in church, that I could give myself the hiccups if I burped (silently) long enough. I’ve used a hiccuping spell to get out of meetings since, and …to accidentally attract my husband on our first date. The good news is that I am extremely good at ridding myself of them as well.

If ever I meet any of you in person, now, I’ll have to ask you not to mention these. Otherwise, I’ll not have any material for that two truths/one lie party game.

Enough about me anyway. What about you? Surely you have a talent of two up your sleeve? In what unusual area are you an expert?

Fork

—–

Yay! A really long week to review!
Monday, December 24: Nothing! Absolutely nothing!
Tuesday, December 25: Dude; that was Christmas.
Wednesday, December 26: “Inspirational Plagiarism: a Dialogue.” This may have come about after thinking to myself for two days.
Thursday, December 27: “I Finally Donned the Sorting Hat,” If I were a witch, apparently I’d be a know-it-all.
Friday, December 28: Inspirational quote by Mark Twain that I intentionally mis-quoted in “Inspirational Plagiarism.”
Saturday, December 29: Announced the seventh Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest. ENTER IT or I’ll only have three entries to judge from.
Sunday, December 30: “Raw Ramblings.” We’ll call it a free-verse poem.
Monday, December 31: A quote to inspire this new year thingie, by James Agate.
Tuesday, January 1: “Wilhelmina Winters, Seventy-Seven.”
Wednesday, January 2: You made it to today!

42 thoughts on “Not Your Average Blogger’s New Year’s Post”

  1. RhScribbles January 2, 2019 / 10:40 pm

    Talents… I talk and sometimes scream in my sleep. Ha ha

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chelsea Owens January 2, 2019 / 11:14 pm

      You’re right!

      …or it may get me shot.

      Like

  3. robertawrites235681907 January 2, 2019 / 11:46 pm

    I can’t think of any talents like this I have. Other than double joined elbows and knees which bend backwards.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chelsea Owens January 3, 2019 / 8:54 am

      That is one I have always envied. 🙂 Wasn’t that Houidini’s trick? No secret government agency could hold you!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. mymindlessdrivel January 2, 2019 / 11:57 pm

    I can rebloom orchids? But only in my current apartment by putting them in the window to the balcony? I’m a little afraid I’ll lose that if/when I move elsewhere. Ah well, fun while it lasted.

    Barking like a dog? Eh. No biggie. Now if you could have it actually mean something to other dogs and become their evil human overlord, then maybe you’d have something…

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chelsea Owens January 3, 2019 / 8:56 am

      Considering the blackness of my thumb, the orchid talent is enviable!

      I can only get a sort of confused, “What, what?” from canine conversation so I’ll have to work on my delivery.

      Liked by 1 person

      • TanGental January 3, 2019 / 10:15 am

        There you go. As my mother used to chastise me ‘only charlatans fish for compliments, darling’. I’m still at it despite her…

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Bladud Fleas January 3, 2019 / 2:11 am

    There was an interesting programme about the relationship between man and dogs. All domestic dogs are directly descended from wolves but, apparently, wolves don’t bark and the theory goes that dogs acquired barking in response to human voices. So, you’re kind of meeting it halfway. That’s not to say nothing is lost in translation; you might be barking something rude.

    I can wiggle the ears too, and raise one eyebrow at a time and flare the nostrils at will. I’m training to touch the tip of my nose with the tip of my tongue. My face is a circus of entertainment.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chelsea Owens January 3, 2019 / 8:59 am

      I don’t think I’m cursing or insulting; probably just asked after their aunt when I meant to mention their doggy mother…

      The facial circus sounds diverting. Two of my boys can manage their eyebrows and all can roll their tongues. I’ve only the ears, sadly.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Bladud Fleas January 3, 2019 / 9:08 am

        oh yeah, the roll the tongue thing. I do that. But can they lick their elbows?

        Liked by 1 person

  7. masercot January 3, 2019 / 5:23 am

    I hope your bite isn’t as bad as your bark…

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chelsea Owens January 3, 2019 / 9:00 am

      Since breaking my front teeth at 12 and needing replacements, my bark is much worse. :/

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Tom Darby January 3, 2019 / 6:37 am

    ‘I’ll have no truck with ’em.’ Love old-speak. Raise on a ranch, I heard this a lot as a kid. Finally, I can bray like a ‘jack-ass.’ Doesn’t help much other than to get the attention of other jack-asses.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. cricketmuse January 3, 2019 / 9:24 am

    Knowing such a talented person exists in my realm of acquaintances has brightened my day. Ear wiggling is a coveted talent.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chelsea Owens January 3, 2019 / 9:36 am

      Why, thank you. I feel it’s one that just requires an afternoon of boredom to acquire.

      And what about you, Cricketmuse?

      Liked by 1 person

      • cricketmuse January 3, 2019 / 12:04 pm

        I think you underestimate the ability. Not all of us are born wrigglers.

        Liked by 1 person

  10. sherijkennedyriverside January 3, 2019 / 12:23 pm

    I can cut things out with ridiculous precision. A result of too much time spent alone as a child – doing crafts. Comes in very handy on occasion but is not very amusing. I can also pick up things with my short but agile monkey toes. My father made us have races picking up marbles with our toes as children and taking the pile from one end of the room to the other, one by one. He said it would build our arches, but I suspect he also found it funny to watch us bound across the floor with our toes fully occupied – awkward to say the least. Agile toes come in handy when something is dropped in the shower…no bum in the air for me. Will be a huge boon for my safety, I’ve heard, if I ever land in prison.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chelsea Owens January 3, 2019 / 1:25 pm

      Hey! Give me a foot-five! I can pick things up, too, and you’ve given me a good idea of how to kill time with my kids. 😉

      I know the precise cutting is very important if you’re a neurosurgeon. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Fractured Faith Blog January 4, 2019 / 11:58 am

    I’m fairly good at stalking Game of Thrones stars around Belfast city centre. I once cornered Sansa and Arya Stark in a jewellery store and refused to let them leave until I got my photo taken with them.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chelsea Owens January 4, 2019 / 12:45 pm

      So your talent is either star-seeking or hostage-taking. Either way, fairly useful.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. MamaMickTerry January 4, 2019 / 1:50 pm

    Omg! I love your writing style and cadence. Thank you for commenting on my post – it led me here to you!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. bosssybabe April 26, 2021 / 7:38 pm

    Secret talents lol…. Trying to think 🤔🤔🤔 (5 minutes just went by😅).. I can do that weird burrito thing with my tongue but that’s not very exciting lol I have weird habits that need not be shared on this forum but talent, I guess not 😜🤪

    Interested to know how you accidentally attracted your husband from hiccuping? Lol

    Liked by 1 person

    • bosssybabe April 26, 2021 / 7:38 pm

      Oh dear i just realized this is a 2019 post lol I was intrigued lol sorry for being 2 years late LOL

      Liked by 1 person

    • Chel Owens April 26, 2021 / 7:54 pm

      See, and I *can’t* do the tongue thing!!

      Apparently, my husband thought I was really cute getting the hiccups from being nervous, and being shy about it.

      Liked by 1 person

        • Chel Owens April 26, 2021 / 11:09 pm

          In truth, I also accidentally acquire them occasionally. In the case of our first date, part of my getting them was from drinking soda pop. 🙂 *Hic!*

          Liked by 1 person

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