My Mantis, a slightly terrible poem

Have you eaten, my love?
Are you certain?
Don’t mean to be impert’en
But while I’m …erm, squirtin’
I’d rather
Neither
Of us
Lost

Our heads.

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Scientists long believed that female mantises engaged in sexual cannibalism. After the males mounted their partner, deposited their essence, and dismounted; most females then literally bit the male’s head off.

Recent studies of less-invasive means prove that female mantises rarely attack and eat their Baby Daddies in their normal homes nor in their natural surroundings. There is still some debate as to whether the female’s nutritional deficiencies at the time affect things.

 

©2019 Chelsea Owens

8 thoughts on “My Mantis, a slightly terrible poem

  1. masercot July 17, 2019 / 4:47 am

    Now you explained AFTER the poem. I DEMAND GREEN LETTERS!

    Liked by 1 person

      • masercot July 17, 2019 / 7:15 am

        Wellll… I have been meaning to find a wizard to give me a brain…

        Liked by 1 person

        • Chelsea Owens July 17, 2019 / 7:26 am

          Why stop there? I’ve heard he gets discounts on hearts and balloons, too! (Or maybe that was a leprechaun.)

          Liked by 1 person

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