The Cure for Depression: Get a Paid Friend

Sup, yo? I’m here to talk about my second suggestion from The Cure for Depression: the most amazing elixir to not actually exist and is therefore really a list of 14ish items that seriously help.

I need to work on my advertising taglines. Let’s try again:

Are you suffering from Depression? Do you think you might be? If yes or no; you’re reading this article, so there’s a good chance you don’t want to stay down in your hole.

You could use professional help.

“But… but, I don’t know who to talk to!”
I don’t either. I’m not you, sitting on your floor, living in your town, with or without your health benefits. That’s Google’s responsibility. -Google, or your old enemy Facebook.
Open up ye olde FB, and type something like “Hey guys, do you know a good counselor? Asking for a friend.” You’re not really lying because you should be your own best friend, right?
If that’s too intense, text a close friend. I literally did this to my neighbor, out of the blue, and got one of the best therapists I’ve ever been to (and, believe me, I’ve been to two in my life).

I have no way to pay for services.”
-I don’t, either. I’m a moocher off my husband. It’s not even covered by our health insurance, so there goes this year’s family trip and a few months of groceries. As he says, “It’s cheaper than divorce.” He’s sweet like that.
Do not get me started, rambling, and still cursing about health insurance. Even in America where I live, it has issues. I do happen to know that options exist out there. Use your friend, the internet, to look into what you can get.
If you’re religious, many ecclesiastical leaders are willing to help with what they can.
If you have parents, try asking them. Maybe they can at least let you live downstairs for another decade while you get to a better place.
If you have a rich great aunt, hope that she knocks off sooner than later. Okay; just kidding about that one.

“What if the person I get sucks?”
-Find a new person. It’s your hard-earned money (or, your great aunt’s). If you’re stuck picking from a certain office or a specific list, try asking the nurses who they think is good for what you’re experiencing.

“I can’t open up to a therapist or counselor. What if s/he judges me?”
-I may have this exact problem. Still. I am the slowest person ever, I’m sure; because I finally start opening up at the END of the session. Sometimes, I close off at the end. I’m a mixed bag of self-protective measures, really.
I keep going back to my paid friend because THIS IS HER JOB. She is supposed to “judge me,” because she’s trying to help me. She’s super nice so would probably want to help anyway, but she is also there because I’m paying her.

“Insert your excuse here.”
-Nope, not going to buy it. Do what I said. Try, try again.

Think of it this way: A counselor, therapist, or psychologist is like a tightrope instructor. Instead of tightrope walking the way you have for (possibly) YEARS now, why not pay a person who knows? After a few sessions, you may think, So I wasn’t supposed to be doing it UPSIDE-DOWN this whole time! Who knew?!

You’ve tried it your way. A paid friend can show you a better way.

In terms of a more advanced paid friend, aka a psychiatrist, I’m afraid I have no experience in this regard. I’ll do some more research, and get back with you next week.

Go get a counselor if you don’t have one. A good one is worth it because YOU ARE worth it.


Photo Credits
Casey Horner


*Chelsea Owens is not a licensed anything, except a Class D driver in her home state, and shares all information and advice from personal experience and research.

14 thoughts on “The Cure for Depression: Get a Paid Friend

  1. Huh, interesting take on ‘pay someone to be your friend.’ I always thought of a therapist as someone who taught me mindfulness methods, psychological information, and other stuff, but maybe it’s because I jived really well with that therapist. I was that kid who’d ask for ‘homework,’ haha.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. All Great points that you addressed.. Friends are very helpful and also if you have children you can speak to the school guidance counselor who will have a list of therapists in the area who deal with families. Individual and family therapy.

    But, what I also discovered is that your insurance provider can be extremely helpful too. AND you can be VERY specific in asking for what you want. When I went through my divorce I called my insurance and asked specifically for a woman, one preferably over 45 (with life experience), and told them the specific areas I needed to drive to. At the time I was teaching I wanted to go after work and therefore didn’t want to drive that far. I also said I wanted someone trained in dealing with divorce. (Yes, you can ask for their areas of expertise,) They gave me a choice of three women in my area. The first one I didn’t like at all after one visit. She wasn’t warm. The second one was terrific.. When my mom died I didn’t care if I spoke to a grief counselor who was male or female. It was a man and he was sympathetic and very kind. But going through a divorce, I needed a woman about my age to talk to. I probably would have thrown something at a man if he agreed with my ex husband about anything. Lol. 😖 Also many therapists accept Medicare so seniors can go for free. A good deal!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks! My husband’s work has two people they can go to for ‘free’ for a certain number of visits. After that, our insurance has a really high deductible and only a handful of local counselors that are good.


  3. Have you thought of support groups? I joined a group for women over 50 who suffered with depression and anxiety. The group had to disband but four of us are now getting together because we know we can talk to each other and support each other.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I hope you find something that helps. For us it hasn’t really worked. I have followed our son in retreating to behind our garden fence. Trying to find help from blogging or just trying to work it out for ourselves. Not sure if there is a right answer. Take care.

    Liked by 1 person

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