WINNER of the Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest

Has the bleak midwinter weather got you down? Try our collection of elemental limericks!

This week’s winner was tough to forecast, but I settled on the first of two poems submitted by Molly Stevens:

Untitled piece

by Molly Stevens

Why does I freeze in Maine year round?
Shouldn’t I be Florida bound?
Palm trees, iced tea, flickering fleas,
And green pies made with limes of key!
Unless, of course, my ship runs aground.

Congratulations, Molly! You are the most terrible poet of the week!

Admittedly, Molly’s ‘B’ lines of her limerick were longer than is traditional, but I could only see how much that added to the terrible nature of her construction. I also liked her near-rhymes, her references that somewhat-related to a theme, and that she kept to a limerick format (in general).

I had so much fun reading through the other entries, even if the writers did not read all the directions. Or, to their credit, maybe they felt too shy to write a limerick. For the others, great work! So funny!

Speaking of the others, here they are in submission order:

Untitled piece

by Molly Stephens

Snow, sleet and freezing rain,
Pounding on my window pane,
Do I care
Enough to swear?
Dreaming of a life in Brisbane.

—–

Rain

by Karen

the thunderous rain comes falling down
it hits the ground without a sound
it splashes in puddles
without any trouble
and gathers in holes in the ground

—–

Snow

by Karen

snow is white when it leaves the sky
and yellow on the ground, but please don’t try
they say not to eat
it isn’t a treat
but you’ll heave if I tell you why

—–

Untitled piece

by Geoff LePard

It’s wet
Yet
I get
Het
Up if turns out nice and I have to water the garden.

It pours
Befores
I bores
The in-laws
With my moaning about having to get the hosepipe out.

The rain
‘S a pain
Yet I refrain
Again
From saying the bloody sunshine isn’t what I need right now.

This drought
Ought
Not to have caught
Me out.
English weather is almost as annoying as spelling.

—–

Whether weather wether

by Bruce Goodman

A ewe asked a ram, known as “Heather”,
Whether a wether was a misspelling of weather?
I’ll show you one day
Why missing more than an A
Prevents us from getting together.

—–

Untitled piece

by Bladud Fleas

gravity dictates
precipitates
fall
that’s all
mates

is it snowing?
I ask knowing
the white stuff
ain’t fluff
the wind’s blowing

—–

Untitled piece

by Cricket Muse

There once was a terrible storm,
That changed from cold to warm.
The snow and sun mixed
and couldn’t be fixed,
Which is why parkas and shorts were worn.

—–

Untitled piece

by RH Scribbles

in Texas you never know if
it will rain now or in a jiffy
it won’t even snow
so off to school I go, bro
the teachers will all be so beachy

Keep up the ‘good’ work, everyone! See you for next week’s contest!

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22 thoughts on “WINNER of the Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest

  1. D. Wallace Peach January 18, 2019 / 9:03 pm

    How did I miss this contest?
    Awful poems are the best
    Congrats to Molly
    Her win is jolly
    Now to bed for a rest!

    Liked by 2 people

      • D. Wallace Peach January 19, 2019 / 8:12 am

        Sigh. Next one. 🙂
        I just reblogged your story a minute ago. Read it again and so clever. I love your sense of humor.

        Liked by 1 person

      • D. Wallace Peach January 19, 2019 / 8:56 am

        Lol. My blog challenge has taken over my life, Molly. Fun as can be, but I’m still adjusting. I’ll get in on the next one. And you’re cleaning up on these. Great terrible job. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        • Molly Stevens - Shallow Reflections January 19, 2019 / 1:50 pm

          Yes, your blog challenge is a huge success as I knew it would be. You must take a break to write a bad poem! I knew I could be good at being terrible. Haha!

          Liked by 1 person

          • D. Wallace Peach January 19, 2019 / 2:35 pm

            I did as soon as I saw the post. It may not be terrible enough, but I had fun. 🙂

            Liked by 1 person

            • Chelsea Owens January 19, 2019 / 3:02 pm

              Ummm…. Diana, where is this entry? Am I totally missing it?

              Liked by 1 person

                • D. Wallace Peach January 19, 2019 / 4:01 pm

                  I just put it in comments. No problem at all. 🙂 I love your contest and didn’t want to miss it.

                  Like

  2. masercot January 19, 2019 / 1:58 am

    That was fun… no… “fun” isn’t the word… what word am I thinking of? … hmmm… oh yeah… “awful”…

    Enjoyed it.

    Liked by 3 people

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