The Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest

Chel Owens

Play the fanfare, crack out the snacks, and do your favorite dance! It’s time for the THIRTIETH Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest!!

Thank you to so many who’ve been here for all or most of those weeks and to the many other willing participants who’ve joined since! If you are a newbie, I recommend reading my brief how-to about terrible poetry. After that, I recommend writing an entry after a really late night or three, and a severe headache.

Here are the specifics for this week:

  1. The Topic is a repeated number. Pick a number, any number, and use it a lot throughout your poem.
    Besides children singing pop songs, I loathe when I have to sit through everyone using the same prompt word for 500 entries. So, irritate me.
  2. Keep the Length shorter than 150 words, so I don’t jump out any windows.
  3. Please Rhyme in terribly, horribly, no-good, very bad ways.
  4. If you can’t tell already, make it terrible. I want crazy people to look at you in fear and for the survivors of Lost to beg you not to repeat that same number again…
  5. Keep things PG or cleaner; there’s no need for crude numerals.

You have till 8:00 a.m. MST next Friday (June 21) to submit a poem.

Use the form below if you want to be anonymous for a week.

For a more social experience, include your poem or a link to it in the comments.

Have fun!!!

 

johannes-w-249542-unsplash

Photo credit:
Johannes W

30 thoughts on “The Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest”

