The Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest

Hello and welcome to our ninth week of terribly poeting.

Looking for directions? See “How To Write Terrible Poetry.”

Beside learning the awfulness that is terrible poetry construction, I feel a lesson is in order regarding limericks. A limerick follows a rhyming pattern (AABBA). It follows a specific meter; the Lords of Wikipedia say that is an anapaest meter.

Here’s an example limerick I wrote awhile back:

There once was a mother of four
Who never could sweep up her floor.
The clothes and the toys
Were stuck beneath boys.
Daddy wonders who taught them to swore.

Knowing all this, here are the rules:

  1. Topic: The Weather.
  2. For length, you gotta do a limerick. Or two. Don’t make us sit through more than that, please.
  3. The poem needs to rhyme in AABBA format, but you don’t have to use exact rhymes. Use near rhymes just to drive us up the wall if you’d like.
  4. Make it bad. Make Edward Lear appear to you in the middle of the day to criticize your format and word usage.
  5. Keep it PG-rated.

You have till 8:00 a.m. MST next Friday (January 18, 2019) to submit a poem.

Post your poem or a link to it in the comments, or fill out this somewhat nifty form.

I really do read them all, but have an occasional underage helper climbing on my lap while I’m typing. I’m going to double- and triple-check everything next week before publishing.


32 thoughts on “The Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest

  1. Terrible poem 1: Rain
    the thunderous rain comes falling down
    it hits the ground without a sound
    it splashes in puddles
    without any trouble
    and gathers in holes in the ground

    Terrible poem 2: Snow
    snow is white when it leaves the sky
    and yellow on the ground, but please don’t try
    they say not to eat
    it isn’t a treat
    but you’ll heave if I tell you why

    Terrible x2!
    Enjoy the rest of your weekend x

    Liked by 4 people

  2. I keep being late and useless so… this week I’ll just be useless.

    It’s wet
    I get
    Up if turns out nice and I have to water the garden.

    It pours
    I bores
    The in-laws
    With my moaning about having to get the hosepipe out.

    The rain
    ‘S a pain
    Yet I refrain
    From saying the bloody sunshine isn’t what I need right now.

    This drought
    Not to have caught
    Me out.
    English weather is almost as annoying as spelling.

    Liked by 4 people

  3. Whether weather wether

    A ewe asked a ram, known as “Heather”,
    Whether a wether was a misspelling of weather?
    I’ll show you one day
    Why missing more than an A
    Prevents us from getting together.

    (Note: The spell-checker not accepting “wether” is proof that no one who works at Microsoft was brought up on a farm).

    Liked by 4 people

  4. Didn’t get it up on the blog but still want to join in the fun. Here are a couple.

    Why does I freeze in Maine year round?
    Shouldn’t I be Florida bound?
    Palm trees, iced tea, flickering fleas,
    And green pies made with limes of key!
    Unless, of course, my ship runs aground.

    Snow, sleet and freezing rain,
    Pounding on my window pane,
    Do I care
    Enough to swear?
    Dreaming of a life in Brisbane.

    Liked by 2 people

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