Introducing: The Weekly Hilarity Contest

Farewell, farewell, to our old friend, the Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest! You had a good run. You may have given someone a good run… Once the world became as jaded and grim as my mind-corners, I decided the sarcasm of terribility was not the best approach. Instead, I opted for a new angle: humor.

-Not that our terrible poems weren’t funny. This is just an acknowledgement that happiness and laughter are the direction we wish to intentionally head.

  • Write a short story, poem, song, or really long sentence about Birds.
  • Don’t make it too long. We’ve got real life to get back to.
  • The goal is to make me, the judge LAUGH ALOUD. Whoever tickles my funny bone the best will be crowned champion.
  • As a tip, I generally think and live in a G-rated world. I don’t find crude or profane things very humorous.

You have till 10:00 a.m. MDT next Friday (May 8) to enter.

Use the form, below, if you want. Leave a comment if you roll that way. Definitely leave a comment if your pingback doesn’t show up in a day or your entry doesn’t get listed when the contest is over -seriously, I just went back through my e-mails and found a few, poor, terrible poems lost in the shuffle.

Let’s all have a good laugh!

white and gray bird on the bag of brown and black pig swimming on the beach during daytime
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

84 thoughts on “Introducing: The Weekly Hilarity Contest

  1. D. Avery @shiftnshake May 2, 2020 / 10:13 am

    Perhaps that bird is coaching the swimming pig to try flight.
    Good luck with this endeavor. I can not imagine how tough it must have been to judge terrible poetry. Perhaps this will be easier, a tell tale guffaw clinching it. It’s good to see that as one thing ended another began. Ever forward.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Peregrine Arc May 2, 2020 / 10:51 am

    Well I’m in line to donate blood and there’s some British show on out of my visual range all about professional weightlifting. It’s very quiet for awhile with British accented voices polite describing the weights, etc in hushed, posh tones followed by INTENSE YELLING AS THE ATHLETES PICK UP THE KGS OF WEIGHT! Oh my goodness. I’m done lol. 😂😂😂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. D. Wallace Peach May 2, 2020 / 12:54 pm

    What a great idea! I’m glad you started another challenge. Terrible I can do, but with humor, my mind goes instantly blank! If inspiration strikes, I’ll be there. Either way, I’ll definitely be by to read. Can’t wait to laugh. Good luck!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. obbverse May 2, 2020 / 4:44 pm

    Back with a smile. I like the idea of anything for a laugh, it offers so many more different styles and formats than bad poetry. Although… wheelhouse, for some of us… Caption for photo: ‘Slothful seagull in hog heaven?’

    Liked by 2 people

    • Chelsea Owens May 2, 2020 / 6:12 pm

      😀 I do intend to throw captioning into the mix some weeks.

      Like

  5. Doug Jacquier May 2, 2020 / 4:53 pm

    A slightly different approach, taking the photo as a prompt.

    The bird-hog conversation
    Bird: … and you’re out here swimming because …?
    Hog: It’s Thursday.
    Bird: How do you know what day it is?
    Hog: Because I always go swimming on Thursdays.

    Liked by 3 people

  6. Deb Whittam May 2, 2020 / 6:00 pm

    I’m not really a funny person but I’ll give it a shot. You need Charles for this one.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Ian Kay May 3, 2020 / 3:26 am

    Oh, we can’t do funny-hilarious, so we’ll try silly instead,

    The Long Sentence Bird*

    Frankie the Parrot is
    facing thirty-three years
    and that’s an awfully
    long sentence for a bird.

    You ought not to have done
    the monkey nut heist
    explained his honour,
    Bubbles the Bonobo
    in summing up.

    *did you know “bird” has different meanings in the UK, one being serving a prison sentence? also “porridge” and “stretch” mean the same. I don’t know if it’s the same in the US.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Doug Jacquier May 3, 2020 / 7:19 am

      I’m surprised that you didn’t mention that in the UK ‘bird’ also means a young woman 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      • Ian Kay May 3, 2020 / 10:07 am

        It crossed my mind, Doug, though I don’t hear it used much these days. 🙂

        Like

    • Peregrine Arc May 4, 2020 / 12:24 pm

      I don’t think it’s the same meaning in the US, but I think bird and prisons might have some word relation (unless I’m just thinking of the movie Birdman of Alcatraz…)

      Thanks for sharing and best of luck!

