The Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest

WELCOME to The Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest, Week 22.

Please remove all dignified, appropriate rules about poetry and drop them behind a dumpster somewhere, read how to terribly poem, and look at the specifics below:

  1. This week, we are going to make an acrostic poem. The Topic of said poem is a person you detest.
    If his name were Bob, your poem might read:
    lessed waste of
    O rgans is
  2. For Length, your masterpiece must be no longer than the person’s name.
    Also, keep the number of people you hate and therefore wish to honor with a poetic address to three.
  3. Rhyme if you wish; don’t if you’d rather not.
  4. As always, make it terrible. The person you hate must sense, by aura of recitation alone, your loathing and aversion. He (or she) must follow the scent of vitriol to your computer and vow revenge upon your children’s children.
  5. Keep things PG-13 or nicer, if you please.

My children have Spring Break next week, which means I do not. Therefore, the deadline for this ‘weekly’ contest will be in two weeks. You have till 8:00 a.m. MST Friday (April 26) to submit a poem.

If you are shy, use the form. Leave me a comment saying that you did as well, just to be certain. I will be able to tell you whether I received it.

For a more social experience, include your poem or a link to it in the comments.

Have fun!



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35 thoughts on “The Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest

  1. Peregrine Arc April 13, 2019 / 3:48 pm


    Very tyrannical are you, bald headed twit
    Oh, look at your Death Eaters running away again, you idiot
    Lost is Nagini, curled around your toes
    Dementors would have nothing to suck out of your remaining soul.
    Everyone knows you were a spoiled brat
    Many a time you could have turned back.
    Or did you not care?
    Really, I don’t think you ever loved another in your life
    Twould have been just another game for you to ruin and set fire to with strife.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Bruce Goodman April 14, 2019 / 6:03 pm

    Acrostic to an unnamed personage

    I don’t really detest anyone much.
    Look, I’m not happy with the unfashionable woollen fabric
    Like what some people wear;
    About as frumpy as possible I reckon.
    Really, I guess that means a detestation,
    You know, of some sort.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Violet Lentz April 17, 2019 / 8:33 am

    Oh, boy. I don’t have a shit list. I just cut people off like a red headed step child and move on… But I won’t let you down Chels, I’ll find fault with someone…

    Liked by 2 people

  4. cynicalwordsmith April 18, 2019 / 3:21 am

    Does she have to scream at every meeting?
    I can’t handle it
    Am I allowed to punch her?
    No but I can get up and walk out

    -Jo Logan, my coworker

    Liked by 2 people

    • Chelsea Owens April 26, 2019 / 10:15 pm

      🙂 Your last line nearly won it. Thanks for playing along!


  5. Violet Lentz April 18, 2019 / 6:11 am

    Ugh!! This was a tough one.. But It just might be terrible enough to qualify….

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chelsea Owens April 18, 2019 / 6:28 am

      From the great Violet L? Nothing is too difficult!


  6. bereavedandbeingasingleparent May 20, 2019 / 4:52 pm

    I will probably make a complete mess of this but you know what I might have a bash at this one. Are any words banned. For example if let’s say the person in mind has 2 T’s in his name could I use – Twat and Tosser.

    Liked by 1 person

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