The Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest

Chel Owens

Hello and welcome to the 24th Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest!

This isn’t your English professor’s maternal aunt’s poetry manual’s contest. This is the place for dropped shoes, feet on tables, and hair being let down. Read my how-to about terrible poetry for a bit more direction, then read the specifics below:

  1. Topic: Superheroes
  2. Length: Let’s go back to somewhere between 4 and 150 words.
  3. Rhyme? If you want to, sure. If not, who’s picky?
  4. MAKE IT BAD. I want Doctor Strange to appear and open a time hole specifically for dropping Thanos, Hela, Killmonger, and Loki on your head in a desperate effort to stop more poems from coming.
  5. Rating: PG-13 or cleaner, like a superhero movie.

You have till 8:00 a.m. MST next Friday (May 10) to submit a poem.

If you are shy, use the form. Leave me a comment saying that you did as well, just to be certain.

For a more social experience, include your poem or a link to it in the comments.

Have fun!

 

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Photo credit:
Photo by Porapak Apichodilok from Pexels

34 thoughts on “The Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest”

  1. How doth a superhero

    How doth a superhero
    squeeze into body-hugging spandex all those magnificent body parts?
    And what happens if he or she farts?
    Does it blow up like a balloon
    so that everyone knows you’ve been eating prunes?

    I could never be a superhero;
    not because I don’t have the body or audacity
    but because of my incapacity
    to squeeze everything into that lycra.
    Although I just might. Ya
    know I couldn’t stand having everyone gawk at bits of my anatomy
    even though body-hugging polymer polyurethane would flatter me.

    And yet, my dove,
    such is my love
    that I would save you even without the suit.
    Ain’t that beaut?
    Spandex would be a sin
    if I could rescue you wearing just my own skin.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Dun dun dun dun DUNH DE DUNH

    Oh, look. A spider.
    Oh, look. A hammer.
    Oh, look. A Russian spy.
    Oh, look. A witch with red eyes.
    He hee. Ho hum.
    Quiet, Loki.

    Are we all here? Can the camera fit them all?
    Nay, pan out, camera man.
    Let’s get all the ladies in this shot.
    Don’t forget the tree. Almost did, didn’t we?
    Tee hee.

    There are more salaries in here than one can fathom.
    Even for those who get twenty second clips at random.
    And less words than Stan Lee,
    who let us imagine and see.

    Hee hee, ho la.
    Pray tell, where’s my hammah?

    *Lightning crash*
    *Fade out into random poses with strong jaw lines*

    Liked by 2 people

  4. OK, I had to jump in on this one 🙂

    Superheroes by the Score

    There is the Universe by DC
    There is one for Marvel
    And then, there is Reality

    The superheroes in our Universe
    The ones every day
    Though not quite as rare, are oh so much worse

    There is Man of Bog
    Killing people with the stench
    Of his great fart formed fog

    Library Lady is a great in anyone’s book
    Her super power is to stop all conversation
    With just one sharp look

    Political Man will give you pause
    With his power to twist illogic
    To promote his unworthy cause

    Diet Woman can in a single bound
    Defy all physics that can be found
    Turning an ounce of salad into fat by the pound

    There are so many more out there
    Superheroes by the score
    But I no longer care
    So will tell you no more

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, I’ve come across some pretty heavy superpowers in my day 😉 Of course Library Lady is by far the most powerful of the bunch…. I mean, just being in a library gives people superpowers.

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Read to the tune of the theme song from Barney. Yes, the big purple dinosaur Barney.

    I love Batman, you love Robin

    We’re gonna fight, just wait and see

    With a BAM! And a SWOOSH!

    Like Cat Woman with her claws

    And a Wonder Woman whooping, just because

    Liked by 1 person

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