  1. This is the thirtieth time I’mma say this,
    yeah the thirtieth, so you listenin,
    I met her in the thirtieth street
    next to the thirtieth store on
    the thirtieth year of my life,
    so listen yo, this is the thirtieth time I’mma say this
    yeah the thirtieth, so you listenin,
    I met her in the thirtieth street
    next to the thirtieth store on
    the thirtieth year of my life,
    so listen yo, this is the thirtieth time I’mma say this
    yeah the thirtieth, so you listenin,
    I met her in the thirtieth street
    next to the thirtieth store on
    the thirtieth year of my life,
    so listen yo, this is the thirtieth time I’mma say this
    yeah the thirtieth, so you listenin,
    I met her in the thirtieth street
    next to the thirtieth store on
    the thirtieth year of my life,
    so listen yo, this is the thirtieth time I’mma say this
    yeah the thirtieth, so you listenin,
    I met her in the thirtieth street
    next to the thirtieth store on
    the thirtieth year of my life,
    so listen yo, this is the thirtieth time I’mma say this
    yeah the thirtieth, so you listenin,
    I met her in the thirtieth street
    next to the thirtieth store on
    the thirtieth year of my life,
    so listen yo, this is the thirtieth time I’mma say this
    yeah the thirtieth, so you listenin,
    I met her in the thirtieth street
    next to the thirtieth store on
    the thirtieth year of my life,
    so listen yo, this is the thirtieth time I’mma say this
    yeah the thirtieth, so you listenin,
    I met her in the thirtieth street
    next to the thirtieth store on
    the thirtieth year of my life,
    so listen yo, this is the thirtieth time I’mma say this
    yeah the thirtieth, so you listenin,
    I met her in the thirtieth street
    next to the thirtieth store on
    the thirtieth year of my life,
    so listen yo, this is the thirtieth time I’mma say this
    yeah the thirtieth, so you listenin,
    I met her in the thirtieth street
    next to the thirtieth store on
    the thirtieth year of my life,
    so listen yo, this is the thirtieth time I’mma say this
    yeah the thirtieth, so you listenin,
    I met her in the thirtieth street
    next to the thirtieth store on
    the thirtieth year of my life,
    so listen yo, this is the thirtieth time I’mma say this
    yeah the thirtieth, so you listenin,
    I met her in the thirtieth street
    next to the thirtieth store on
    the thirtieth year of my life,
    so listen yo, this is the thirtieth time I’mma say this
    yeah the thirtieth, so you listenin,
    I met her in the thirtieth street
    next to the thirtieth store on
    the thirtieth year of my life,
    so listen yo, this is the thirtieth time I’mma say this
    yeah the thirtieth, so you listenin,
    I met her in the thirtieth street
    next to the thirtieth store on
    the thirtieth year of my life,
    so listen yo, this is the thirtieth time I’mma say this
    yeah the thirtieth, so you listenin,
    I met her in the thirtieth street
    next to the thirtieth store on
    the thirtieth year of my life,
    so listen yo, this is the thirtieth time I’mma say this
    yeah the thirtieth, so you listenin,
    I met her in the thirtieth street
    next to the thirtieth store on
    the thirtieth year of my life,
    so listen yo, this is the thirtieth time I’mma say this
    yeah the thirtieth, so you listenin,
    I met her in the thirtieth street
    next to the thirtieth store on
    the thirtieth year of my life,
    so listen yo, this is the thirtieth time I’mma say this
    yeah the thirtieth, so you listenin,
    I met her in the thirtieth street
    next to the thirtieth store on
    the thirtieth year of my life,
    so listen yo, this is the thirtieth time I’mma say this
    yeah the thirtieth, so you listenin,
    I met her in the thirtieth street
    next to the thirtieth store on
    the thirtieth year of my life,
    so listen yo, this is the thirtieth time I’mma say this
    yeah the thirtieth, so you listenin,
    I met her in the thirtieth street
    next to the thirtieth store on
    the thirtieth year of my life,
    so listen yo, this is the thirtieth time I’mma say this
    yeah the thirtieth, so you listenin,
    I met her in the thirtieth street
    next to the thirtieth store on
    the thirtieth year of my life,
    so listen yo, this is the thirtieth time I’mma say this
    yeah the thirtieth, so you listenin,
    I met her in the thirtieth street
    next to the thirtieth store on
    the thirtieth year of my life,
    so listen yo, this is the thirtieth time I’mma say this
    yeah the thirtieth, so you listenin,
    I met her in the thirtieth street
    next to the thirtieth store on
    the thirtieth year of my life,
    so listen yo, this is the thirtieth time I’mma say this
    yeah the thirtieth, so you listenin,
    I met her in the thirtieth street
    next to the thirtieth store on
    the thirtieth year of my life,
    so listen yo, this is the thirtieth time I’mma say this
    yeah the thirtieth, so you listenin,
    I met her in the thirtieth street
    next to the thirtieth store on
    the thirtieth year of my life,
    so listen yo, this is the thirtieth time I’mma say this
    yeah the thirtieth, so you listenin,
    I met her in the thirtieth street
    next to the thirtieth store on
    the thirtieth year of my life,
    so listen yo, this is the thirtieth time I’mma say this
    yeah the thirtieth, so you listenin,
    I met her in the thirtieth street
    next to the thirtieth store on
    the thirtieth year of my life,
    so listen yo, this is the thirtieth time I’mma say this
    yeah the thirtieth, so you listenin,
    I met her in the thirtieth street
    next to the thirtieth store on
    the thirtieth year of my life,
    so listen yo, this is the thirtieth time I’mma say this
    yeah the thirtieth, so you listenin,
    I met her in the thirtieth street
    next to the thirtieth store on
    the thirtieth year of my life,
    so listen yo, this is the thirtieth time I’mma say this
    yeah the thirtieth, so you listenin,
    I met her in the thirtieth street
    next to the thirtieth store on
    the thirtieth year of my life,

    Liked by 1 person

  3. To celebrate Number 30 or 5

    To celebrate Number Thirty
    I thought I’d write something dirty
    but thirty’s not my favourite number
    so I’m going for something humbler.
    How about choosing Number Six?
    It’s got an eS, it’s got an eX.
    It almost seems to rhyme with flex
    especially if you pronounce flecks like flicks
    but I’m not an Australian.

    And so I’m choosing Number Four
    as in fourward and four goodness sake
    and befour and God foursake-
    en. Oh blow it! I’m going back to Number Thirty,
    all other numbers make me waffle
    which is offal.

    So here, to Ms Chelsea, I present 30 roses
    in a poesie
    to congratulate on Number Five well on the way
    that happiness and joy will be every day
    and in a Million ways not just Thirty
    which is flirty
    and dirty
    and shirty.
    Five would be the number I would deign
    to use if I had to start this poem again.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. 2, By Juan Two

    Two knew there were only two.
    Two who were. Two we rue.
    Too much to do to those two;
    Clearly too few, this we knew.
    Two steps forward, back one plus two.

