The Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest

Chel Owens

Howdy, partners! Welcome to this here terrible poetry contest. We at the ranch have been rounding up bad poetry fer 48 weeks now.

Ready to rodeo? You’ll wanna read a run-down here. Then, saddle up and get yer lasso ready fer fun!

Here some ‘spifics for this round:

  1. The Topic‘s The Old West. Or, do The New West. Heck, do Midwest if that’s how you ride. Think of a song to sing on a campfire-smoke night, a shout to yell at those darn coyotes, or a rhyme to a cowboy from his sweetheart back home.
  2. Length is up to you, but many a cowpoke will doze off mid-ride if the trail gets too long.
  3. Rhymin’s up to you, partner.
  4. Most importan’ly, Make ‘er terrible. I don’t wanna see yer sorry hide back here till it is.
  5. Many a rough-rider can have a rough tongue, but sometimes lady folk read this blog. Keep yer comments to a civilized PG-13.

You have till 8:00 a.m. MST next Friday (October 25) to submit a poem.

Use the form below to stay low from The Law.

For instant fame an’ notoriety, leave yer poem or a link in the comments. Ye olde WordPress ain’t always good at pingbacks, if you know what I mean.

Yee-ha!

 

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Photo credit: Image by skeeze from Pixabay

 

©2019 Chelsea Owens

27 thoughts on “The Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest”

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  4. trentpmcd October 20, 2019 / 7:10 am

    Campfire Quite, and Then…

    Quiet on the Plain
    Gentle noises
    From the lowing cattle
    Cook takes his tin pan
    Makes some noises
    As he strikes it with a ladle
    I wince in pain
    My stomach makes noises
    Slop and beans do rattle
    Another cowhand shouts out profane
    Screams with noise
    The beans are ruining his saddle
    No longer quiet on the Plain
    Loud toots and other noises
    The racket disturbs the cattle

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chelsea Owens October 25, 2019 / 10:22 pm

      Truly terrible, Trent, and easy to imagine myself experiencing! 😀

      Liked by 1 person

      • trentpmcd October 26, 2019 / 6:07 am

        Did you ever see the movie Blazing Saddles 😉

        Like

          • trentpmcd October 26, 2019 / 9:32 am

            Funny, politically incorrect movie about racism, but a great scene with cowboys and beans (thus the name of the movie 😉 )

            Liked by 1 person

            • Chelsea Owens October 26, 2019 / 10:18 am

              Well, Mel Brooks is rarely known for staying on the intellectual, accurate side of things.

              Liked by 1 person

              • trentpmcd October 27, 2019 / 6:16 am

                With this one he did push a few uncomfortable truths about how people deal with racism, and they still make people uncomfortable 45 or so year later…

                Liked by 1 person

      • trentpmcd October 26, 2019 / 6:08 am

        Oh yeah, I tried for as many not-quite-rhymes as possible this time…

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Bruce Goodman October 20, 2019 / 10:52 am

    Yeehaw! Yippee yi yo kayah!

    My horse’s gone lame
    So I’m ridin’ a kangaroo out west
    It’s a bit boing boing boing
    So goin’ clip clop clip clop gets a bit messed.
    Yeehaw! Yippee yi yo kayah!

    My kangaroo’s gone lame
    So I’m tryin’ to sit on the back of this hippopotamus
    It’s a bit plod plod plod
    So goin’ clip clop clip clop is a bit preposterous.
    Yeehaw! Yippee yi yo kayah!

    My hippopotamus’s gone lame
    So I’m ridin’ a rockin’ horse through the desert
    It’s startin’ to squeak something naughty
    So I’m givin’ it a squirt of WD-40.
    Yeehaw! Yippee yi yo kayah!

    WD-40 worked like a charm
    Now it ain’t sqeakin’ and rowdy
    I’ll just tie up my rockin’ horse on this hitchin’ post
    And go into the saloon and say howdy.
    Yippee! Yippee! Cheers!
    Yeehaw! Yippee yi yo kayah!

    Liked by 2 people

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    • Chelsea Owens October 24, 2019 / 9:09 am

      I am both excited and a bit nervous to read it! 😀

      Like

  11. bereavedandbeingasingleparent October 24, 2019 / 7:02 pm

    Out in the dust field prairies of Dewsbury and Pontefract
    
The Yorkie badlands with rhubarb laden scrub tracks

    Where scary predators stalk lonely unsuspecting riders
    
Those ferrets are deadly once in your trouser insiders

    Old Cowboys on the trail for one last ride

    Trying to avoid those wannabe Bonnie and Clyde’s

    Clinging to a dying way of life like a stubborn Rooster Cogburn

    Taking those pills for the constant bake bean farts and heartburn
    
Singing stories of the wonders of this cowboy lifestyles

    While fighting the urge to scratch those lingering piles

    Carrying the sweetheart photo of the long lost cowgirl

    Forgetting she left you for an Accountant who could afford a pearl
    
All the ranches and rodeos have long since closed
    
Now 24 hour Big Macs are juxtaposed

    Getting back in the saddle you do it for glory and the life which is true
    
But really the only excitement left is a solitary campfire game of Buckaroo


    Liked by 1 person

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  16. janebasilblog October 25, 2019 / 3:26 pm

    I’ve just posted a poem for this week’s contest… now I’m just hoping that the pingback hasn’t worked, since my ditty falls just a little embarrassingly – though no more than a tad – short of terrible. It looks as if I’m safe…

    Liked by 1 person

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