The A Mused Poetry Contest 9/26 – 10/2/2020

Chel Owens

Hey! It’s the A Mused Poetry Contest! Make a gaffe, cause a laugh!

Here are the specifics for this week’s contest:

  1. The Theme is commercials: try radio, newspaper, halftime show, or a high-pressured letter you get in the mail.
  2. The Length needs to run between 5 and 155 words.
  3. Rhyming is at the discretion of the poet (you).
  4. The Rating can be PG-13 (though I’m not fond of cussing). Hear that, E??
  5. MAKE US LAUGH. I wanna hear your ditty passed around online meetings, morning talk shows, and incessant chatting from children at the dinner table.

You have till 10:00 a.m. MST next Friday (October 2) to submit a poem.

Use the form below to stay anonymous for a week.

Otherwise, for a more social experience, include your poem or a link to it in the comments. Drop a comment if you try to link back and it doesn’t show up within a day.

Have fun!

—–

©2020 Chel Owens
Video ©Youtube

38 thoughts on “The A Mused Poetry Contest 9/26 – 10/2/2020”

  1. Hey Mom and Dad!
    Don’t be sad
    For we have the newest kiddy fad!

    You know the toy
    A plastic bit of joy
    Wanted by every girl and boy?

    You need a pair
    But they are dear
    And you can’t find ‘em anywhere

    A rumor of a stash
    Causes teeth to gnash
    And a million parents show up in a flash

    Stand in a line
    Hope for a find
    But the last sold at nine

    Well, come in a trice
    We have some, that’s nice,
    And are only charging ten times the price!

    So, don’t take a nap
    Came ay-sap
    And buy some grossly overpriced crop!

    Liked by 4 people

  2. Perkup: turns molehills into mountains

    Are you flaccid and sad?
    Perkup will make glad

    Lost your youthful zeal?
    Perkup makes your dreams real

    Confidence taken a dent?
    Take Perkup and turn the smallest event
    With the help of our latest fix
    Into your very own Grand Prix!

    Liked by 4 people

  4. Help! I’m being eaten by alligators!
    Good thing I have Flex-Seal!
    I’m going to make an alligator proof cage with it!
    It sets up instantly!
    It’s amazing!
    Oops! The pirhannas were a little bit fast!

    Liked by 5 people

  5. Try our Thanksgiving Stuffing

    We’re plucking the turkey
    in preparation for Thanksgiving.
    Pluck the turkey!
    Pluck the turkey!
    Sing as you pluck, O my three children!
    I just wish the turkey would keep still.

    We’re stuffing the turkey
    in preparation for Thanksgiving.
    Stuff the turkey!
    Stuff the turkey!
    Sing as you stuff, O my three children!
    I just wish we’d taken the guts out first.

    We’re roasting the turkey
    in preparation for Thanksgiving.
    Roast the turkey!
    Roast the turkey!
    Sing as you roast, O my two children!

    Well, just shut up and pretend it’s a turkey.

    Liked by 4 people

  7. Book now
    Before it’s too late
    Trip of a lifetime
    Heaven can’t wait.

    Masks are provided
    You must stay in your seat
    Can’t use the loo
    And there’s nothing to eat.

    The duration is a fortnight
    But might stretch to a month
    Quarantine darlings
    Read the small print in the bunff.

    I’m Rona fly me!

    Liked by 2 people

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  14. Permanent Vacation.
    (To be breathily intoned by some honey-voiced ingenue in a pursers uniform?)

    ‘When vacation time rolls around
    Don’t stay safe and home bound,
    Let us wash all life’s cares away
    On a Sunny Cruise ship holiday.’

    ‘Our crew is here, at your pleasure
    To make your cruise a life of leisure,
    Every last desire the crew anticipates,
    Once you’re on board, Paradise awaits.’

    ‘If it’s high spirits you enjoy sinking
    We set the bar when it comes to drinking,
    And it’s always happy hour on the high seas,
    Plus, our rock bottom prices are sure to please.’

    ‘Enjoy our fine company and our finer buffet,
    And it’s All You Can Eat, so go re-stack your tray,
    An endless smorgasbord, go and recharge your cup,
    Finally, our rich desserts- customers always bring it up.’

    ‘However, should we sail into covid nineteen
    We DON’T demand everyone stay in quarantine,
    One dark night we’ll slip into some backwater port;
    To remain out here, all at sea- could be our last resort.’

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Here is my advertisement for your perusal.

    If, you have an Aunty, that makes up stories,
    Or, an uncle Ernie you despise,
    The ones that should know better,
    But fill the world with wicked Lies.

    Buy them the under garments
    We sell,
    you really will get no better,
    They do what it says in the advert
    Down to the letter.

    They will not make them look delightful
    Like a pretty Christmas sweater,
    Or turn them in to entrepreneurs
    Or the newest “Go getter.”

    These under pants will make them
    Nicer,
    They will make them people to admire,
    Because these knickers will cure their
    Prepensity to be a liar.
    For, Our Pants,
    truly will,
    Catch On Fire!

    Liked by 1 person

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