Good day, fellow poets. May I be the first to welcome you to The Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest? You, sir or madam or sidam, are attendant to the 21st iteration of this most-anticipated event.
Now! Sit back, relax, and don those thinking caps. We also advise those participating to drop a few, stingy rules at the door. Yes, you may leave your senses of meter and form there as well. If necessary, here is a general guideline to which you may reference.
Ready? Excellent! The following are the rules for this week:
- The Topic is Making Sport of Classic Poetry. You, like many, have heard of creatures stirring, woods with diverging paths, gentle nights, and captains (O, Captains!). Well –nevermore!
- Pick a popular poem, and have at it! We’re talking parody, satire, and silliness. Go where your nausea of repetition leads you.
- As a final note, the judge and readers will follow your ramblings with slightly more understanding if you note which work you choose.
- The Length will depend on the poem you mock. If you choose Beowulf, however, please keep it to the first page.
Also, please limit your number of submissions to three. Those of you who are really good at this game are making the rest of us look bad.
- If the one you mock rhymes, you Rhyme. Or, not. You’d be surprised how casual the judge is.
- Moste importantely, make it terrible. The poem’s original author must feel compelled –no- SUMMONED by the chantings of those who read your parody aloud to drag themselves from the grave (or desk, if still alive) to seek you out and haunt you every Sunday afternoon before supper.
- Keep things PG-13 or nicer. Sometimes my kids read over my shoulder.
You have till 8:00 a.m. MST next Friday (April 12) to submit a poem.
If you are shy, use the form. Leave me a comment saying that you did as well, just to be certain. I will be able to tell you whether I received it.
For a more social experience, include your poem or a link to it in the comments.