Depression and Donuts (and an Elephant)

This morning, I sat in my car and ate a donut. I named it my 59 cent therapy. I forgave the tax.

I’d successfully taken the children to school -half an hour after the bell, and not counting The Child Who is Sick Every Day Ending in “Y.”

They were late because I was late. I was late because I woke up at my usual 5:30 too-early-to-do-stuff-and-too-late-to-sleep, but mostly exactly-when-the-baby-is-putting-too-much-pressure-on-my-bladder. After which, of course, I saw no point or purpose to life.

Some have expressed surprise that I am so candid about Depression. Why not be candid? You talk about your job, your kids, your hobbies -basically, your life. Depression is my life. It’s the cubicle I sit at, getting very little done because the computer rarely functions and the overhead lights have needed replacing for years.

Every day I either numb from it or succumb from it.

And I talk about it. Though not in person.

“How are you today, Chelsea?”

“Fine.”

I don’t earn an income, keep up on housework, raise the children without sarcasm, return library books before they’re due, or stay on top of budgeting or meal-planning. I’m fine, while some part that cares is yelling, “Everything is wrong, wrong, wrong.”

And that is why I’m honest about Depression: because the elephant’s in the room and I still haven’t figured out why I put it there or how I can get it out.

At least not for less than 59 cents.

Maybe you can relate. Maybe not. I’m told not everyone raises elephants. In that case, what animal won’t leave youย alone?

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—————-

I wrote other stuff. Here it is:
Wednesday, October 23: Wrote “Parenting: The Fine Line.”

Thursday, October 24: Did a throwback to a post I wrote on JES’ site, “The Pit of My Mind.”

Friday, October 25: Winner of the Weekly Terribly Poetry Contest. Congratulations to Gary!

Saturday, October 26: Announced the 49th Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest. The theme is something SCARY.ย PLEASE ENTER!

Sunday, October 27: Shared “To My Guilty Pleasure,” a love letter to my charbroiled combo meal.

Monday, October 28: An inspirational quote by Someone.

Tuesday, October 29: “Since the Bombs Fell: Two,” the second in my dystopian, post-nuclear series.

Wednesday, October 30: Today.

 

Photo Credit: Unsplash

ยฉ2019 Chelsea Owens

47 thoughts on “Depression and Donuts (and an Elephant)

  1. lensdailydiary October 30, 2019 / 2:03 pm

    Why are you depressed when you can get a doughnut for 59 cents. They’re a $1.10 here.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chelsea Owens October 30, 2019 / 4:52 pm

      It’s about worth 59 cents. ๐Ÿ™‚

      Like

  2. RuthScribbles October 30, 2019 / 2:22 pm

    Ah… it must be related to my elephant. ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜ข

    Liked by 1 person

  3. bereavedandbeingasingleparent October 30, 2019 / 2:41 pm

    Iโ€™m so pleased you can talk about those pesky elephants. I can certainly relate, maybe not the baby on the bladder but, but yes I can. I always think my depression looks like a comfy chair and a smiley face to others. To me itโ€™s a padded featureless cell.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chelsea Owens October 30, 2019 / 4:54 pm

      I hope you don’t have a baby on your bladder!

      What color is your room? Mine’s mostly dark. I think.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Bruce October 30, 2019 / 5:35 pm

    It’s when the elephant transmogrifies into your local librarian that the real fear starts. I must admit, Chelsea, that I’ve been pretty blessed when it comes to not getting depression. Although I have a temper that leaves all others for dead and has got me into a lot of trouble over the years.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Rethinking Scripture October 30, 2019 / 5:57 pm

    I don’t buy a donut for therapy.
    My food therapy is, a big bowl of cookies and cream ice cream!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Violet Lentz October 30, 2019 / 6:11 pm

    I say do what you gotta do. If talking about it feels right to you, it’s right. don’t question it and please don’t stop cuz it offends or triggers someone else. that’s their problem. you gotta take care of you. LY….

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Peregrine Arc October 30, 2019 / 7:42 pm

    My comfort food is…wait for it…salad. Yep. This was established way before the whole vegan thing, too. ๐Ÿฅ—

    Liked by 2 people

    • Michael B. Fishman November 1, 2019 / 5:21 am

      I like “the whole vegan thing” comment. It kind of bugs me that a plant-based lifestyle has become a ‘thing’ and a marketing gimmick. And oftentimes an unhealthy marketing gimmick.

