The Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest

Good day and welcome to the Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest, #56.

Not to leave anyone adrift, click here for a basic how-to on writing terribly. Bad poetry is not for the faint of heart, though it may be for the feint of art.

Here are this week’s specifics:

  1. The Topic is an epic poem about a great adventure. Laudable deeds and grand gestures will be your comrades-in-arms, even if your adventure proves to go no further than locating a missing sock.
  2. These sorts can run rather long, so let’s cap the poem at a Length of 200 words. Yes, Fishman, you may write fewer than 200.
  3. Rhymes are unnecessary, yet contestants will be awarded bonus points for archaic ones.
  4. Make it terrible, I say! A great shout must be heard from deep within The Woods of Whispering that Princess Sock has been found, and is begging you to stop singing your ballad. Forever.
  5. If the Rating must, it may rise to PG-13. Remember that insults from these times moste often ran the gamut of brigand or knave.

You have till 8:00 a.m. MST next Friday (January 31, 2020) to submit a poem.

Use the given form, below, to submit your poem in secret.

To declare your efforts to all, respond in the comments. Enquire further if a pingback does not show by the following day.

Make merry!


Photo credit: Image by Hans Braxmeier from Pixabay

20 thoughts on “The Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest

  1. The Lay of Sir Fallalot and Rufus

    ‘Twas a tawdry day
    When Rufus the Cat went astray
    So a knight errant, Sir Fallalot
    Was called from 90 miles east of Camelot
    In hopes to solve our dismay

    I’m sure Fallalot felt itty-bitty
    Walking about singing “Here, kitty, kitty”
    Through forest, over moor
    Traveling from shore to shore
    Even visiting every city

    Oh, the adventures he had!
    Full of ogres and people, good and bad
    Deeds to many to count
    This lay had too many verses to count!
    So I cut most of them, don’t be mad

    Fallalot searched for many Years
    Finding naught but bitter tears
    But cats, being what they are
    Rufus really didn’t travel far
    And was safely home in just a couple of days, maybe three, but less than four, I’m sure!

    The End

    Liked by 4 people

  2. We start out on this crazy epic adventure
A divided party for such a risky reckless venture

    Saying goodbye to friends is always hard
Especially when they neighbours in our backyard

    Off on our own into the great wide open

    Led by our leader who is so outspoken

    Into the massing storm clouds we strike out
On a wing and a prayer without any real clout

    Many wolves circling claiming to be our new friends
Sign on the dotted line and you can reap the dividends
But only if you agree to the orange wolfs demands

    Give me your NHS and we can happily shake hands
Don’t forget as part of the deal you take our chlorinated chicken

    It’s full of good stuff honest and it won’t make you sicken
An epic adventure without any real plan

    Hoping countries are nice to us including Kazakhstan
Even before we leave the lies and untruths are beginning to appear

    While those making hedge fund fortunes continue to sneer

    On any epic adventure you need a swashbuckling hero
Sadly we have no Aragorn to lead us just a bumbling self centred zero

    This adventure of ours has a name called Brexit

    Please excuse me now as I try to leg-it

    Liked by 2 people

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