The Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest

Welcome to The Terrible Poetry Contest, a family tradition since about thirteen weeks ago.

Writing poetry is a daunting idea. We get in the mood, think of a lyrical phrase, and then run up against a metaphorical wall mid-stanza. While I have written a how-to on composing poetry legitimately, that’s not what this contest is about.


The Terrible Poetry Contest is a chance for writers of all shapes, sizes, and ability levels to make a rude literary gesture to all that is good and decent about proper writing and contests. It’s a chance to do everything your poetry teacher told you not to. It’s a chance to shine when other contest-hosters left you alone in the dark.

If this is your first time, review my how-to on terribleness so you know what to expect. Then, read the following rules and please, please, please share something truly terrible:

  1. Topic: Motivating Lazy People
  2. Keep the length between 5 and 150 words.
  3. Rhyme if you want to; don’t if you don’t feel like it.
  4. Just keep things terrible. Make your listeners finally get off their lazy backsides just to do anything besides sit through another stanza.
  5. Keep your poem PG at most.

You have till 8:00 a.m. MST next Friday (February 22, 2019) to submit a poem.

Post your poem in the submission form below, or include or link to it in the comments much farther below.



Photo credit:
Ken Treloar
Tom Morel

13 thoughts on “The Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest

  1. Lazy Cyril

    Now Cyril, you should be studying for your exams
    and not sit around eating yams.
    It’s driving me crazy that you are so lazy;
    why can’t you be more like your sister, Maisie?
    When you grow up and get married, I bet
    you’ll get you wife to light your cigarette.
    I shouldn’t have to articulate
    that you need to motivate.
    Get inspired by your sister rather
    than obviously taking after your father
    who is the laziest son-of-a-B
    that nature ever could concei-
    -ve. Frankly I’m at the end of my tether,
    and you think that sitting around doing nothing makes you clever.
    Maisie is an inspiration to us all,
    and she’s already, at her young age, starting to be able to crawl.
    And Auntie Doris, who frequently gets constipation,
    should be another source of inspiration.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Sorry – the submission form didn’t show on my devise until now so I posted it in the wrong place. My apologies…
    I do prefer the interactive method throughout the week, so probably won’t be overly interested in taking part as often as I have! There’s no camaraderie!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Zzzz

    One more minute, I snore
    One more minute soon turns into four.
    Six am workouts sound so good on paper, when imaginary me’s do all the work.
    Can’t I clone myself or snooze my way to fitness? I squirm and think.

    Out I put my foot, my toe wiggles ’round.
    It’s my radar scanner to see if all’s safe and sound.
    It touches the floor, the rest of me still covered up in bed.
    Brr, ’tis cold, brr shivers and shakes alive!
    Back into bed, abandon ship and this dread!

    Isn’t there a clause in the Constitution,
    against cruel and unusual punishment such as these coming to fruition?

    It’s for my health, it’s for my well being
    I’ll get up in second, and do some….more…pleading.

    Liked by 1 person

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