      Like

  8. Hรคrzenswort October 31, 2019 / 2:27 am

    As long as it’s only an elephant and not an entire zoo – elephant sounds pretty normal to me, I mean, who hasn’t got one? ๐Ÿ˜… They come with the kids and probably one for each! ๐Ÿคท

    Liked by 1 person

  9. TanGental October 31, 2019 / 3:01 am

    I hope your elephants turn pink occasionally and the bladder-as-trampoline stops soon…

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chelsea Owens October 31, 2019 / 8:56 am

      Only with some rose-colored lenses, I expect. Thanks, Geoff. ๐Ÿ™‚

      Like

  10. Norah October 31, 2019 / 5:26 am

    Elephants aren’t always fun and can be hard to move. Take care.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chelsea Owens October 31, 2019 / 8:57 am

      Thanks, Norah. I just need to find the right mouse to scare him.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Norah November 1, 2019 / 4:23 am

        I wish you success with that, Chelsea. Take care.

        Liked by 1 person

  11. LA October 31, 2019 / 7:59 am

    We all have moments. We have to remind ourselves that perfection is a myth. Take the time when you need it. A donut is an awesome way to stop and breathe. Itโ€™s ok. Youโ€™re more than ok.๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿ’—

    Liked by 2 people

    • Chelsea Owens October 31, 2019 / 8:57 am

      Thank you! ๐Ÿ™‚ Kind, encouraging words are even better than a donut.

      Liked by 1 person

      • LA October 31, 2019 / 9:05 am

        Depends on the donut….๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿ’—

        Liked by 1 person

  12. masercot October 31, 2019 / 10:25 am

    I thought my depression was the elephant in the room but it turned out to be the gazelle in the garage. Who knew?

    Liked by 1 person

  13. tnkerr October 31, 2019 / 7:11 pm

    I like donuts. I like them a lot, just not the maple ones.

    Liked by 2 people

  14. Michael B. Fishman November 1, 2019 / 5:27 am

    Blog posts like this are inspirational. Dealing with mental health issues are difficult and despite all the outreach and work that’s been done, they still carry a lot of stigma, both socially and personally. I admire your courage, Chelsea, to talk publicly about them. I can’t do that. As far as elephants (one of my favorite animals, BTW) the one that won’t leave me alone is anxiety.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Chelsea Owens November 1, 2019 / 7:14 am

      Thank you, Michael.
      I think of my Depression more like Venom, from Spiderman. Elephants are better than that.
      I am sorry to hear about the Anxiety. A relative of mine has Anxiety; sometimes panic attacks. I’ve mostly experienced Social Anxiety, and it’s gotten better with age (and having support and confidence from WordPress followers).

      Liked by 1 person

  15. pkadams November 2, 2019 / 5:17 am

    Why is it that when we wake up too early, then stay in bed, we inevitably oversleep!?! That’s one reason homeschooling works for me . ๐Ÿ˜ฌ so y’all got snow right after I left Utah . ๐Ÿ˜ญ And speaking of depression, coming home was really hard. But we carry on, right? Donuts or bags of candy corn yo the rescue! Do you stay away from caffeine like some LDS? I don’t know how people function without it. I don’t use a lot, but I need some . Too much and I get anxiety. I’m up early drinking coffee on a Saturday because I have a race today. Saw your post. I’m really sorry we didn’t get a chance to meet , but we will make it happen next time. My sister is sorta in control of the schedule, ya know? Which is usually fine with me. I just do what she says. It’s a nice break from my regular life of making my children do what I say. That’s not my best skill. Teenage boys love to test your patience! Anyway sorry for the long post. Guess I could have texted this! ๐Ÿ™„ I’ll be praying for you. Remind me , when is your due date? And is your obgyn aware of your depression? ๐Ÿ’•

    Liked by 2 people

    • Chelsea Owens November 2, 2019 / 6:28 pm

      ๐Ÿ˜€ I feel like Inigo in “The Princess Bride,” where he says, “Let me explain. No; there is too much. Let me sum up.” ๐Ÿ˜€

      Yes, I stay away from caffeine. Almost all LDS do not drink coffee; can’t say the same about sodas or energy drinks. For me, I rarely do soda pop, either.
      I am also sorry we didn’t get to meet. Next time, I hope to not be pregnant and I will literally drive up to Park City to do lunch with you and your sister. ๐Ÿ™‚
      Teenage boys test everything!
      I just scheduled my C-Section and it’s a month from today. …I ought to mention the depression to the OB; thanks for reminding me.

      Liked by 1 person

  16. therealmomblogblog November 4, 2019 / 7:19 am

    I love that you write about depression. You create a safe place for it to be thought about and talked about, and everyone can relate, at least a little, to parts, if not to a whole lot more of it than they want to admit to. Also, your writing is great. And it seems to me like you have a pretty active and supportive readership who all agree and appreciate your frankness. So thanks for being vulnerable and honest and putting a sensitive topic out there. And Iโ€™m with youโ€”there is so much more I can admit to in writing that I wonโ€™t say face to face. Who cares ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chelsea Owens November 4, 2019 / 8:33 am

      Thanks! โค It’s true, and the beauty of this supportive group.

      Like

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