The Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest

Good morning, afternoon, evening, and midnight snack time! It’s time for Terrible Poetry Contest #39.

What the heck is ‘terrible poetry?’ Read our obligatory recommendations and health risks here. The Terrible Poetry Contest and Chelsea Owens will not be held accountable for any writers’ or readers’ desires to gnaw their own legs off after reading.

Interested? Here are this week’s specifics:

  1. The Topic is vacations. Were you in paradise, the envy of all your online ‘friends?’ Did you finally cross off your bucket list trip to sleep atop the grave of Edgar Allen Poe? Or, was your experience a little less than ideal?
  2. As may be expected, this means the Length is postcard parameters. Write your poem home to your parents, to your grandparents, or your pen pal you want to impress.
  3. Rhyme if it works, or if it doesn’t. The choice is yours.
  4. Make it terrible!! Don’t make me sic the camp counselors on you, right after unleashing beach sharks to photo bomb your Leaning Tower of Pisa pic.
  5. Vacations aren’t risqué. This rating can stay PG or cleaner.

You have till 8:00 a.m. MST next Friday (August 23) to submit a poem.

Use the form below if you want to be anonymous for a week.

For a more social experience, include your poem or a link to it in the comments.

Have fun!

 

27 thoughts on “The Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest

  1. trentpmcd August 17, 2019 / 12:34 pm

    Just writing from my.
    Little bit of paradise.
    Just taking some.
    Time for a note.
    Just saying that.
    Vacation is going.
    Well.
    Just need to let you know.
    That I will be out.
    Of the hospital.
    Soon.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Peregrine Arc August 18, 2019 / 7:54 pm

    Greetings from Bermuda

    I finally made it to Bermuda, my dear little one.
    Everyone has shorts and triangles for sale, it’s odd.
    I should be back next Tuesday, make sure you feed the cat.
    The plane just needs to get us out of this isoceles, stat.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Bruce Goodman August 20, 2019 / 11:56 am

    A postcard to the wife

    I wanted a hassle-free vacation
    so that’s why I’m not telling you my location.
    I don’t care if you’re alone;
    I’m glad I left you at home.
    I don’t miss you constantly talking garbage,
    although I do miss having you here to carry my luggage.
    When I get back home next Friday
    I hope the house is nice and tidy.
    So aloha from some hidden beach
    that hopefully you won’t be able to reach.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. riley4892 August 20, 2019 / 1:33 pm

    Vacation Limerick

    My family went away on vacay,
    And the sun shone most every day.
    Until there was rain,
    It drove us insane,
    And now we stay inside to play.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. joanne the geek August 21, 2019 / 9:18 pm

    Déjà vu

    It’s like I’ve been here before
    all the beaches I’m at, all seem the same
    they all have sand and rocks and water
    and bathers slowly roasting themselves in the sun
    and then there are the hotels –
    all offering services and rooms that all
    look the same no matter where you go
    and all the people are the same too
    I’m not actually saying they are literally all the same people
    but that they are all the same types of people, that’s
    what I’m getting at
    I don’t mean to sound neurotic
    but sometimes I wonder if I’m in a simulation

    Joanne Fisher

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chelsea Owens August 23, 2019 / 2:29 pm

      Oh my. I think you just summarized how I’ve been feeling about most of my vacations lately. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  6. bereavedandbeingasingleparent August 22, 2019 / 12:31 pm

    Arrived in Pluto just 459 years late.
    You wouldn’t believe what they are charging on the exchange rate
    Can’t open the hotel windows as the air tends to dissipate
    Can eat what I want as the low gravity gives me little weight

    The beaches are empty so it feels a little desolate 

    The trip round the 5 moons was first rate

    The nightlife is great at the disco you should see the locals gyrate
    Tomorrow off to one of the poles to ice skate.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Shaun Jex August 22, 2019 / 1:29 pm

    A Postcard from Finland

    Hello Dear –
    I fear
    You would not like it here
    Helsinki
    Is way way way too stinky
    This time of year
    But I guess it’s good to know
    No matter how far and wide I roam
    There is always a little something
    That reminds me of our home.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Lisa Bradshaw August 27, 2019 / 11:25 pm

    Some great entries.. I work in a holiday environment and some days I wish they would all just go home.. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

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