    Deux you have to be too rude?
    Maybe, nearly, twice as crude.
    Twirly, twirly, twain tutu.
    Two against two others skewed
    Dos into moral turpitude

    Two times kitty, kitty too.
    Twice meowing, two mew, mew
    Two too many. Many twos…
    Two times two I bid you…
    Adieu, Adieu! Adieu, Adieu!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I missed last week. Anyway, here is one for this week:

    Furor over four

    Don’t think I’m a bore
    To sing the praises of number four
    For four is at the forefront of my forward fortress
    Forever my numerical mistress
    Ah four! Fortune smiles on four!
    Sure, there’s four horsemen of the apocalypses
    But does four graves make a necropolises?
    Forget it, just sing praises for four!
    Two squared is four!
    Two plus two is four!
    Two times two is four!
    Two times two times two minus two minus two is four!
    See, four ways to make four from two!
    And the last had four twos for four!
    Forever fortunate in math, four!
    How do I love thee, four?
    Let me count the ways!
    One, two, three, four!
    OK, no more
    About four
    The number
    I adore
    Four

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Pingback: The Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest – Repeated Numbers – Twenty Four

  8. Two years for Brexit

    Two years and still no exit

    Two Prime Minister candidates left

    Two Blokes from the right

    Two Privileged Backgrounds

    Two supporters of hunting with Foxhounds

    Two so called men of the people

    Two big personalities who loath the townspeople

    Two prize A buffoons

    Two politicians so easy to lampoon

    Two conservatives who love the tycoon

    Two elitists who exist for the silver spoon

    Two visions which only bring despair and gloom

    Two numpties living in a policy vacuum

    Two muppets who are so out of tune

    Sadly one to be PM in June.


    Sorry yep another one about the UK and our crap government.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Pingback: The Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest-The Irritated Ant – Ruth Scribbles

  10. Congratulations on your 30th TPC, Chelsea! That’s actually a big deal- sustaining a contest for so long.
    It’s your 30th, but my 1st. I’m actually very tired today, so I hope my poem turns out to be terrible enough:
    Euler’s Number
    E equals mc-squared,
    Oh wait, fudge, it’s a poem about a number and not a physical quantity
    So actually e equals 2.718281828459045
    And on and on and on and on…
    Until the end of time and space
    If they have an end, that is.

    So what’s the big deal about this e?
    See, e raised to x is a very special function
    Called the exponential function
    But that’s not what’s special about that, no
    (Though that could be, at least annoying if not special
    Because in childhood they taught us that exponent is just repeated multiplication of a number by itself
    Like 2^3 is 2×2×2
    Which equals 8, by the way
    (Not that it’s relevant)
    And you would think that exponential function is x raised to some number
    But no dear, oh no,
    Exponential function is e raised to x
    Annoying, ain’t it?
    I know, I hate Maths too)

    So the special thing is that the derivative
    Of e^x is e^x itself
    And so is the integral
    (The slope of the function
    Is the function itself
    And the area under the function
    Is the function itself)
    Ain’t that clever? Ain’t that amazing?
    Look me in the eye and tell me
    That that’s not the most beautiful thing ever.
    (I know you can’t because I’m behind a screen
    Hehehe)

    So yeah, e^x is also the inverse of log
    Not the log burnt to cook food in primitive times, silly
    The logarithm, logx to the base something
    Usually- yes- e
    Which is 2.718281828459045
    Which is asking the question, to what power
    Must I raise e
    To get x?
    See, Maths can be philosophical too.

    So e, 2.718281828459045,
    Is a very useful number
    Because it makes calculations simpler
    And that’s counterintuitive
    Because you wouldn’t expect such a complicated number
    To make things anything but difficult,
    But trust me on that,
    Because even though you probably don’t
    Use it in real life,
    I’m a science student.

    So e, 2.718281828459045
    Is hidden in nature
    In spirals of shells, and butterfly wings
    And other things people say to
    Make themselves sound smart
    Amd observant
    When really they’ve just googled
    ‘Number e in nature’
    To show it off to friends.
    And so did I.
    (Such candor.).
    Honesty is the best policy,
    Or should I say, polic- e?
    Not the police that pulls you over for overspeeding, silly,
    Policy, polic- e, get it?
    I’ll just e myself out.

    Liked by 1 person

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