Business or Pleasure?

I am a Business Showerer.

The instant I’ve guaranteed ten full minutes of distraction for my cute, little distractions; I’m in flight-control checklist mode:

✔Shower curtain, in position
✔Nozzle, adjusted
✔Hot water, started
✔Shampoo, secured
✔Bar soap, on rack
✔Razor, located
✔Towel, ready for reentry
✔Water temperature, adjusted
✔Hair, secured with safety loop

And … go, go, go!

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

My husband is a Pleasure Showerer.

The hour or so after he’s leisurely caught up on cell phone heralds from his porcelain throne; he’s in contemplative mode:

Tap water released
Phone, atop muddled towels
Awaits naked return

Meanwhile, I take bets on whether the hot water will run out before he does.

Photo by Tristan Malpelli on Pexels.com

A Freudian voyeur can analyze our freshly-scrubbed psyches by studying our bars of soap: mine is always a flat, overworked strip; his, a perfectly-caressed quenelle.

©2021 Chel Owens

56 thoughts on “Business or Pleasure?

  1. I am share showerer, never truly getting enough time to enjoy any water because my wife tends to hog it, the perils of showering with your mate, someone is bound to always have the upper hand while the other person is screwed.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Haha! What am I? I’ll classify myself as middle management. Most mornings, I start with a five-minute shower after I roll out of bed because that’s how I roll. The problem is I go to the gym several mornings, and I don’t like to stink the rest of the day. That means I often grab a second ten-minute shower by late morning. A bit quirky, but that’s what works for me.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Considering I’ve spent most of my life living in a drought and it looks like we have water restrictions coming, my husband and I are definitely business showerers! Can’t waste a drop! Currently trying not to be jealous of your husband’s prolonged showers.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. The only business bit we do is to squeegee the tiles and glass door afterwards. It’s a limestone region which means “hard” water and limescale builds up quickly on surfaces left to dry naturally. Oh, and to make sure the karaoke machine has enough charge for the full fifteen minutes of use.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You have a shower karaoke?? I need one. -No, wait; then I would never see Kevin again!

      Do you have water softeners where you live? We also have hard water and are looking to install one.

      Like

      1. Yes, we have water softeners here – but a squeegee is only £1 from poundsavers.

        We have good acoustics in our shower too, though I think that’s an accident of design. Beautiful reverb, great for soul music. 😁

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Pleasure here, but I remember those days of taking a shower as fast as humanly possible with the baby on a clean towel on the bath mat ready to bawl any moment. Sigh. This too shall pass. And a great post that captures the gender difference when it comes to newborns.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. 😀 Kevin pointed out to me that he’s stuck doing business showers while I recover -like you said, with a baby bawling in the towel. He’s on full toddler duty lately so his showers are not his own!

      Liked by 1 person

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