The A Mused Poetry Contest 3/16/2021 – 4/16/2021

It’s definitely time for another A Mused Poetry Contest. I hope you’ve been honing your poetic skills for this one…

  1. The Theme is a catchy jingle for a product that really should not be sold to the general public.
  2. Commercials pay by air time used, so keep your Length short, sweet, and repeat-able.
  3. Rhyming is optional, but recommended. The most memorable ditties usually do.
  4. This isn’t PPV, so aim for a Rating of TV-PG or cleaner.
  5. The most important angle here, chairmen of the board, is humor. What makes our audience laugh? What will make them snort up their diet soft drink all over their luxury sofa and soil that designer pair of celebrity-endorsed trousers? Hmmm?

You have till 10:00 a.m. MST next MONTH (April 16) to submit a poem. I’ll try to remember, this time.

Use the form, below, to remain anonymous until results are posted.

Otherwise, include your poem in the comments, link to it in the comments, or leave a note that you’ve written one and stuck it on your own site in the comments. You cannot simply link back to my post because WordPress is stupid and I will not receive it.


I’ve set the date
Now I can’t wait.
Write us a poem,
Then you’ll feel great!

Try to make your commercial more interesting than whatever they just watched.
Photo by Ketut Subiyanto on


©2021 Chel Owens

22 thoughts on “The A Mused Poetry Contest 3/16/2021 – 4/16/2021

  1. Cute, cuddly Gremlins
    Get your fluffy Gremlins
    They will eat you up
    with their warmth
    And then look with
    mischievous eyes
    And sympathise with
    your cries
    Cute, cuddly Gremlins
    Soft, furry Gremlins

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Only with our sweet soap
        Full of promise and hope
        Made of potent ingredients
        that may keep them obedient

        Not tested and tried. Purchase anyway to avail 5% off.

        Liked by 1 person

      1. Lap cushions, lap cushions,
        they don’t look half bad
        put them on your fronts
        if they make your backs mad!
        (voiceover: matching colors and fabrics are available!)

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Are your children of an age
    That’s driving you insane?
    Doing things you used to do
    Things you can’t explain?
    Reacting to those hormones
    That you wish that you still had
    Taking an eternity
    To traverse a passing fad?
    The solution is so simple
    Let us take them off your hands
    Don’t let them anymore disturb
    Your sweet retirement plans
    Let us do the dirty work
    Let us make the golden rules
    Enrol your little darlings
    In our exclusive boarding schools

    ($100,000 per annum. No questions asked. Or answered)

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Three short ones for high rotation on Radio Absurd.

    Camptown Ice-cream

    What’s the best ice-cream in town?
    Rhubarb, rhubarb.
    Forget that fat old chocolate chip
    Rhubarb, rhubarb
    Make you run all night, make you run all day
    When Mama says ‘what flavour?’, kids say everyday
    Rhubarb, rhubarb!

    The newest free range breakfast food

    Hungry, need a fix?
    Weedy Bix!
    Just eat five or six
    Weedy Bix!
    eating green’s so easy
    Weedy Bix!
    Weedy, weedy, Weedy Bix.

    Da doo rum gum

    When you’re at a party and the bar is dry
    Chew new Booze Gum, chew new Booze Gum
    You’ll be feeling tipsy in the blink of an eye
    Chew new Booze Gum, chew new Booze Gum
    Comes in gin, rum, whiskey and rye
    Chew new Booze Bum, chew new Booze Gum

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Non Voyage.

    ‘Before you book that holiday apartment,
    A message from the State Department-
    Forget stayin’ in Paree, forgo Rome,
    Let’s not fly, let’s stay home’

    Madam, your passport has expired,
    New detailed documentation is required,
    We now demand, after your vacation
    Proof positive of a Covid vaccination.

    ‘Before you take that holiday apartment
    Please listen to the State Department,
    Pass on Paris, nix to Rome
    Don’t spread your wings, stay home.’

    Before you’re welcome back from overseas
    W’ll check you out for that spread disease,
    We can’t just freely stamp that new passport,
    Why risk making a happy holiday your last resort?

    Liked by 1 person

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