The Strangest Pregnant Animal Ever, a poem

From curly hair to larger feet
And drooling, dozing, sniffling snores;

From skin tags, spots, and extra heat
And sudden change to teenage pores;

From stomach smashed and bladder squished
And nausea any time awake;

From snacks on which one must subsist
And baths that one must never take;

From ever-spreading stretch mark lines
And complications ev’ry term;

From husband flirts one must decline…


You wish you’d never seen That Sperm!

24 thoughts on “The Strangest Pregnant Animal Ever, a poem

  1. jenanita01 July 19, 2019 / 1:32 am

    I remember it well… (but it won’t last forever!)

    Liked by 3 people

    • Chelsea Owens July 19, 2019 / 6:30 am

      That’s what i keep telling myself! It helps to remember that I’m not an elephant. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Norah July 19, 2019 / 5:11 am

    Now that’s an animal I recognise. 😉 Very funny. (or maybe not?)

    Liked by 3 people

      • Norah July 21, 2019 / 3:15 am

        The more I get to know of you, the more (little bits) I know to be true. 🙂

        Liked by 2 people

          • Norah July 23, 2019 / 3:32 am

            I love your responses, Chelsea. Thank you. 🙂

            Liked by 1 person

    • Chelsea Owens July 19, 2019 / 10:36 am

      It’s a large group of animals who experience these effects. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. reality July 19, 2019 / 6:01 pm

    Wonderful poem. Yet, there’s at least two sides …. My ex-wife, an assassin working for the republican conspiracy, a mafioso’s daughter, also assassinating me for the Roman Catholic Imperial Church, contracted to destroy me by having two kids with me when she never expressed interest in having kids, kids, having a family and told me she was using birth control pills; two kids without even one conversation- and then separated for the last time when I was 21 with two kids to support. You are very kind. Yes, only our hearts allow us to see that all life are needed threads in the fabric of life, that “…we(e),…” can never allow to be torn asunder. War isn’t the answer, it’s only the ever asked and never answered adequately question, why? And, when bees are extinct, humanity will not be eating and soon after will follow them. As well, without freedom of the press no other freedoms would exist. Don’t support the treason of the anti-impeachment movement of Nancy ‘Chamberlain’ Pelosi. The ‘Big Fix’ is in again, remember, if it ain’t fixed don’t break it; time’s short, hour’s late. Sources for evolutionary growth 🙂 reality

    Liked by 2 people

    • Chelsea Owens July 19, 2019 / 10:11 pm

      Sorry that this happened to you.

      For me, I’m simply complaining from the throes of (chosen) morning sickness and the bit of resentment from all the side effects. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • reality July 19, 2019 / 10:26 pm

        Of course, I was just in a bit of a mood; have a great day- thanx again 🙂 reality

        Liked by 2 people

        • Chelsea Owens July 19, 2019 / 10:27 pm

          An understandable mood, considering!! I am sorry and hope I didn’t open up a sore spot. :/

          Liked by 1 person

  4. reality July 22, 2019 / 5:27 pm

    Not at all. Sometimes I tend to be a little bit of a contrarian; for, there’s so much that one needs to resist against, struggle against, it can become somewhat habitual. Bon soir 🙂 reality

    Liked by 3 people

    • Chelsea Owens July 24, 2019 / 1:33 pm

      That’s right, just like how I shouldn’t whine about colds or monthly cycles.

      Liked by 2 people

      • masercot July 24, 2019 / 2:10 pm

        Well, I stopped complaining about kidney stones after I got the fifteenth one…

        Liked by 1 person

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