This morning, I sat in my car and ate a donut. I named it my 59 cent therapy. I forgave the tax.
I’d successfully taken the children to school -half an hour after the bell, and not counting The Child Who is Sick Every Day Ending in “Y.”
They were late because I was late. I was late because I woke up at my usual 5:30 too-early-to-do-stuff-and-too-late-to-sleep, but mostly exactly-when-the-baby-is-putting-too-much-pressure-on-my-bladder. After which, of course, I saw no point or purpose to life.
Some have expressed surprise that I am so candid about Depression. Why not be candid? You talk about your job, your kids, your hobbies -basically, your life. Depression is my life. It’s the cubicle I sit at, getting very little done because the computer rarely functions and the overhead lights have needed replacing for years.
Every day I either numb from it or succumb from it.
And I talk about it. Though not in person.
“How are you today, Chelsea?”
I don’t earn an income, keep up on housework, raise the children without sarcasm, return library books before they’re due, or stay on top of budgeting or meal-planning. I’m fine, while some part that cares is yelling, “Everything is wrong, wrong, wrong.”
And that is why I’m honest about Depression: because the elephant’s in the room and I still haven’t figured out why I put it there or how I can get it out.
At least not for less than 59 cents.
Maybe you can relate. Maybe not. I’m told not everyone raises elephants. In that case, what animal won’t leave you alone?
I wrote other stuff. Here it is:
Wednesday, October 23: Wrote “Parenting: The Fine Line.”
Thursday, October 24: Did a throwback to a post I wrote on JES’ site, “The Pit of My Mind.”
Saturday, October 26: Announced the 49th Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest. The theme is something SCARY. PLEASE ENTER!
Sunday, October 27: Shared “To My Guilty Pleasure,” a love letter to my charbroiled combo meal.
Monday, October 28: An inspirational quote by Someone.
Tuesday, October 29: “Since the Bombs Fell: Two,” the second in my dystopian, post-nuclear series.
Wednesday, October 30: Today.
Photo Credit: Unsplash
©2019 Chelsea Owens