The Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest

Welcome to The 28th Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest.

Buckle your safety belts, keep your arms and legs inside, and review the manual if you’re worried about how to operate a terrible poem. We encourage mis-meter, almost-rhymes, and intentional clichés on this rocket ship.

Here are the specifics for this week:

  1. Topic: The excitement of summer vacation (or winter, if you’re down South).
  2. Length: Postcard-sized. If you write rather small, you can fit more in your poem.
  3. Rhyme if you wish; grandma probably won’t be able to read your handwriting anyway.
  4. Make it terrible. Not only will granny not know if you crossed your t’s but might also misconstrue a few of your words for some she thought she heard her favorite news anchor warn about the young’uns using these days.
  5. Rating: PG or more decent. We’re having good, clean fun this summer.

You have till 8:00 a.m. MST next Friday (June 7) to submit a poem.

Use the form if’n you don’t want yours up till next week.

For immediate fame and gratification from your peers, include your poem or a link to it in the comments below.

Tell your friends, your TwoFacebook crowd, your Tweeters; whatever. Spread the word and share the love.

Most of all, have fun!


Photo credit:
Vicko Mozara

23 thoughts on “The Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest

  1. The perils of camping

    We’re leaving town to go on summer vacation.
    The traffic heading out is like a conflagration.
    We’ve got the three kids in the back of the car.
    We’re going to a lonely camping spot with no shops other than very far.

    Arrive we have! now to erect the tents;
    One for the kids and one, you know what is meant,
    for me and the Missus.
    Already she’s flooded me with kisses.

    Well here we are getting down to business.
    The kids are all fed and have washed up their dishes.
    Oh oh… oh Honey, we’re safe in our tents
    but I forgot to bring the condiments.

    Chorus: Heigh ho! Heigh ho! Is it off back home we go
    because Daddy forgot to bring his condiments?
    Who wants stuff heated up around the camp fire
    when eating a sausage without condiments is dire?
    Heigh ho! Heigh ho! Is it off back home we go
    because Daddy forgot to bring his condiments?

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Don’t worry, read the entire thing. It is PG. Really. I swear (well, I don’t cuss!), it is teen safe.. 😉

    Time for the two of us
    To be where we’re not
    For privacy take long
    We’ll get all sweaty
    And deliciously hot
    While engaging in rigorous

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Oi’, Summah!

    Lemunade and sugahs
    Butterflies and sands
    My dear, look at my toes
    They’ve been completely eaten by crabs.

    Oi, get yer feet off my beach blanket
    Tide, do yer worst
    For I’m a sun crisped lobster
    A blue eyed, Caucasian curse.

    Tantamount to the joyous degrees and aspects of the tiny filigreed hairs of a baby tarantula from Spain.
    But never, ever with a yellow umbrella on Tuesday, for shame.

    Is how much I enjoy my summer rain.

    Drip. Drip. Drip…

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Mine:

    I Really Wish You Were Here, Instead Of Me

    Here I am just soaking in the brine

    I really wish I was having a good time

    It would be really nice if someone else was here

    If only I had won a totally different tier

    I am at this wonderful summer resort

    All because one day I bought a torte

    The prize was a holiday in the midst of winter

    All I’m hoping is this isn’t going to make me bitter

    I better go as I’m running out of space

    I long to soon be back in an aeroplane’s carapace

    By the time I get home I’ll be full of joy

    but for now I should let go of this freezing buoy

    Joanne Fisher

    Liked by 1 person

Comments are closed.