Howdy, partners! Welcome to this here terrible poetry contest. We at the ranch have been rounding up bad poetry fer 48 weeks now.
Ready to rodeo? You’ll wanna read a run-down here. Then, saddle up and get yer lasso ready fer fun!
Here some ‘spifics for this round:
- The Topic‘s The Old West. Or, do The New West. Heck, do Midwest if that’s how you ride. Think of a song to sing on a campfire-smoke night, a shout to yell at those darn coyotes, or a rhyme to a cowboy from his sweetheart back home.
- Length is up to you, but many a cowpoke will doze off mid-ride if the trail gets too long.
- Rhymin’s up to you, partner.
- Most importan’ly, Make ‘er terrible. I don’t wanna see yer sorry hide back here till it is.
- Many a rough-rider can have a rough tongue, but sometimes lady folk read this blog. Keep yer comments to a civilized PG-13.
You have till 8:00 a.m. MST next Friday (October 25) to submit a poem.
Use the form below to stay low from The Law.
For instant fame an’ notoriety, leave yer poem or a link in the comments. Ye olde WordPress ain’t always good at pingbacks, if you know what I mean.
Yee-ha!
Photo credit: Image by skeeze from Pixabay
©2019 Chelsea Owens
chelowens.com 
https://pensitivity101.wordpress.com/2019/10/20/terrible-poetry-wild-west/
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Campfire Quite, and Then…
Quiet on the Plain
Gentle noises
From the lowing cattle
Cook takes his tin pan
Makes some noises
As he strikes it with a ladle
I wince in pain
My stomach makes noises
Slop and beans do rattle
Another cowhand shouts out profane
Screams with noise
The beans are ruining his saddle
No longer quiet on the Plain
Loud toots and other noises
The racket disturbs the cattle
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Truly terrible, Trent, and easy to imagine myself experiencing! 😀
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Did you ever see the movie Blazing Saddles 😉
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I thought I had, but now I’m wonderin’.
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Funny, politically incorrect movie about racism, but a great scene with cowboys and beans (thus the name of the movie 😉 )
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Well, Mel Brooks is rarely known for staying on the intellectual, accurate side of things.
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With this one he did push a few uncomfortable truths about how people deal with racism, and they still make people uncomfortable 45 or so year later…
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Oh yeah, I tried for as many not-quite-rhymes as possible this time…
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You did well, then! 🙂
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Yeehaw! Yippee yi yo kayah!
My horse’s gone lame
So I’m ridin’ a kangaroo out west
It’s a bit boing boing boing
So goin’ clip clop clip clop gets a bit messed.
Yeehaw! Yippee yi yo kayah!
My kangaroo’s gone lame
So I’m tryin’ to sit on the back of this hippopotamus
It’s a bit plod plod plod
So goin’ clip clop clip clop is a bit preposterous.
Yeehaw! Yippee yi yo kayah!
My hippopotamus’s gone lame
So I’m ridin’ a rockin’ horse through the desert
It’s startin’ to squeak something naughty
So I’m givin’ it a squirt of WD-40.
Yeehaw! Yippee yi yo kayah!
WD-40 worked like a charm
Now it ain’t sqeakin’ and rowdy
I’ll just tie up my rockin’ horse on this hitchin’ post
And go into the saloon and say howdy.
Yippee! Yippee! Cheers!
Yeehaw! Yippee yi yo kayah!
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WD-40’s the cowboy’s cure, eh? 😀
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I have done one and it is here:
https://michaelsfishbowl.com/2019/10/24/on-the-trail-terrible-poetry-contest/
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I am both excited and a bit nervous to read it! 😀
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Out in the dust field prairies of Dewsbury and Pontefract
The Yorkie badlands with rhubarb laden scrub tracks
Where scary predators stalk lonely unsuspecting riders
Those ferrets are deadly once in your trouser insiders
Old Cowboys on the trail for one last ride
Trying to avoid those wannabe Bonnie and Clyde’s
Clinging to a dying way of life like a stubborn Rooster Cogburn
Taking those pills for the constant bake bean farts and heartburn
Singing stories of the wonders of this cowboy lifestyles
While fighting the urge to scratch those lingering piles
Carrying the sweetheart photo of the long lost cowgirl
Forgetting she left you for an Accountant who could afford a pearl
All the ranches and rodeos have long since closed
Now 24 hour Big Macs are juxtaposed
Getting back in the saddle you do it for glory and the life which is true
But really the only excitement left is a solitary campfire game of Buckaroo
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Hmmm… no pingback?
I wonder if the delay is due to imminent moderation?
Anyway, in case there is a gremlin or WordPress goblin at work, mine is here:
https://lovewillbringustogether.wordpress.com/2019/10/25/terrible-poetry-the-wild-west/
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I’ve just posted a poem for this week’s contest… now I’m just hoping that the pingback hasn’t worked, since my ditty falls just a little embarrassingly – though no more than a tad – short of terrible. It looks as if I’m safe…
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😀 Welllll….
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