Depression and Donuts (and an Elephant)

Chel Owens

This morning, I sat in my car and ate a donut. I named it my 59 cent therapy. I forgave the tax.

I’d successfully taken the children to school -half an hour after the bell, and not counting The Child Who is Sick Every Day Ending in “Y.”

They were late because I was late. I was late because I woke up at my usual 5:30 too-early-to-do-stuff-and-too-late-to-sleep, but mostly exactly-when-the-baby-is-putting-too-much-pressure-on-my-bladder. After which, of course, I saw no point or purpose to life.

Some have expressed surprise that I am so candid about Depression. Why not be candid? You talk about your job, your kids, your hobbies -basically, your life. Depression is my life. It’s the cubicle I sit at, getting very little done because the computer rarely functions and the overhead lights have needed replacing for years.

Every day I either numb from it or succumb from it.

And I talk about it. Though not in person.

“How are you today, Chelsea?”

“Fine.”

I don’t earn an income, keep up on housework, raise the children without sarcasm, return library books before they’re due, or stay on top of budgeting or meal-planning. I’m fine, while some part that cares is yelling, “Everything is wrong, wrong, wrong.”

And that is why I’m honest about Depression: because the elephant’s in the room and I still haven’t figured out why I put it there or how I can get it out.

At least not for less than 59 cents.

Maybe you can relate. Maybe not. I’m told not everyone raises elephants. In that case, what animal won’t leave you alone?

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I wrote other stuff. Here it is:
Wednesday, October 23: Wrote “Parenting: The Fine Line.”

Thursday, October 24: Did a throwback to a post I wrote on JES’ site, “The Pit of My Mind.”

Friday, October 25: Winner of the Weekly Terribly Poetry Contest. Congratulations to Gary!

Saturday, October 26: Announced the 49th Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest. The theme is something SCARY. PLEASE ENTER!

Sunday, October 27: Shared “To My Guilty Pleasure,” a love letter to my charbroiled combo meal.

Monday, October 28: An inspirational quote by Someone.

Tuesday, October 29: “Since the Bombs Fell: Two,” the second in my dystopian, post-nuclear series.

Wednesday, October 30: Today.

 

Photo Credit: Unsplash

©2019 Chelsea Owens

47 thoughts on “Depression and Donuts (and an Elephant)”

  3. I’m so pleased you can talk about those pesky elephants. I can certainly relate, maybe not the baby on the bladder but, but yes I can. I always think my depression looks like a comfy chair and a smiley face to others. To me it’s a padded featureless cell.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. It’s when the elephant transmogrifies into your local librarian that the real fear starts. I must admit, Chelsea, that I’ve been pretty blessed when it comes to not getting depression. Although I have a temper that leaves all others for dead and has got me into a lot of trouble over the years.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I say do what you gotta do. If talking about it feels right to you, it’s right. don’t question it and please don’t stop cuz it offends or triggers someone else. that’s their problem. you gotta take care of you. LY….

    Liked by 2 people

    2. I like “the whole vegan thing” comment. It kind of bugs me that a plant-based lifestyle has become a ‘thing’ and a marketing gimmick. And oftentimes an unhealthy marketing gimmick.

      Like

  8. As long as it’s only an elephant and not an entire zoo – elephant sounds pretty normal to me, I mean, who hasn’t got one? 😅 They come with the kids and probably one for each! 🤷

    Liked by 1 person

  11. We all have moments. We have to remind ourselves that perfection is a myth. Take the time when you need it. A donut is an awesome way to stop and breathe. It’s ok. You’re more than ok.💗💗

    Liked by 2 people

  14. Blog posts like this are inspirational. Dealing with mental health issues are difficult and despite all the outreach and work that’s been done, they still carry a lot of stigma, both socially and personally. I admire your courage, Chelsea, to talk publicly about them. I can’t do that. As far as elephants (one of my favorite animals, BTW) the one that won’t leave me alone is anxiety.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you, Michael.
      I think of my Depression more like Venom, from Spiderman. Elephants are better than that.
      I am sorry to hear about the Anxiety. A relative of mine has Anxiety; sometimes panic attacks. I’ve mostly experienced Social Anxiety, and it’s gotten better with age (and having support and confidence from WordPress followers).

      Liked by 1 person

  15. Why is it that when we wake up too early, then stay in bed, we inevitably oversleep!?! That’s one reason homeschooling works for me . 😬 so y’all got snow right after I left Utah . 😭 And speaking of depression, coming home was really hard. But we carry on, right? Donuts or bags of candy corn yo the rescue! Do you stay away from caffeine like some LDS? I don’t know how people function without it. I don’t use a lot, but I need some . Too much and I get anxiety. I’m up early drinking coffee on a Saturday because I have a race today. Saw your post. I’m really sorry we didn’t get a chance to meet , but we will make it happen next time. My sister is sorta in control of the schedule, ya know? Which is usually fine with me. I just do what she says. It’s a nice break from my regular life of making my children do what I say. That’s not my best skill. Teenage boys love to test your patience! Anyway sorry for the long post. Guess I could have texted this! 🙄 I’ll be praying for you. Remind me , when is your due date? And is your obgyn aware of your depression? 💕

    Liked by 2 people

    1. 😀 I feel like Inigo in “The Princess Bride,” where he says, “Let me explain. No; there is too much. Let me sum up.” 😀

      Yes, I stay away from caffeine. Almost all LDS do not drink coffee; can’t say the same about sodas or energy drinks. For me, I rarely do soda pop, either.
      I am also sorry we didn’t get to meet. Next time, I hope to not be pregnant and I will literally drive up to Park City to do lunch with you and your sister. 🙂
      Teenage boys test everything!
      I just scheduled my C-Section and it’s a month from today. …I ought to mention the depression to the OB; thanks for reminding me.

      Liked by 1 person

  17. I love that you write about depression. You create a safe place for it to be thought about and talked about, and everyone can relate, at least a little, to parts, if not to a whole lot more of it than they want to admit to. Also, your writing is great. And it seems to me like you have a pretty active and supportive readership who all agree and appreciate your frankness. So thanks for being vulnerable and honest and putting a sensitive topic out there. And I’m with you—there is so much more I can admit to in writing that I won’t say face to face. Who cares 😉

    Liked by 1 person

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