THE Battle of the Sexes

Chel Owens

That’s it. I’m throwing the gauntlet DOWN.

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I want to determine, once and for all, who has it harder: men or women.

Let’s take men first. For this purpose, I have brought in my masculine side. It’s just survived a long weekend with all four boys home from school for a holiday, worked outside in the yard, and done some manly exercises like …girl push-ups.

I say that men have the short end of the stick. Why?

  1. Men are expected to work for their entire lives. Even in a ‘woke’ society of both sexes working, or just the woman heading out in a business suit, a man is not considered a whole man unless he pulls his own weight.
  2. The male species cannot feel anything like sadness, vulnerability, or silly joy. Those are weak emotions, symptoms of an insecure or incompetent man.
  3. They have to deal with, date, and understand women (assuming, for this argument, they bend that way). And not offend any of them. And still be manly.
  4. Men must initiate relationships. They must often pay for a date. They must read what a woman (for sake of this argument) wants without asking blunt questions (see #3) and without getting accused of harassment and rape later.
  5. When a man gets sick, he gets mocked. Who cares if he literally feels at death’s door? Let’s kick his pride while it’s convalescing.
  6. Males are often stinkier. Practically everything sweats, and in large amounts. Thank goodness for deodorant, aftershave and cologne. And windows.
  7. Men are expected to be good at most things, especially where fixing stuff or sports are concerned. They are also supposed to only be interested in those topics. As before, lack in these areas is a sign of weakness.
  8. Similarly, a man must be strong. He needs to look fit and be ready to move a couch or a car with his bare hands.
  9. If a woman feels like it, she may pick on a man. She may slap him, belittle him, and accuse him. He may be strong, but man is not allowed to hit back.
  10. Even though men spend hardly any time at home (see #1) and are not supposed to get involved in decorating the house (see #7), they must figure out where their tools have been moved to and why a couch (complete with an obscene number of throw pillows) is now where their favorite recliner was.

Women think their life is difficult, but it’s a bed of roses (that match in color, and were complimented on by their hordes of friends) compared to a man’s.

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Now, in order to prepare an adequate female defense, I must think more girly. Allow me a few hours on Pinterest ….or not. I’m not the most feminine representative of the female sex, but I’ll try my best.

Women have a harder life, hands-down.

  1. Periods. Since many men do not understand this sensation: picture a sharp knife inside your lower abdomen that scrapes at your organs. Once a month-ish. Not only that, but you must endure odd hormonal effects like loss of mental capacity and car keys just before the fun starts; plus, blood.
    If all of that weren’t enough, people snidely tell you that you’re grumpy because of PMS or that you ought to just “deal with it” when crumpled over a toilet.
  2. Childbirth. It’s not much of a break from the alternative; especially since menstruation and pregnancy share symptoms like pain, forgetfulness, and grumpiness. Being pregnant is just weird, and delivery is the worst pain many have ever been in. Ever.
  3. Menopause. Imagine a relief from the #1 issue, that was designed by a drunk engineer who didn’t care how (or if) the machine functioned after it ran the full program.
  4. If the first three points didn’t win this debate for women, the judges have obviously been bribed. The women recommend that each judge pass a kidney stone before being allowed to vote. -Which leads to a real #4: more health issues because of female organs. One doctor visit for one symptom leads to an overall diagnosis of “because of womanhood.”
  5. Shopping for women’s clothing is enough headache and cost that they just might need a government-sponsored representative. Seriously. Men get measurements for everything and one name for each color. Women get inaccurate numbers by 2’s and colors like “blue with gray in it” or “gold that may be black.”
  6. In a traditional home; a woman needs to stay home, take care of the home, raise her children to not be psychopaths, and feel fulfilled doing so.
    In non-traditional homes; women need to do all of the above, plus work a job and arrange for childcare …and keep themselves sexy but not too sexy that they’re attracting coworkers.
  7. Females need to look good. If they buy into the ‘inner beauty’ and ‘be yourself’ crap, they have few dates and few friends. If they, instead; nip, tuck, makeup, inject, smile, style, and flaunt; they get a lot of positive attention.
  8. A woman is a b*tch if she’s pushy. She’s unfeminine if she (necessarily) picks up any ‘masculine’ slack. Her opinions are emotional ones, and therefore not as valid or as sound as a man’s.
  9. When a woman takes a younger man, she’s a cougar. If she sleeps around she is a slut. If she dresses attractively and flirts then she is “asking for it.”
  10. Women are expected to arrange everything around the house to buy some social cred, make friends (to admire the house), and plan fun family or couples outings. They are also expected to not overspend their budget doing this.

Men get ‘that look’ when they come home to a house full of pillows, but say they don’t want to go furniture shopping. They say they have simple needs, then demand that women look good and feel sexy after doing all the laundry. Face it: men hold the power and prestige, and women hold the garbage bag.

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In developed countries, the battlefield of the sexes is nearly even. In terms of permanent penalties, however, I feel that women will always have it worse. I’m not looking for compensation (though, some sort of temporary transferal of woman parts might be nice); I’m looking for agreement.

Do you agree? Do you not? Let’s hear your reasons. Don’t be shy; I’m a fair moderator.

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While you gather your thoughts and rebuttals, look at what I posted this past week:
Wednesday, March 13: Talked about Dr. Pickell and our ignorant influences in “Do You Know Your Influences?”

Thursday, March 14: “The Cure for Depression: Eat Healthy,” another suggestion in a series originally posted over at The Bipolar Writer Mental Health Blog.

