The Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest 3/14 – 3/20/2020

Hi. This is the part where I say, “Hi,” and mention that this is our 63rd time around the terrible poetry track.

Here is where I give some directions. I still like our mishmash of sources contest, à la Ern Malley, for a way to create terribly as well. Really, the trick is to write like you’ve never been taught how to do poetry.

Here are the specifics for this week:

  1. Topic: Stockpiling against a worldwide disaster, in limerick form.
  2. Length: A limerick. They’re five lines: AABBA, in anapestic meter.
  3. Rhyming: Yes. In AABBA anapestic meter format.
  4. Make it terrible! Got it? Make it terrible!! The world’s ending, after all!
  5. Rating: PG-13. This is the perfect time to panic …poetically.

You have till 8:00 a.m. MST next Friday (March 20) to submit a poem.

Use the form below if you want to be anonymous for a week.

If not, and for a more social experience, include your poem or a link to it in the comments. Please comment if your pingback link doesn’t show up within a day.

Now’s the perfect time for levity. Give it a whirl.

 

There once was a dino named Ptery
Who loved to eat tree stars and berries.
Then, out of the blue,
Ptery saw rocks that flew;
Now, Ptery is becoming an evolutionary.

77 thoughts on “The Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest 3/14 – 3/20/2020

  1. ellenbest24 March 14, 2020 / 10:47 am

    I pass over to the experts this week as (crona virus aside)
    my limerick ability is nill
    So ‘ill get my fill
    Of reading
    What others
    Leave behind.

    Good luck and stay safe.

    Liked by 6 people

    • Chelsea Owens March 14, 2020 / 11:11 am

      😀 Limericks are fun for kicks. I could only try one in thinking about other disasters; COVID’s too close to home for me right now.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Lisa Bradshaw March 14, 2020 / 11:04 am

    This stock piling is just ridiculous.. life will continue as before.. We can’t stay at home for that long a time.. 😉

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Heather Dawn March 14, 2020 / 12:33 pm

    Ode to Bum Wipe
    By Heather Dawn

    While some are hoarding by the ton,
    Others find no way to wipe their bum.
    Trauma horrifying!
    Dirty bottoms multiplying!
    Someone please, help me find some!!

    This was WAY to much fun. Also, if I win can I make an alias? There’s something deeply unsettling about signing my name to this poem 😂

    Liked by 8 people

    • Doug Jacquier March 14, 2020 / 7:59 pm

      You can’t hide on the interweb, Heather 🙂

      Like

      • Heather Dawn March 14, 2020 / 9:08 pm

        Oh. I thought that was the purpose of social media…hiding behind a screen 😏

        Liked by 2 people

  4. Richmond Road March 14, 2020 / 2:33 pm

    Hours before Armageddon
    Down shopping aisles carefully treadin’
    Just fillin’ my trolly
    Promotin’ the folly
    It’s not tears, it’s just fears that I’m spreadin’

    Liked by 6 people

  5. Richmond Road March 14, 2020 / 2:43 pm

    Or ….
    Apocalypse on the horizon
    Those toilet rolls so tantalizin’
    A prize for the greedy.
    No regard for the needy
    It is mad. Sad. But so unsurprisin’

    Liked by 5 people

    • Doug Jacquier March 14, 2020 / 8:00 pm

      Your last line says it all. Love it.

      Like

    • Chelsea Owens March 20, 2020 / 11:35 pm

      Yours are definitely poems of sober truth, Richmond!

      Like

  6. obbverse March 14, 2020 / 2:51 pm

    Living behind a wall of fear and old rusted survivalist supplies from an old fall-out shelter can only work for a while. The human spirit gets restless, and far worse, bored.
    No Gettin’ Out The House.
    We’re stuck in quarantine for a fortnight,
    Our essential supplies are running light,
    ‘Nuff food and water ain’t our issue,
    We failed to stock a pile of toilet tissue;
    We’ve gone from sittin’ pretty to sittin’ tight.

    Liked by 5 people

    • Chelsea Owens March 20, 2020 / 11:36 pm

      I laughed out loud at your last line! It’s perfect!

      Like

  7. Peregrine Arc March 14, 2020 / 6:04 pm

    Gravity Falls

    There once was a store by the lee
    That was fully stocked for everyone’s needs.
    It had boondaggles, hoozits and comic sans font;
    It had everything a lad or lass could possibly want!
    But alas, it had one failing short: no toliet paper, so I’ll use me shirt.

    Liked by 6 people

  8. Lucy March 14, 2020 / 6:16 pm

    End of the world.

    “It is the end of the world”, someone chokes; there is a lull.
    Stockpiling food for twenty years and toilet paper rolls,
    But we’re all out—what do we do
    Go out to Walmart, brawl with others like a zoo;
    Then leave empty handed—outside, someone is selling them one hundred dollars per half roll!

