How to Wake a Teenager

The way to get a teenager out of bed is with last night’s pizza. Just lean in to the lifeless lump of blankets atop your teen’s bed, plug your nose against the smell of the room, and whisper the magic words: “Pizza,” “Breakfast.”

You may think they want it fresh, or hot, or crispy. You are wrong.

“Pizza for breakfast” will result in the sudden escaping of a barely-dressed teenager from his blanket cocoon. You’ll find your teen illuminated by the open refrigerator; feet on your best cushions; happily consuming an old, cold, slimy pizza slice.

Yes, for breakfast.

Β©2020 Chelsea Owens, except photo

I had a hankering to answer Carrot Ranch‘s prompt:

April 2, 2020, prompt: In 99 words (no more, no less), write a story that includes pizza. It can be an original pizza pie (or slice) or something pizza-like. Go where the prompt leads!

Respond by April 7, 2020. Use the comment section… to share, read, and be social. You may leave a link, pingback, or story in the comments. If you want to be published in the weekly collection, please use the form.Β  Rules & Guidelines.

44 thoughts on “How to Wake a Teenager

  1. ellenbest24 April 6, 2020 / 1:07 am

    Yes I remember well, that bedroom smell. The cold food stuck firmly to plates you thought were long ago lost. A great response, the ranchers will enjoy. You even captured the smell.

    Liked by 1 person

      • ellenbest24 April 6, 2020 / 4:37 am

        Good! Though I can’t say bringing up three teens was always fun πŸ€£πŸ™„

        Liked by 1 person

        • Chelsea Owens April 6, 2020 / 4:40 am

          No, no. You’re right. That part’s rather difficult some days.


  2. masercot April 6, 2020 / 3:01 am

    My son grosses me out when he eats it cold. I’ll make two pizzas while he’s at work and when he gets back, he just starts eating it out of the bag in the refrigerator.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chelsea Owens April 6, 2020 / 4:38 am

      πŸ˜€ I often thought certain brands tasted better cold, when I was a teenager.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Chelsea Owens April 6, 2020 / 4:39 am

      Some things are just classic breakfast foods, I suppose. πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

    • Chelsea Owens April 6, 2020 / 5:22 am

      I didn’t mind as a teenager, but I now prefer it after only one baking.


  3. Norah April 6, 2020 / 5:27 am

    I’m glad you followed your hankering. You done good!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Jules April 6, 2020 / 7:08 am

    I remember one time I’d ask one of my ‘teens’ to clean his room. Stuffed a box and put it in the attic…
    Years later I went through that box – seems nothing in there was anything they’d miss… but there was a package of unopened ‘Yodels’ or the like… Sometimes it’s just best to close the door… and pick more important battles. However when you start missing the household dishes and silverware… within their domains…

    They’ll come a time when (and maybe it is now) that we can laugh at our children… And really there does come a time when they actually ‘turn around’ and say you were smart or right. And then all a parent can do is heave a big sigh of relief that maybe we actually did something right πŸ˜€

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chelsea Owens April 6, 2020 / 8:47 am

      What a great story! I remember Erma Bombeck writing several funny stories about teens’ rooms and disappearing property!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. H.R.R. Gorman April 6, 2020 / 10:39 am

    Replace “teenager” with “zombie” and I’m not sure the story changes much.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. mymindlessdrivel April 6, 2020 / 7:56 pm

    I think my younger brother would have preferred I used your method than mine. I would place one hand on his hip and one hand on his shoulder and bounce him awake. Luckily freshly awakened people can’t run very fast…

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chelsea Owens April 7, 2020 / 12:20 am

      πŸ˜€ I used your method on my sister, then leapt back to avoid her flailing in response.


      • mymindlessdrivel April 7, 2020 / 4:46 pm

        Ah, great minds!

        Liked by 1 person

  7. BriN May 14, 2020 / 11:23 pm

    Okay this works for me like fireπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ 100% β€πŸ™ŒπŸ˜‚

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Ciscas August 29, 2020 / 8:12 am

    For sure this is hard…if I don’t wake my daughter, she can sleep until noon, not even a pizza will make her wake up.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chelsea Owens August 29, 2020 / 8:24 am

      πŸ˜€ I’m beginning to see why my mother opted for a spray bottle of cold water.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Ciscas August 29, 2020 / 9:02 am

        Haha… I also threatened Making their beds a pool of anytime I call, to they don’t know what is in store for them

        Liked by 1 person

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