Friday, March 15: Versed “Prometheus,” in response to Frank Prem‘s poem.

Saturday, March 16: Winner of the Weekly Terribly Poetry Contest. Congratulations to Bruce Almighty Goodman!
Announced the Xth Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest. The theme is verbosity. I haven’t had a lot of entrants, so PLEASE ENTER!

Sunday, March 17: “Crescent Illusions,” a sci-fi response to D. Wallace Peach’s popular prompt.

Monday, March 18: “Wilhelmina Winters, Eighty-Six.”

Tuesday, March 19:  An inspirational quote by Trent Shelton.

Wednesday, March 20: Today.

I also posted all this week at my motherhood site. I wrote “Why Oh Why Must We Have The Teenage Years?,” “The Magic Clothes Washing Machine,” and “Five More Minutes” (a poem).

 

Photo Credit:
Image by VIVIANE MONCONDUIT from Pixabay
Image by Josethestoryteller from Pixabay
Image by Ryan McGuire from Pixabay

49 thoughts on “THE Battle of the Sexes”

    1. I appreciate your saying that. I don’t think I’ve ever felt repressed or abused (except by my role as SAHM, I suppose), yet hear a lot from other women to the contrary.

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  2. It’s an interesting question and one we need to define what we “should have” compared to what we don’t. Or are they needs?

    I think we need to let people be people and accept personality differences. I’ve always felt an abrasive reaction to too tight of gender roles or on the other side of the spectrum, people expecting women to be men and vice versa.

    But overall I feel women have it harder and always have. There’s a scene in Sense and Sensibility where a woman and a man are commiserating over their lot in life. The man’s parents want him to do a certain career and go far in life. The woman replies something like “At least you can make your fortune. We have to hope to marry ours.” And there, I think, you have it. Economic disability, lack of independence and reliance on men. Creates a perfect storm of abuse of power.

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    1. I like that scene as well.

      Personally, I’m a misfit. My husband claims most people follow close enough to stereotypes for the stereotypes to exist fairly accurately; maybe he’s right.

      I don’t resent roles and expectations, per se. I do dislike assumptions and misunderstandings regarding my intentions and desires…

      Yes, people ought to be feel comfortable being themselves. Yes, we need some standards and expectations in order to have the most functional society.

      I sure take the middle road a lot…

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            1. I’ve been asked that about three times now in the last three months by other bloggers. 😀 My main problem is that my middle three are very close…
              After being asked the first time by my friend, Bev, I did a quick internet test and got ISFJ-T. The S is a 51%, F is 58% and J 58%.

              A more in-depth one I did in college had even closer percentages on the middle two but not such a close range for that J/P result.

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  4. I have strong opinions on the subject, but will currently refrain because then it will be obvious which sex/gender I am (and one goal of my blog life is to watch which way people guess).

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  7. Evolutionary-speaking, with natural selection etc. over millions of years males have been designed by females , and, conversely, females have been designed by males. I would claim that women are far far superior today because men are infinitely better at creative design…

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  8. I think biology makes a major difference, as you have pointed out. I’m glad I’m a man and don’t have to go through the fertility cycles.

    My wife cleans the main floor of the house, I clean the basement and upstairs. We live in a bungalow and she only keeps to the main floor. We share the cooking. She does the laundry. I shovel snow. I dig the holes in the garden she plants the flowers. She stayed home with our two children. They were my responsibility when I arrived home from work. As a family unit it’s team work. On a larger social scale……we’ll that’s a longer story.

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    1. My husband has suggested that he and I need separate tasks. I tell him that I want him working WITH me on things -but I think the main problem is that he is not home every evening. There are many times that I have to do everything myself around the house.

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  9. I think it evens out all in all. A short woman is petite. A short man—well. Thin hair on a guy or balding? Not everyone can pull s Bruce Willis or a Patrick Stewart. Ten years ago it would have been more of an argument. These days, it’s six o one and half dozen of another.

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    1. I wonder about that, too, C’Muse. I didn’t even go into the wage gap, for example, which I think is about even (but know many who would argue me to death about that one). Times are a lot better than they were, for sure.

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  13. It depends on where you rank among members of your own sex.

    Women rate 80% of men as below average. Since the breakdown of the family in the 1960s, and the new normal or promiscuous casual sex, this means that being one of those top 20% of men is very good living. Being in the bottom 80% means you’re likely to live a life of being lonely and unsatisfied.

    This is why you get so many more men getting addicted to hard drugs, committing suicide, and going on shooting rampages.

    Most women, on the other hand, can marry and find companionship if they desire it. Even when a country is invaded, the women and children are usually spared. They can also have a career or whatever if they want that instead.

    So, I would say that if you’re middling or below average, you have it better as a woman. I’d you’re in the top 20% for your sex, you have it better as a man.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. I agree, men hold the power which is kind of unfortunate. Not only for men but for the world. The new drug approved for post-partum depression and the cost is $20,000 to $35,000? Seriously? And maybe not covered by insurance?? I think Viagra, before it was available as a generic, cost something like $25 or $30 a pill. Anyway, I won’t ramble 🙂 But #’s 2 & 7 on the man scale, I fail both of those but I’m not going to let that impact my feelings of manliness.

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  16. I have merely witnessed childbirth and (an accompanying episiotomy) from within the same room. I am not therefore disposed to claim any kind of superiority, nor do I harbor a grudge over the proper cussin’ I received for my earlier contribution to the events of that day.

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