Throwback Thursday: Plus-Size Podiatry

From July 21, 2017, another of my favorite silly poems. Because of my apelike toes, I wear the large, unladylike size of 11. This poem is my lament whilst shopping.

Plus-Size Podiatry

O, footwear on that narrow shelf
Daintily curved ’round your arch:
How appealing, how smart you poise
Atop, as if lining to march.

O, footwear, you awaken some
Feminine joy -I’ll confide.
Even in such a tom-boy me,
I squeal a tad deep inside.

O, footwear, I search hungrily
And seize your match in my size.
But, alas! Once again, I find
You, when that large, look like guys’.


©2020 Chelsea Owens

19 thoughts on “Throwback Thursday: Plus-Size Podiatry

  1. Denny K February 7, 2020 / 3:08 am

    I was always told I needed a good base or foundation. The size sighs at the end was a clever touch.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Violet Lentz February 7, 2020 / 5:04 am

    On the positive side, it is probably much harder to get it caught in your mouth…?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. CarolCooks2 February 7, 2020 / 6:06 am

    Ahhhh ….2 of my children have very long toes which I would say add at least a size to their shoes and their feet …..Feet to me are not the nicest part of a body are they unless you are really lucky and I am guessing most are not xx

    Liked by 1 person

  4. RuthScribbles February 7, 2020 / 8:23 am

    Yeah. I need a big box toe. My mom wore an extremely narrow 11 and had a hard time finding shoes to fit. She never wore heels because she was so tall and because of her back and because-well there was some “religious” reason later on.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Peregrine Arc February 7, 2020 / 8:54 am

    I have the same issue finding shoes that fit me. They just can’t keep up with our awesomeness!

    Liked by 1 person

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