Welcome to the Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest, a tortuous tradition for 40 weeks today.
At some point, each person feels a muse-like itch to poem. Most really shouldn’t, and that is exactly the sort of rhythmic recitation we seek to write and compete with. Read my basic outline here to clear up any further confusion about expectations (there are none).
Here are the specifics for this week:
- I’ve thought short and shallowly about the Topic, and it shall be Shakespearean laments. If you don’t know what a Shakespearean lament is, Google is your friend. And William Shakespeare.
- If you wishe to truley showe offe, go ahead and maketh the Lengthe a traditional iambic pentameter couplet. If ye wisheth not, at least keep the duration to that of a reasonable amount so as not to send the masses into a Midsummer night’s dream.
- Since The Bard most often Rhymed or near-rhymed, ye muste as well.
- Above all else, ye knaves, make it terrible! Off-the-cuff Shakespearean performers must give you a standing ovation, followed by throwing the foulest fruit they’ve purchased from the nearest funnel cake food truck.
- Keep things PG or lower. If ye must insult or deprave, use Elizabethan curses.
You have till 8:00 a.m. MST next Friday (August 30) to submit a poem.
Use the form below if you want to be anonymous for a week.
If not, and for a more social experience, include your poem or a link to it in the comments.