I am a Business Showerer.
The instant I’ve guaranteed ten full minutes of distraction for my cute, little distractions; I’m in flight-control checklist mode:
✔Shower curtain, in position
✔Hot water, started
✔Bar soap, on rack
✔Towel, ready for reentry
✔Water temperature, adjusted
✔Hair, secured with safety loop
And … go, go, go!
My husband is a Pleasure Showerer.
The hour or so after he’s leisurely caught up on cell phone heralds from his porcelain throne; he’s in contemplative mode:
Tap water released
Phone, atop muddled towels
Awaits naked return
Meanwhile, I take bets on whether the hot water will run out before he does.
A Freudian voyeur can analyze our freshly-scrubbed psyches by studying our bars of soap: mine is always a flat, overworked strip; his, a perfectly-caressed quenelle.
©2021 Chel Owens