Good day and welcome to the Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest, #56.
Not to leave anyone adrift, click here for a basic how-to on writing terribly. Bad poetry is not for the faint of heart, though it may be for the feint of art.
Here are this week’s specifics:
- The Topic is an epic poem about a great adventure. Laudable deeds and grand gestures will be your comrades-in-arms, even if your adventure proves to go no further than locating a missing sock.
- These sorts can run rather long, so let’s cap the poem at a Length of 200 words. Yes, Fishman, you may write fewer than 200.
- Rhymes are unnecessary, yet contestants will be awarded bonus points for archaic ones.
- Make it terrible, I say! A great shout must be heard from deep within The Woods of Whispering that Princess Sock has been found, and is begging you to stop singing your ballad. Forever.
- If the Rating must, it may rise to PG-13. Remember that insults from these times moste often ran the gamut of brigand or knave.
You have till 8:00 a.m. MST next Friday (January 31, 2020) to submit a poem.
Use the given form, below, to submit your poem in secret.
To declare your efforts to all, respond in the comments. Enquire further if a pingback does not show by the following day.
Make merry!
Photo credit: Image by Hans Braxmeier from Pixabay
I just may like the picture better than the prompt this week. Hmmmmm…..
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Tapestries are all the rage.
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The Lay of Sir Fallalot and Rufus
‘Twas a tawdry day
When Rufus the Cat went astray
So a knight errant, Sir Fallalot
Was called from 90 miles east of Camelot
In hopes to solve our dismay
I’m sure Fallalot felt itty-bitty
Walking about singing “Here, kitty, kitty”
Through forest, over moor
Traveling from shore to shore
Even visiting every city
Oh, the adventures he had!
Full of ogres and people, good and bad
Deeds to many to count
This lay had too many verses to count!
So I cut most of them, don’t be mad
Fallalot searched for many Years
Finding naught but bitter tears
But cats, being what they are
Rufus really didn’t travel far
And was safely home in just a couple of days, maybe three, but less than four, I’m sure!
The End
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Such a close contender, noble sir! Quite well crafted!
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Thank you, milady. I will soon be on a quest to discover the winner of this prize most terrible.
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Fare thee well!
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Great!! Looking forward to reading it!
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Here is my entry for this weeks challenge 🙂
https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2020/01/26/the-tale-of-the-otiose-man-terrible-poetry/
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Enjoy
https://aprolificpotpourri.wordpress.com/2020/01/26/a-not-exactly-great-adventure-the-weekly-terrible-poetry-contest/
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I’m sure I will!
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Missed the deadline but anyway https://sixcrookedhighwaysblog.wordpress.com/2020/01/28/a-farnarkeling-good-adventure/
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Thanks for pointing that out! 🙂 It published on the 25th; the deadline CAN’T be the 24th.
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Thank you for the clarification on the word count! 🙂 My Herculean effort is here:
https://michaelsfishbowl.com/2020/01/28/the-adventures-of-me-terrible-poetry-contest/
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😀
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We start out on this crazy epic adventure
A divided party for such a risky reckless venture
Saying goodbye to friends is always hard
Especially when they neighbours in our backyard
Off on our own into the great wide open
Led by our leader who is so outspoken
Into the massing storm clouds we strike out
On a wing and a prayer without any real clout
Many wolves circling claiming to be our new friends
Sign on the dotted line and you can reap the dividends
But only if you agree to the orange wolfs demands
Give me your NHS and we can happily shake hands
Don’t forget as part of the deal you take our chlorinated chicken
It’s full of good stuff honest and it won’t make you sicken
An epic adventure without any real plan
Hoping countries are nice to us including Kazakhstan
Even before we leave the lies and untruths are beginning to appear
While those making hedge fund fortunes continue to sneer
On any epic adventure you need a swashbuckling hero
Sadly we have no Aragorn to lead us just a bumbling self centred zero
This adventure of ours has a name called Brexit
Please excuse me now as I try to leg-it
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