“Romance is not being all starry eyed but an understanding that neither of us is perfect, and a willingness to put up with those imperfections.

“So here we are forty seven years later, still romantically involved, still forgiving each others faults and still trying the best we can to ensure our relationship endures.”

-Len, “Love and Marriage,” Len’s Daily Diary

16 thoughts on “

  1. Lovely, true quotes. I have been married twice. Too bad I never had a mate who understood these simple facts. The couples who have this kind of relationship are very lucky indeed. My parents did, and so I assumed that all men grew up with that kind of understanding. Not the case. Ah well, “Tis better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all.”

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      1. I THINK it is more about compromising. Learning is easy. But then, I am an educator and I am always learning and doing research. I have always been a problem solver and a compromiser. I discovered that most men of my generation, even good men who think they are liberal, still have old world views about women. They feel a need to be the “boss” or in charge. My parents knew that each one had value and they learned to trust the other’s strengths. My mother was better at doing the books and so she did etc. Some men like to feel they are in control of everything. I think that was the problem coming from a changing time and getting married in 1969. The world was changing but we were still somewhat stuck in old world attitudes. Much like politics. Many men my age still have a problem with a woman President. My younger son takes it for granted that women and men are equal. My older son does too but still likes to feel as if he is the one responsible for his family. It is a noble thing, however I think rather outdated. He puts way too much pressure on himself by having his wife stay home. I keep out of it but I think that stems from this out dated view of the sexes.

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        1. I mention learning because you say your husbands were never taught that. I have so many bad habits that are not conducive to resolution, for example.
          I’m hoping I can learn and keep getting better. :/

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          1. I’m sure you will. People have to want to learn and change, or learn to compromise in order to make a relationship work. In my case, I got tired of always being the one to do that. Just be sure that what you perceive as bad habits are really that. Or is that just the perception of your mate or of others? Creative souls are often told they have bad habits when it’s not so. As a teacher of gifted students who were told over and over that their talents were wrong, their inability to stop seeking answers was wrong, I let them know they had to find their own voice through writing and let their creativity out. We ALL have flaws and bad habits. Accepting that, is part of learning to live with another. You should not have to give up who you are. A marriage should be equal. Not one fighting to be more dominant over the other or blaming the other. Learning to accept each other is key. If one person can’t then that’s not a relationship in my opinion. I’m not saying that’s how your life is, mind you. Im relating it to my own life. I’m a strong independent woman. Men are very attracted to that in me, even at my current age, but it seems that most don’t like that in a partner. Only a very self assured man can handle a strong self assured woman like that. I’m sure there are men out there up to the task. I just didn’t marry them. Lol

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    1. Thanks! I agree with that as well. Some couples’ dynamics leave me scratching my head, but they make it work.

      …then again, most of those are now divorced. 🙂


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