Welcome to The Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest! This is our 34th time of offending the internet and I hope we continue to disappoint.
As those who’ve entered before know, writing terrible poetry is an art form. To truly offend one’s sensibilities; a bad poet needs to nearly fit a meter, almost follow a rhythmic pattern, or get so close to a beautiful description his audience starts picturing EXIT signs instead of snow falling gently in a springtime field. I explain the process a bit here.
Besides that, here are this week’s specifics:
- Topic: Animals and their pregnancy.
Did you know the African Bush Elephant carries …well, an elephant for 22 months? That a male seahorse carries the babies (up to 1,500!)? Or that female Komodo Dragons can impregnate themselves without a male through a process called parthenogenesis?
Did you know you’re going to write a poem about it?
- Just to make it more fun, I’d like the Length to be about Hallmark Valentine’s Day card-sized. Bonus points if you actually write it like a Hallmark Valentine’s Day card.
- Rhyme? It’s up to you.
- Mostly, just make it terrible. Whilst composing your note of affection, a pregnant elephant all the way across the ocean needs to raise its head from the water hole toilet and vow to spend its next 21 months making its way to your house…
- I do know where babies come from; but if National Geographic can keep things clinical, I think our usual PG rating will suffice.
You have till 8:00 a.m. MST next Friday (July 19) to submit a poem.
Use the form below if you want to be anonymous for a week.
Or, for a more social experience, include your poem or a link to it in the comments.
Joshua J. Cotten