The Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest

Chel Owens

Hello poets, and welcome to the 31st Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest!

Read the basic how-to about what we do around here if you’re confused. If you don’t want to click a link and read an outline, that’s cool. You can also stay up all night and write whatever comes out before drinking coffee.

Besides that, here are the specifics for this week:

  1. Just to be inclusive, the Topic is small rodents’ opinions on political policies.
    I am a moderate and do not approve of anyone shaming, judging, hating, or blaming others for their views; but the politicians themselves are free game.
  2. Don’t filibuster for too long. Keep the Length to 200 words or fewer.
  3. Rhyme if it makes your constituents happy. Or, just promise to.
  4. Most importantly: Make it terrible. In fact, make “Make it terrible” your slogan. Slap “Make it terrible” stickers on babies and kiss their sweet mothers for the camera.
  5. I realize this sort of thing can raise some blood pressures, so keep your poem PG or cleaner. After all, in rodent politics they don’t actually want fur to fly.

You have till 8:00 a.m. MST next Friday (June 28) to submit a poem.

Use the form below if you want to be anonymous for a week.

For a more social experience that’s high in vitamins and minerals*, include your poem or a link to it in the comments.

Have fun!

my-name-57442-unsplash.jpg

Photo credit:
My Name

*The Terrible Poetry Contest is not actually high in vitamins and minerals.

37 thoughts on “The Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest”

  3. This rat’s opinion on political policies

    The Desert Fathers – those ancient monks –
    spent years trying to debunk
    the notion that in order not to sin
    one must have an opinion about everythin’.

    They spent years purifying their hearts from worldly gain
    so on most things had no opin-ian.
    These days it’s easier (people scoff)
    but I simply turn the TV off.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Squeak up!, little mouse
    for your opinions matter
    unless I disagree with ‘em
    and call in The Ratter.

    You want perfectly semicircular holes
    put along the wall
    at the bottom
    and cheesy triangles, (more holes),
    on traps if I got ‘em
    but only ones activated by tomcats’ tails!
    for once, you’re singing my song
    little mouse, we’re going to get along.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Ok Chelsea you’re making this exceedingly difficult and I will admit that I’m not quite on target but hey, that’s just part of what makes it terrible. Viva La Mouse!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Hamster Hamster

    Hamster Hamster
    What’s your political opinion?
    Hamster Hamster
    Do you want to run for office?
    Hamster Hamster
    Do you want everyone to be your minion?
    Hamster Hamster
    Or at this game are you a novice?

    Hamster Hamster
    Are you a socialist?
    Hamster Hamster
    Maybe you’re a conservative?
    Hamster Hamster
    Though you’re probably a fascist
    Hamster Hamster
    Big fascist hamster with no relative

    Hamster Hamster
    Are you going to put us all in concentration camps?
    Hamster Hamster
    Are you going to close all the borders?
    Hamster Hamster
    Are you going to make us just use lamps?
    Hamster Hamster
    Or are we all going to become hoarders?

    Hamster Hamster
    Are you going to make us build you a giant hamster wheel?
    Hamster Hamster
    Or maybe we will toil in factories making you hamster treats
    Hamster Hamster
    Is your running mate going to be a big grey seal?
    Hamster Hamster
    Or maybe we will all be unemployed wandering the streets

    Hamster Hamster
    There in your little hamster cage
    Hamster Hamster
    I’m not sure I ever want to let you out
    Hamster Hamster
    What you might do to us is hard to gauge
    Hamster Hamster
    So just sit there and pout

    Joanne Fisher

    Liked by 2 people

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  13. I’m a fascist rodent in a moderate country
    I stand as strong as the sentry
    I believe what I believe because I believe what I believe and what I believe is believing in belief:
    Belief that liberal hamsters will take their cheese someplace else
    Belief that secularism will die! Die! Die
    Belief that we’re comin for ya. Yeah, we comin for you little weakminded hamsters

    Liked by 1 person

  14. The US wants to build a really big wall
    
It’s to keep bad folk out maybe like Darth Maul

    Paris is a beautiful place full of Yellow Vests

    A great city to visit especially if you like protests

    Canada seemed to have a charismatic leader

    Now he seems tainted to the lay reader

    The UK is run by a bunch of useless buffoons

    Soon to become no more than Trumps spittoon

    Clearly we are being failed by our politicians
    
Yet our rodents have untapped political ambitions

    They want to address Climate Change
    
Rodents want positive action not wasting time on the golf range

    They are not happy with our leaders looking after the rich only
    
Rodents will favour the poor and make sure the rich feel very lonely

    They see that nationalism has disastrous consequences
    
Rodents will build bridges not really big fences

    Politicians like to feed on your souls

    Rodents like to munch on your toilet rolls

    The ruling elite need to tremble

    As its time for the Gerbils to Assemble

    Liked by 2 people

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  16. A Rodent Counteremployment

    Hear hear, come to order and mind ye
    That when we bang this here gavel we remind thee
    That we did not cause the Black Plague, by any means!
    ‘Twas the fleas on my great Uncle Lou
    who first carried the scourge to youse.
    ‘Twas none of our doin’.

    And now onto Matter, Agenda Item, five hundred and forty three
    We’ve saved a lot of your sorry behinds from death, haven’t we?
    Being tested and prodded, killed and experimented
    We’ve saved more lives than 911, you scurvy peasant.

    And now, let’s see what the humans are after
    Dear me, a wall, pollution, and clear disregard of natural disaster
    A debt over a trillion; why when I last checked it was billions
    And now they want, wait that can’t be true–surely they care about children more than who’s whom?
    Disregard, disregard, onto House Bill Eleventy-Seven

    All those in favor of banishing cats and birds alike–say aye!

    Liked by 1 person

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