4/9/2020 of COVID-19 Home Life

What kind of joke does the CDC recommend?
-Inside jokes

We all got out of the house today, then out of the neighborhood, then down the road, then up to the grocery pickup. I used my cellular telephone device to contact the waiting store associates.

“Please open your hatch to maintain social distance as part of our COVID-19 measures,” the man on the other end of the phone said.

He and I did a little back-and-forth of which items were out of stock and whether I could get something else for them. They had no chicken breasts, egg roll wrappers, mushrooms, or ground beef. Guess we’re not having egg rolls or hamburgers. Wait -he thought the butcher had brought out some more meat since they pulled my order and would check on the beef…

A nice woman worker dumped everything in the back of my minivan, said a cheerful, “Hi,” to my children in the backseat who were about one foot away, and pushed the button to close the hatch. Maybe she planned to wash her hands once she got back inside, much like the Harmon’s cashier last week who used a mini washing station after the guy in front of me paid in cash.

Once we returned home to unload, we discovered a ratio of one grocery sack per item. We also discovered there was no whole ham. They had the flimsy-sliced sandwich variety, so maybe we’ll try to bake that for Easter Sunday.

The most annoying aspect of this whole ‘shopping trip’ apart from the week-ahead wait, the inability to specify how ripe I like my bananas, and whether two one-pound packages of ground beef could count as one two-pound package; was the quality of the graying steak. Yes, it’s grocery store steak. But, today is the last birthday of our Birthday Season and we wanted our $30 of meat to be edible for birthday dinner…

Coronavirus-Quarantine-Funny-JokesI swiped this from BoredPanda.

Because home life isn’t really so bad. We’re not the sort to socialize often. We plan one family trip a year, usually involving a visit to a relative or destination that’s about a day’s drive away. Being raised LDS, Kev and I have a lot of children and a month’s supply of food storage* to feed them. I know how to cook and bake. The boys all like board games, computer games, reading, and impromptu wrestling.

The annoyance is the sudden reminders that something is different.

It’s driving down the street and stopping to talk to my overly-generous neighbor who can sew, then having her offer two homemade masks with instructions on how to remove one after going out in public.

It’s kids on bicycles tailed by anxious parents, all veering out of the way of oncoming pedestrian traffic.

It’s all the signs at the stores about staying away from each other and new hours of operation.

It’s doing a Google search for the boys’ doctor’s office and having Google advise me regarding COVID symptoms.


It’s planning birthdays with just us, and with a week-ahead grocery order.

It’s that niggling feeling that I need to remember a forgotten thing, like closing the garage or turning the stove off or setting the garbage out on Wednesdays.

Since I’ve determined to control what I can control, I need to pull that niggling part to the fore when I leave the house. I need to only wave at the neighbor kids. I ought to wipe down our incoming packages. I shouldn’t drop in on my friends or relatives.

But I also do not need to get up and drive the children to school, back from school, back from school again, and back from school again. Karate class is online, so no more driving to and from that studio. No more incessant Costco trips, and fewer post office runs…

Speaking of, I offered outgoing dice order packages to our local, white-haired, blue-eyed postman. He handed me a new bin for tomorrow’s orders, then said, “Wait. I need to decontaminate it.” Pulling it back, he made a grand gesture of brushing something unseen from the side before offering it again.

“You’re sure casual about it, considering you go to everyone’s houses,” I noted.

He shrugged and said, “It’s only a matter of time…”

I hope not. He’s a really nice guy. When we’re not social-distancing, I’ll make him a plate of cookies.


Photo by Lisa Fotios on Pexels.com


Last one:

What goes great with a Corona virus?
-Lime disease


©2020 Chelsea Owens

*It’ll be dry black beans and five-year-old Limas, but they’ll survive.


36 thoughts on “4/9/2020 of COVID-19 Home Life

  1. They must have put that steak in your bag at the beginning of the week…. Luckily our grocery stores are still letting people in, but they are only letting so many shoppers at a time in and everyone else waits in line, six feet apart. Oh, something you wrote reminds me: my wife has a cupboard with about a months worth a dry goods that she calls our “Mormon Cupboard”… I know, I should tell her to call it our “LDS Cupboard” instead 😉

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yes, please be more politically-correct. 😀

      Our stores are still allowing people in as well, with the limit on how many per square feet, but the county has a “stay home unless it’s essential” edict in place. We’re *supposed* to be doing stuff like grocery pickup.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. heh, that’s always been my reservation about grocery shopping online – not getting to choose things for myself. Quality, best price, looking for damaged cans, etc. I don’t necessarily want/like having to shop for groceries, but I prefer it to settling for what someone else would get for me. So far, I’ve managed to avoid it. But, yeah, the hard part is realizing you can’t do ‘business as usual’ in your life. Everything we do requires so much more thought and effort than it did before.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. It seems you are coping better than most, Chelsea. There are mixed messages everywhere, and your “control what you can philosophy” sounds like the best approach.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Ha ha, but if I had a quid for every corona beer gag, I’d have enough for a six pack by now.
    The first time was a week before lockdown here and we went to a shindig in the village hall and the raffle prize was a pack of corona.

    Online karake? Is your screen insured against martial arts damage. 😀

    Liked by 2 people

    1. The funny thing is that I don’t drink, so that last joke had me staring at it and mouthing “lime disease” in such confusion! 😀

      So far, he’s mostly damaged boxes downstairs. It’s made me want a punching sack or dummy guy like they have in their studio!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. There’s a generation of people whose life choices and expectations are being shaped by what we are going through right now. I’m not sure any of will be the same. But I do look forward to the return of some of the activities I took for granted.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Can relate to the lack of ham and choice of bananas. We are hamless this Easter as well. Though my daughter is going to be searching for us on Saturday. Bananas were ripe, so they will last for a day or two and then my wife will be making banana muffins. Since school and business closures, we have noticed a large number of families with young children walking by our front door. About ten years ago our grandchildren were in to build a bear and my wife and daughter would indulge their tastes. My wife built her own collection and has about ten of them. I planned to decorate our driveway with these dressed up bears, in various poses, in the hope that the kids walking by would get a kick out of it. Unfortunately, the weather is not cooperating, cold and very windy.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Ugh…I HATE ordering groceries online. We can still go in the stores, thankfully. I found online ordering to be terrible at the best of times. Maybe I’m just a control freak!

    Very funny jokes, too. 😊

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Here when you can book a delivery collection or even rarer a home delivery then it’s become a bit of a lottery on what you get, how ripe or damaged it is and who long it has before the expiry date hits. It’s certainly made me more aware of what we eat and how we make each bit count. My freezer is rammed full with left overs. Look after yourself.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. That’s what we’re experiencing, too. I even ordered a chest freezer a month ago when things first got scary. When I called on it, the woman said ALL APPLIANCE COMPANIES are backordered till July.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I should have had my brakes replaced 2 months ago but they are still waiting on parts. They said until things get moving again from Asia then it’s unlikely the parts will become available. Surely Asia will have to meet its own requirements for products first then export to us. Must admit with no money coming in at present not having a car bill is just grand…

        Liked by 1 person

  9. I’d go nuts having somebody put my groceries together. Mostly because it’d be 2 parts of me wanting to be in control and 3 parts anxiety about being judged…

    I hope the last of the birthday season goes well!

    Liked by 2 people

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