      Liked by 1 person

  8. dumbestblogger May 3, 2020 / 7:11 pm

    I’ve heard a story about a bird who flew. I don’t know anything about that. However, as I was driving down a back road the other a barely distinguishable animal scurrying across it forced me to come to a complete stop in order to avoid hitting it. Upon closer examination I realized what kind of animal it was. I do not know why the chicken crossed the road, but I can wholeheartedly assure you that it did.

    Liked by 3 people

  9. johnlmalone May 3, 2020 / 10:28 pm

    great idea, Chelsea. I’ve already submitted one to the contest: it’s a little wonky but it gets there in the end 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Peregrine Arc May 4, 2020 / 12:26 pm

    Here’s my entry, a shorty but goodie:

    “It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s…a case of a bird brained optometrist giving me the wrong prescription.”

    Badum, kschhh…🥁

    Liked by 2 people

  11. S. Chersis May 4, 2020 / 9:18 pm

    Oh good! I was a little worried when I saw the closure of the poetry contest was something less cheery. Looking forward to the results! Perhaps I will partake in this one day…

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chelsea Owens May 4, 2020 / 10:38 pm

      I hope you do! I intend to do different angles, like captioning a photo or substituting lyrics.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. writerinretrospect May 4, 2020 / 11:18 pm

    The Aspirational Seagull

    There once was a bird, was a seagull
    He tried very hard to be evil
    But he wound up being like Smeagol
    And now gets his fish from a cave pool.

    Liked by 2 people

  13. Heather Dawn May 5, 2020 / 7:29 am

    If I was a disgusting sky rat, undeserving of my graceful stance above the earth, what better hobby than to poop white sludge upon those annoying dwellers upon my turf!

    Liked by 2 people

  14. obbverse May 5, 2020 / 3:33 pm

    Flight Risk.

    I see the ranks of homing pigeons swoop and soar,
    There’s gotta be a flocking thousand of ’em or more,
    Wheeling o’erhead, hovering high above the low building I let,
    Leasing the ‘penthouse’ out too cheap is one deep abiding regret.

    I was glad to sign the lease for that seedy top floor-
    A two-year ironclad deal’s what a landlord prays for,
    But concern is building due to his installing a pigeon coop aloft,
    It’s not the constant cooing from on high, more the elevated waft.

    The whirring of the wings above is impossible to ignore,
    The sourness of signing off on a bad deal sticks in my craw,
    As birds keep landing on my landing my dim view’s turning dark,
    Its not all their swooping but their pooping that’s leaving its mark.

    Liked by 2 people

  15. bereavedandbeingasingleparent May 7, 2020 / 2:43 pm

    This sort of doesn’t work without the pigeon photos and the stuff about the hidden UK PM reference. And it fails the G Rating. So basically it’s got nothing going for it really.

    Blimey what are those birds doing

    Oh it’s such seedy x-rated viewing
    Really, on our back garden fence as well
    Is it not behaviour best saved for a seedy motel
    Surely they are spoiling our gorgeous farmland view
    Interrupting our peaceful world with something so taboo

    Spending every day exchanging birdie pleasantries
    Always trying to make so many more feathered babies

    Fooling around as if there is no tomorrow

    Oh having such fun and never showing any sorrow

    One overriding thought about those feathered huggers

    Lashings of rummy pumpy, those lucky little buggers

    Liked by 1 person

  16. sharonbernackibooks August 21, 2020 / 12:15 pm

    Love the humor.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chelsea Owens August 21, 2020 / 7:18 pm

      Thanks! You’ll have to come back in September, when I plan to reinstate humorous poetry.

      Liked by 1 person

      • sharonbernackibooks August 22, 2020 / 6:54 am

        I’m looking forward to it. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

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