    Liked by 3 people

  9. Doug Jacquier March 14, 2020 / 7:34 pm

    Here we go into the dark side once more.
    Wine not
    The world is facing disaster
    So stock up on tuna and pasta
    Cache rolls for the loo
    Store sanitising goo
    And ensure your wine cellar’s vaster.

    Paperless society
    Go on, kiss everyone in sight
    Before we all fall down to the blight
    Forget all that tucker
    And give us a pucker
    But clench your other end real tight.

    One flu over the cuckoo’s nest
    There’s a man in DC called The Pres
    He t-wee-ts, he pooh-poohs, and he says
    It’s all something minor
    Like everything from China
    A few less old folk, who cares?

    Liked by 5 people

  10. Jon March 14, 2020 / 7:40 pm

    Whoever could guess we would see
    Fell days we could liken to these?
    When we needed to go
    But we found there was no
    longer a supply of T.P.

    Liked by 5 people

    • Chelsea Owens March 14, 2020 / 8:07 pm

      Hi, Jon! I tried to use toilet paper in my example limerick and nothing came to mind. Good job!

      Liked by 1 person

  11. tnkerr March 15, 2020 / 1:14 pm

    Stockpiling Against the Pandemic, a Limerick

    They panicked the public with talk of the virus
    The butcher was worried – his name was Cyrus
    One night, when the store closed
    He took all the bog rolls
    Went home and confessed to a scroll of papyrus. A scroll of papyrus that he used as his journal and sometimes hid in the linen closet – on the top shelf under a bunch of pillow cases, unless he was keeping it under the bed, or in the garage; but then the police found it and he was arrested, went to court and got sent to jail… not for very long though (it was only toilet paper, after all)

    Liked by 3 people

  12. H.R.R. Gorman March 15, 2020 / 2:39 pm

    This is a good prompt – I can’t resist! Mine will come out later this week, and I’m not leaving it here so you won’t have to spoil it.

    Liked by 3 people

  13. TanGental March 15, 2020 / 4:05 pm

    ‘It’s a risk,’ said the serial hoarder,
    ‘And I might cause civil disorder,
    Buy buying up Frosties,
    And making you crossties,
    So maybe I’ll stick to cornflakes.’

    Liked by 4 people

      • TanGental March 17, 2020 / 2:38 am

        I know Doug, I struggled to get it to fit!! Thanks for reading

        Like

        • Doug Jacquier March 17, 2020 / 5:52 am

          Some humble suggestions:
          ‘It’s a risk,’ said the serial hoarder,
          ‘And I might cause civil disorder,
          By buying up Frosties,
          And making you crossties,
          But I’m sure it’ll suit my daughter.’

          ‘It’s a risk,’ said the serial hoarder,
          ‘And I might cause civil disorder,
          By buying up Frosties,
          And making you crossties,
          So maybe I’ll stick to water.’

          ‘It’s a risk,’ said the serial hoarder,
          ‘And I might cause civil disorder,
          By buying up Frosties,
          And making you crossties,
          I might upset Laura Norder.’

          Liked by 2 people

          • Chelsea Owens March 17, 2020 / 9:12 am

            C’mon, Doug. 😀 It may be that Geoff intentionally did not rhyme -you know, for terrible reasons. 😉

            Like

              • Doug Jacquier March 17, 2020 / 12:26 pm

                PS – You are of course right, Ms O. It’s just that as soon as I hear that word ‘struggle’ I can’t help but try to help.

                Liked by 1 person

          • TanGental March 19, 2020 / 2:22 am

            Ha the man’s rollin’!

            Like

  14. joanne the geek March 16, 2020 / 9:52 am

    There we go:

    I.

    I thought this world crisis was a bit of a caper

    and soon the long lines for goods would taper

    but when I still go the store

    there’s always so many more

    So all I’ve got to eat now is stacks of loo paper

    II.

    Due to the virus Bill hoarded beans

    as stacks of them were within his means

    but after eating so many cans

    his butt alone could power vans

    and he had to frequently wash his jeans

    Joanne Fisher

    Liked by 3 people

    • Lucy March 16, 2020 / 2:46 pm

      Love this! A perfect embodiment of what is happening.

      Liked by 1 person

    • ellenbest24 March 17, 2020 / 9:56 am

      Joanne yes, you done your duty
      you got it a beauty
      A prize in bag for you and aunt betty
      With her secreted pack Of spaghetti.

      Liked by 3 people

  15. ellenbest24 March 17, 2020 / 9:48 am

    There was a a wee lass from Madrass
    Who needed paper to wipe up her ass.
    She looked in a shop ran around the block
    Finally settled on her grandpappies sock.
    Boom boom.

    Liked by 3 people

  16. bereavedandbeingasingleparent March 19, 2020 / 3:23 pm

    Shelves stripped bare including the Gluten free

    Load your boot with every single last frozen pea

    You can keep your 10 year supply of toilet roll
    Fill your trolley with all the Chicken casserole

    But keep your pigging hands off my Yorkshire Tea


    Liked by 2 people

Comments are closed.