The Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest 3/21 – 3/27/2020

Welcome to the Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest! I’m here, you’re here; let’s write some bad poetry while we’re passing the time together…

Close your eyes and imagine what sorts of poetry you wrote when you very first felt the muse to verse. Do cliché terms come to mind? Over-used emotions? Predictable lines of rhyme? Perfect. Encapsulate that, and then read the specifics for this week:

  1. The Topic is birthdays. You all don’t know this, but March and April are our second Christmas around here. Even my birthday is this time of year.
    So, as a birthday gift to me, write a horrible parody of the classic song you sing for someone’s birthday.
  2. The Length will depend on the length of the song you honor.
  3. Songs usually rhyme, so I expect your poem will most likely rhyme as well.
  4. It’s my party, so make it terrible ’cause I want you to. You would cry, too, if I sang, “Happy Birthday to you.”
  5. I’ve got children listening! Keep the Rating a G.

You have till 8:00 a.m. MST next Friday (March 27) to submit a poem.

Use the form below if you want to be anonymous for a week.

If not, and for a more social experience, include your poem or a link to it in the comments. Drop a comment if you try to link back, and it doesn’t show up within a day.

Eat lots of cake, and have fun!

Yep; that’s me. Aren’t I cute?

Photo © Chelsea Owens

27 thoughts on “The Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest 3/21 – 3/27/2020

  1. Susan Zutautas March 21, 2020 / 10:27 am

    We have a birthday song that we sing in our family but there’s one word at the end that isn’t G rated. Maybe i’ll just leave the last word out and everyone can figure it out themselves 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Doug Jacquier March 21, 2020 / 3:35 pm

    All out of terribility this week (some miserable sod has stripped the shelves) so my audience this week is the cutie in your post.

    Happy birthday, as sung by owls

    Hootie, hootie, hoot, hoot
    Hootie, hootie, hoot, hoot
    Hootie, hootie, ‘lil owlet
    Hootie, hootie, hoot, hoot.

    Toilet humour

    Oh, dear, what will we do
    We’re singing to you
    But you’re not here to hear us
    ‘Cos you’re locked in the loo.

    Farmer’s birthday song

    Happy dirt day to you
    It’s raining for you
    And now there’s some sunshine
    Happy dirt day to you.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Chelsea Owens March 27, 2020 / 3:52 pm

      I was *that* close to picking the owls one, Doug! 😀 Great work!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Doug Jacquier March 27, 2020 / 4:52 pm

        Thanks, Chelsea. I think I’ve had my share of wins for a while 😁

        Liked by 1 person

  3. msnyder1970 March 21, 2020 / 5:42 pm

    Crappy birther day to you
    You smell like one hell of a giant half submerged and sticking out of the bowl poo
    Crappiest born day dear Mr. Mattttttttttttthhhhhhhhhhhheeeeewwwwww
    Crappy birther day
    to yooooooooooou
    and many more pellets falling out your pants leg
    now scurry real fast down to the loo

    Liked by 1 person

  4. trentpmcd March 21, 2020 / 6:13 pm

    The same, boring song we always sing. I mean, how can we change it? Well, it is spring of 2020, so there might be ways to change “Happy Birthday to you”….

    Healthy birthday to you!
    Sequestered birthday to you!
    Virus-free birthday dear Chelsea,
    (Hope you have enough TP too!)

    Liked by 4 people

  5. bereavedandbeingasingleparent March 26, 2020 / 4:15 pm

    How many birthdays you have seen

    So many decades since you were a teen

    Happy Birthday Dear Has Been

    Happy Birthday to me, now sod off and pour me a Jim Beam

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Peregrine Arc March 26, 2020 / 7:11 pm

    Hiccup Birthday

    Happy birthday to thee,
    Happy birthday to thee,
    You’ll feel better in the morning
    After a fifth of Jim Beam’s strategic-flask-pouring…

    Hiccup! 🥃

    Liked by 1 person

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