The Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest 3/14 – 3/20/2020

Hi. This is the part where I say, “Hi,” and mention that this is our 63rd time around the terrible poetry track.

Here is where I give some directions. I still like our mishmash of sources contest, à la Ern Malley, for a way to create terribly as well. Really, the trick is to write like you’ve never been taught how to do poetry.

Here are the specifics for this week:

  1. Topic: Stockpiling against a worldwide disaster, in limerick form.
  2. Length: A limerick. They’re five lines: AABBA, in anapestic meter.
  3. Rhyming: Yes. In AABBA anapestic meter format.
  4. Make it terrible! Got it? Make it terrible!! The world’s ending, after all!
  5. Rating: PG-13. This is the perfect time to panic …poetically.

You have till 8:00 a.m. MST next Friday (March 20) to submit a poem.

Use the form below if you want to be anonymous for a week.

If not, and for a more social experience, include your poem or a link to it in the comments. Please comment if your pingback link doesn’t show up within a day.

Now’s the perfect time for levity. Give it a whirl.


There once was a dino named Ptery
Who loved to eat tree stars and berries.
Then, out of the blue,
Ptery saw rocks that flew;
Now, Ptery is becoming an evolutionary.

77 thoughts on “The Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest 3/14 – 3/20/2020

  1. Ode to Bum Wipe
    By Heather Dawn

    While some are hoarding by the ton,
    Others find no way to wipe their bum.
    Trauma horrifying!
    Dirty bottoms multiplying!
    Someone please, help me find some!!

    This was WAY to much fun. Also, if I win can I make an alias? There’s something deeply unsettling about signing my name to this poem 😂

    Liked by 8 people

  2. Living behind a wall of fear and old rusted survivalist supplies from an old fall-out shelter can only work for a while. The human spirit gets restless, and far worse, bored.
    No Gettin’ Out The House.
    We’re stuck in quarantine for a fortnight,
    Our essential supplies are running light,
    ‘Nuff food and water ain’t our issue,
    We failed to stock a pile of toilet tissue;
    We’ve gone from sittin’ pretty to sittin’ tight.

    Liked by 5 people

  3. Gravity Falls

    There once was a store by the lee
    That was fully stocked for everyone’s needs.
    It had boondaggles, hoozits and comic sans font;
    It had everything a lad or lass could possibly want!
    But alas, it had one failing short: no toliet paper, so I’ll use me shirt.

    Liked by 6 people

  4. End of the world.

    “It is the end of the world”, someone chokes; there is a lull.
    Stockpiling food for twenty years and toilet paper rolls,
    But we’re all out—what do we do
    Go out to Walmart, brawl with others like a zoo;
    Then leave empty handed—outside, someone is selling them one hundred dollars per half roll!

    Liked by 3 people

  5. Here we go into the dark side once more.
    Wine not
    The world is facing disaster
    So stock up on tuna and pasta
    Cache rolls for the loo
    Store sanitising goo
    And ensure your wine cellar’s vaster.

    Paperless society
    Go on, kiss everyone in sight
    Before we all fall down to the blight
    Forget all that tucker
    And give us a pucker
    But clench your other end real tight.

    One flu over the cuckoo’s nest
    There’s a man in DC called The Pres
    He t-wee-ts, he pooh-poohs, and he says
    It’s all something minor
    Like everything from China
    A few less old folk, who cares?

    Liked by 5 people

  6. Stockpiling Against the Pandemic, a Limerick

    They panicked the public with talk of the virus
    The butcher was worried – his name was Cyrus
    One night, when the store closed
    He took all the bog rolls
    Went home and confessed to a scroll of papyrus. A scroll of papyrus that he used as his journal and sometimes hid in the linen closet – on the top shelf under a bunch of pillow cases, unless he was keeping it under the bed, or in the garage; but then the police found it and he was arrested, went to court and got sent to jail… not for very long though (it was only toilet paper, after all)

    Liked by 3 people

  7. ‘It’s a risk,’ said the serial hoarder,
    ‘And I might cause civil disorder,
    Buy buying up Frosties,
    And making you crossties,
    So maybe I’ll stick to cornflakes.’

    Liked by 4 people

        1. Some humble suggestions:
          ‘It’s a risk,’ said the serial hoarder,
          ‘And I might cause civil disorder,
          By buying up Frosties,
          And making you crossties,
          But I’m sure it’ll suit my daughter.’

          ‘It’s a risk,’ said the serial hoarder,
          ‘And I might cause civil disorder,
          By buying up Frosties,
          And making you crossties,
          So maybe I’ll stick to water.’

          ‘It’s a risk,’ said the serial hoarder,
          ‘And I might cause civil disorder,
          By buying up Frosties,
          And making you crossties,
          I might upset Laura Norder.’

          Liked by 2 people

  8. There we go:


    I thought this world crisis was a bit of a caper

    and soon the long lines for goods would taper

    but when I still go the store

    there’s always so many more

    So all I’ve got to eat now is stacks of loo paper


    Due to the virus Bill hoarded beans

    as stacks of them were within his means

    but after eating so many cans

    his butt alone could power vans

    and he had to frequently wash his jeans

    Joanne Fisher

    Liked by 3 people

  9. Shelves stripped bare including the Gluten free

    Load your boot with every single last frozen pea

    You can keep your 10 year supply of toilet roll
    Fill your trolley with all the Chicken casserole

    But keep your pigging hands off my Yorkshire Tea

    Liked by 2 people

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