The A Mused Poetry Contest 11/14 – 12/11/2020

‘Tis the season for Christmas, and you know what that means: Christmas cards and newsletters. Although many opt for a family picture or online update these days, I still receive (and send) the occasional list of amazing things my family and I did all year long.

And it’s annoying. On that note:

  1. The Theme is the annoying Christmas newsletter.
  2. Although I wish these ballads were shorter, Length has to be 250 words (or, please, fewer) to reflect the true, proud writer’s desire to brag.
  3. Rhyming will happen if you choose the obligatory Night Before Christmas spinoff, but is completely optional this holiday season.
  4. These are family-friendly publications, so I’m reining in the Rating at PGish. You know what I mean.
  5. Please, make us laugh. As we pour over yet another photo posed amidst clouds in an autumn forest and read just how many accolades the family dog earned, bring us laughter before we open the holiday egg nog early…

You have till 10:00 a.m. MST next MONTH (December 11) to submit a poem.

Use the form, below, to remain anonymous until results are posted.

Otherwise, include your poem or a link to it in the comments. Leave a comment if your link-back doesn’t show up by midnight of the day you create it.


Merry? Christmas!

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©2020 Chel Owens

28 thoughts on “The A Mused Poetry Contest 11/14 – 12/11/2020

  1. Yes, I get those: Junior just got a scholarship to Harvard and Missy won the World’s Jr. High Smartest Person in the Universe award. It seems everyone does better than us, at least those who send their lists! Oh well, I assume I’ll get one like this this yer:

    Friends and Foe
    A few words
    For you to know
    It was a year of plenty
    This 2020
    It started slow,
    But our fortunes continued to grow!
    In March we sold TeePee
    Each roll, ten and fifty!
    In April a boom
    Of selling lessons on Zoom
    In May, for a price
    We sent people to places quite nice
    Each month we made more and more
    Suckering both the rich and the poor
    Cashing in on Covid fears
    And rumors made in election years
    Our fortunes soared
    As people hid, quite bored
    Trusting their luck
    Sending us buck after buck
    So you may moan
    About being alone
    About work being closed
    And say the world is hosed
    But I disagree
    It was a great year, at least for me!
    So in my holiday note
    This year I’m gonna to gloat
    For I am on the good list
    For making money hand over fist
    And sleep on bags of gold
    From all of the garbage I sold
    But don’t crawl to me
    Looking for a present
    Under your tree
    I said I was smart
    Not that I have a heart
    There’ll be no money sent
    Begged borrowed or lent
    But don’t take it so hard
    I did send you this card!
    Merry Christmas (at least for me 😉 )!

    Liked by 4 people

  2. Mabilene’s Christmas newsletter

    Merry Christmas to all of you’s,
    time for our annual catch up and news
    We know you always look forward to this
    so everyone here sends a big kiss. XXX

    Hubby Dwayne knows it was really dumb-crazy
    but since the lockdown he’s been a bit hazy.
    Wore a mask to the bank and passed the teller a note;
    six months in prison, that’s all he wrote.

    Our eldest, Billie-Jean, she’s doing so well,
    especially since she learned how to write and to spell.
    She’s a Social Influencer now, raking in the money.
    Praise the Lord, it’s the land of milk and honey.

    Our boy, Nathaniel, is the world’s greatest nerd;
    want a new app and you just say the word.
    His latest is a thing of digital beauty;
    Sort of a cross between the Bible and Call of Duty.

    Young Charlene, well, she tries really hard
    she’ll never be a whizz-kid or any sort of bard;
    but I have to tell you she’s making considerable progress
    on her ultimate goal: Member of Congress.

    Old Mabel, our dog, she keeps pumping out litters
    despite her bouts with the mange and the skitters.
    Last winter we sold one to a damned fool yuppie;
    it’s now in dog heaven, that poor slush puppie.

    I’ll sign off now and wish ‘Season’s Greetings’
    (I don’t want to miss one of my AA meetings).
    Love to you all and always remember
    I’ll be back in your mailbox this time next December.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Christmas Catch All Ya’ll Up.

    Hi guys, it’s time to keep ya’ll in the know,
    With the festivities near we’ve horns to blow,
    Folks keep sayin’ ‘times is hard, the ‘conomy’s shot’
    But we’re happy as clams ’cause we got the lot.

    My Jimbo’s gone up yet another pay grade-
    He must’ve sold every pickup truck Jeep ever made,
    The twins is gettin’ schooled and they’s top o’ the class,
    We’re hopin,’ with luck, they’ll dredge up a C and pass!

    Our Cody won the Jumbo Bear at the tri-county fair,
    Took out them three ducks with two rounds to spare,
    At the bake off my apple pie took out first prize as well;
    The only blue ribbon you’ll see on this Southern belle.

    Our Jolene’s playing Mother Mary in the nativity play,
    Their damn Rodeo ain’t playing Joseph if I have my way,
    No mistletoe kisses a’tween Jo Hatfield and Rodeo McCoy-
    I sez ‘Jolene, you don’t have no truck with that bad boy.’

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Christmas Newsletter

    Larry’s Earth is on the Moon.
    Greg’s might be on Mars.
    Lulu’s livid with the news.
    Sue shoots shooting stars.

    I’m the final one who’s sane.
    At least, I can pretend.
    I have no time to rush away,
    So Merry Christmas, friend!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. This was so fun I loved it , here’s mine.i am afraid it a few words over but it was so fun to do.

    The Christmas Email 🎄

    T’was the night before Christmas, I’m peeling the sprouts,
    I’ll regret it tomorrow of that I’ve no doubts.
    I’ve spent hours wrapping pressies for under the tree.
    Everyones socially distancing so it’s up to me.
    This year’s been a bummer so I thought let’s spread the joy
    (cough) Here’s our news which is bound to annoy.
    Let’s start with grandpa well he’s loosing the plot
    he’s been stalking the estate quite a lot.
    Since they said he can drive no more,
    he been acting like a bear with a head that’s sore!
    Hubby has been busy washing hands and making masks
    when people get too close he takes them to task.
    Jerome, Cathy and Hermione are fine,
    in and out of school all the time.
    Fighting over computer, laptop and tablet …all of them mine!
    We’ve all had to isolate at different times ,
    we’ve done as we’re told to avoid fines!
    We’re all sick of watching the neighbours breaking the rules.
    How will we ever be rid of this Covid surrounded by fools.
    The chickens stopped laying last week,
    the hamsters are missing we’ve not heard a squeak.
    We’ve had our fair share of hospitals and Ambulances too.
    But to fair in lockdown there’s not much to do!
    My goodness is that the time,
    I must get this sent then open the wine.
    Merry Christmas to you and you bubble,
    let’s hope 2021 is less trouble.
    The Vaccine is coming we’ll all grow two heads..I don’t really care, in 100years we’ll all be dead!

    Liked by 1 person

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