Costco, My Love

Chel Owens

In celebration of an upcoming commercial holiday and to help inspire others to enter The Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest, I will write a love poem every day this week.

Never able to be serious, this poem is dedicated to the megalith that is Costco:

Whenever I run out of bread,
Or cheese, or eggs, or e’en a bed;
Or when it’s time I must acquire
A brand new set (or two) of tires;
Or, hanging there, a frozen goat;
A lamb, a fridge, some pants, a coat;
There’s only one place I may go
Where membership card I must show
And cheese and choc’late samples flow
And impulse buys include cargo:
My own, enormous love, Costco.

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12 thoughts on “Costco, My Love”

    • Chelsea Owens February 15, 2019 / 9:39 am

      They pretty much own my soul, but I’m completely okay with that. They’d probably pack it nicely and ensure it’s better quality than I would.

      Liked by 1 person

      • H.R.R. Gorman February 15, 2019 / 9:54 am

        I may be completely wrong, but as far as I’m aware, Costco brand olive oil is one of the few real olive oils available that aren’t also owned by the mafia. Then again, that sounds like a conspiracy, so… ???

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Peregrine Arc February 15, 2019 / 7:48 pm

    Even before I was vegan, these lamb carcasses bothered me. It’s like “Hey, honey! They’re hiding the bodies in plain sight!” Oi.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chelsea Owens February 15, 2019 / 9:11 pm

      It’s a good thing I didn’t post my picture of the ‘goat in six parts.’ Ugh. I always wonder who buys them.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Peregrine Arc February 16, 2019 / 6:49 am

        That sounds like the start to an old nursery rhyme haha (a goat in six parts).

        Liked by 1 person

        • Chelsea Owens February 16, 2019 / 7:45 am

          Hey, you’re right! Maybe it could be A Butcher’s Nursery Rhyme.

          Liked by 1 person

          • Peregrine Arc February 16, 2019 / 8:37 am

            Like most nursery rhymes seem to be influenced by lol. Rock a bye baby for instance .Hello children services.

            Liked by 1 person

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