Business or Pleasure?

I am a Business Showerer.

The instant I’ve guaranteed ten full minutes of distraction for my cute, little distractions; I’m in flight-control checklist mode:

✔Shower curtain, in position
✔Nozzle, adjusted
✔Hot water, started
✔Shampoo, secured
✔Bar soap, on rack
✔Razor, located
✔Towel, ready for reentry
✔Water temperature, adjusted
✔Hair, secured with safety loop

And … go, go, go!

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

My husband is a Pleasure Showerer.

The hour or so after he’s leisurely caught up on cell phone heralds from his porcelain throne; he’s in contemplative mode:

Tap water released
Phone, atop muddled towels
Awaits naked return

Meanwhile, I take bets on whether the hot water will run out before he does.

Photo by Tristan Malpelli on Pexels.com

A Freudian voyeur can analyze our freshly-scrubbed psyches by studying our bars of soap: mine is always a flat, overworked strip; his, a perfectly-caressed quenelle.

©2021 Chel Owens

56 thoughts on “Business or Pleasure?

  1. Bruce Goodman November 6, 2021 / 8:33 pm

    Pleasure Showerererer here. I stand on one leg with my other foot jammed into my knee joint – and think.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. CarolCooks2 November 6, 2021 / 8:54 pm

    Well as I am happily retired mine is now more leisurely but I feel your pain, Chel..been there, done it and have 6 t/shirts like you…Hope all is well Hugs x

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Jim Borden November 6, 2021 / 9:26 pm

    I think I am more like you; I usually like to time myself… 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. mattsnyder1970 November 6, 2021 / 9:42 pm

    I am share showerer, never truly getting enough time to enjoy any water because my wife tends to hog it, the perils of showering with your mate, someone is bound to always have the upper hand while the other person is screwed.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chel Owens November 6, 2021 / 11:48 pm

      😀 We had that problem, too, up until the house before this one. Our last shower was wonderful: two showerheads in a fairly large space and an on-demand water heater! Man, were we spoiled!

      Liked by 1 person

      • mattsnyder1970 November 7, 2021 / 5:24 am

        I’ll never have that luxury, it’s been like pulling teeth to convince my wife to leave this crappy apartment.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. petespringerauthor November 6, 2021 / 11:04 pm

    Haha! What am I? I’ll classify myself as middle management. Most mornings, I start with a five-minute shower after I roll out of bed because that’s how I roll. The problem is I go to the gym several mornings, and I don’t like to stink the rest of the day. That means I often grab a second ten-minute shower by late morning. A bit quirky, but that’s what works for me.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chel Owens November 6, 2021 / 11:49 pm

      Nah, Kevin will do that, too. No one likes to be uncomfortable!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. kat November 6, 2021 / 11:05 pm

    Considering I’ve spent most of my life living in a drought and it looks like we have water restrictions coming, my husband and I are definitely business showerers! Can’t waste a drop! Currently trying not to be jealous of your husband’s prolonged showers.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chel Owens November 6, 2021 / 11:51 pm

      Now that you mention it, we’ve had a drought year, too.

      Kevin’s not such a pleasure showerer lately, between that and helping to care for our toddler while I’m recovering!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. willowdot21 November 7, 2021 / 1:30 am

    I am a business girl to in out move on! Hubby is a business guy too….but doesn’t clean up as well as I do! 💜

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Nope, Not Pam November 7, 2021 / 2:52 am

    I think I’m in the same situation as you, but my son is the worst. He’ll stay in even when the hot has run out 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

      • Nope, Not Pam November 7, 2021 / 3:42 am

        And high water bills for us 😕

        Liked by 1 person

        • Chel Owens November 7, 2021 / 8:13 am

          Oh, I know! Come to think of it, my teenage son has been completely draining the tank. I need to start charging a usage fee.

          Liked by 1 person

          • Nope, Not Pam November 7, 2021 / 11:46 am

            Good idea

            Liked by 1 person

  9. Hobbo November 7, 2021 / 3:08 am

    You can mix business and pleasure, with a mixer-head my treasure! 😂

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Ian Kay November 7, 2021 / 3:31 am

    The only business bit we do is to squeegee the tiles and glass door afterwards. It’s a limestone region which means “hard” water and limescale builds up quickly on surfaces left to dry naturally. Oh, and to make sure the karaoke machine has enough charge for the full fifteen minutes of use.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chel Owens November 7, 2021 / 3:36 am

      You have a shower karaoke?? I need one. -No, wait; then I would never see Kevin again!

      Do you have water softeners where you live? We also have hard water and are looking to install one.

      Like

      • Ian Kay November 7, 2021 / 8:25 am

        Yes, we have water softeners here – but a squeegee is only £1 from poundsavers.

        We have good acoustics in our shower too, though I think that’s an accident of design. Beautiful reverb, great for soul music. 😁

        Liked by 1 person

        • Chel Owens November 7, 2021 / 8:41 am

          A squeegee is no match for all that buildup round here, especially in our pipes!

          This sounds like you need to host shower concerts.

          Like

      • Ian Kay November 7, 2021 / 8:28 am

        You don’t need a karaoke really. Just put your smartphone in a plastic bag and dial up Youtube videos with lyric subtitles! 🤓

        Like

  11. tnkerr November 7, 2021 / 4:50 am

    I’ve taken my share of ‘submarine showers’
    There is a time and a place for everything.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chel Owens November 7, 2021 / 8:15 am

      😀 Submarine showers. Actually, a few of our kids stop up the drain in the tub/shower so it’s like a bath and shower combined.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Norah November 7, 2021 / 5:03 am

    Sometimes you just have to catch it while you can. Enjoy the moment.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. LA November 7, 2021 / 5:44 am

    I love my shower…

    Liked by 1 person

  14. D. Wallace Peach November 7, 2021 / 9:42 am

    Pleasure here, but I remember those days of taking a shower as fast as humanly possible with the baby on a clean towel on the bath mat ready to bawl any moment. Sigh. This too shall pass. And a great post that captures the gender difference when it comes to newborns.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chel Owens November 7, 2021 / 10:07 am

      😀 Kevin pointed out to me that he’s stuck doing business showers while I recover -like you said, with a baby bawling in the towel. He’s on full toddler duty lately so his showers are not his own!

      Liked by 1 person

  15. robbiesinspiration November 7, 2021 / 11:06 am

    I can relate, Chel, it’s like this in my house too. Somehow, men have more time to waste than we do.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chel Owens November 7, 2021 / 1:08 pm

      😀 What a funny post. So true to life. Maybe I’ll get to take a bath someday…

      Like

  16. bosssybabe November 9, 2021 / 9:59 pm

    Haha his porcelain throne… My husband lives a completely different life than my fast-paced, scheduled one lol… He thinks I’m high-strung lol I think he can stand to be strung sometimes lol

    Liked by 1 person

  17. bereavedandbeingasingleparent November 13, 2021 / 1:55 am

    I’m kinda used to surviving in slightly not freezing water these days. Apparently it’s good for the constitution. Or as my autocorrect tried, good for the constipation…….

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chel Owens November 13, 2021 / 7:18 am

      😀 I would think warmer would be better for the constipation.

      Like

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