The Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest

Chel Owens

Welcome to the Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest #41!!

For some guidance, click a basic description here. Entrants assume all risks associated with poeming, reading, and laughing painfully.

Here are the specifics for this week:

  1. Topic, topic; who’s got a topic? Ooh! I do; I do!
    It’s Back to School!
    Thank you, Timmy. Now, next time let’s remember to raise our hands.
  2. No teacher actually reads those 500-word essays, so keep the Length above 4 words and below 200. For those in the advanced math group, that’s 4<p<200, where p is poem and 4 is 4 and 200 is 200.
  3. Teacher, should we Rhyme? If you wish, this occasion.
  4. Just Make it terrible! The superintendent of all the area schools must feel compelled to visit and deliver a lecture on “Why One Never Poems Without Reason,” followed by a light refreshment of watered-down punch.
  5. Naturally, this assignment must be rated appropriate for general audiences.

You have till 8:00 a.m. MST next Friday (September 6) to submit a poem.

Use the form below to remain anonymous for a week.

For a more social experience and immediate fame, include your poem or a link to it in the comments.

Share with your friends (and enemies).

Have fun!

 

 

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Photo credit:
Image by klimkin from Pixabay

18 thoughts on “The Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest”

  1. OK, Ms. Owens, I will take my turn at the blackboard and.. what do you mean they don’t have blackboards and chalk any more? Fine! I’ll write it out on this, hmph, whiteboard:

    Teacher, teacher,
    Be aware
    I just dropped my pencil
    Under there
    Ha!
    I made the teacher
    Say “Underwear”!
    Principle, Principle
    Don’t be blue
    I know I took advantage
    Of the teacher who’s new
    Darn!
    He sent my butt home
    For my mother to chew
    Mother, Mother
    Don’t be mad
    Only nine months to summer
    Then we’ll be glad
    Huh!
    What’s she mean
    It won’t be the worst nine months
    She ever had….

    Liked by 4 people

  3. SIDDOWN N SHUDDUP!

    Hello Everyone! Welcome back to school!
    Murray, SIDDOWN N SHUDDUP!
    Paula, I hope your summer time was cool!
    Wayne, SIDDOWN N SHUDDUP!
    Shirley, you’re acting like a fool.
    Frank, SIDDOWN N SHUDDUP!
    William, you’re full of bull.
    Jeanette, SIDDOWN N SHUDDUP!
    Winifred, no you can’t; it’s against the rule.
    Neil, SIDDOWN N SHUDDUP!
    Oh for goodness sake! I can’t wait for the Christmas break when we celebrate Yule.
    EVERYONE! SIDDOWN N SHUDDUP!
    Let’s see who does the bester
    In this first semester.
    YOU’RE HERE TO LEARN SO SIDDOWN N SHUDDUP!

    Liked by 1 person

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  6. Is it really back to school

    In that uniform so uncool

    Yep

    Do I have to Combe my hair

    I’m not allowed to rock in my chair
    
Yep

    Come again, I have to get up at Half past Six

    Then get on the school bus with the other lunatics

    Yep

    Have to eat a healthy school lunch
    
And in the class I’m not allowed to munch
    
Yep

    I have to learn my nine times tables

    And I need to write my name on all the coat labels
    
Yep

    I’m not allowed to pick my nose

    While having to write boring prose

    Yep

    Not allowed to play games of my mobile phone

    And if the teacher shouts I’m not allowed to moan

    Yep

    Must not run and play along the school corridors

    And no pulling funny faces at the other choristers

    Yep

    When I ask a question I must raise my hand

    Even when in Latin it’s impossible to understand

    Yep
    
I have to fully button up my school shirt

    Always keep the blazer on to hide all the dirt

    Yep

    Not supposed to throw objects at the head-boy

    Be nice to your classmates and certainly don’t annoy

    Yep

    On no grounds can I fight or swear

    Don’t attack the other kids with the set square

    Yep

    Need to pick my feet up so no scrapping only the floorboards
    
And certainly I’m not supposed to do rude doodles on the blackboards

    Yep

    I HATE SCHOOL……


    Liked by 1 person

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