Welcome to the weekly Terrible Poetry Contest!
People may be confused about what makes a poem terrible. I’ve written a very handy guide that walks you through an example. It’s HERE and I recommend spending the two minutes it takes to read it.
Terrible poems are meant to contain too much angst, too many (or too few) adjectives, pretension, meter that doesn’t match, obvious copyright infringement, vague references to nature, the least-interesting descriptors, or boring prose instead of moving verse.
Got it? Good, ’cause last week’s winner, Matt, has set the rules for this week:
- Topic: The family pet, written Golden Shovel Style. Here are the rules for the Golden Shovel: Take a line (or lines) from a poem you admire. Use each word in the line (or lines) as an end word in your poem. Keep the end words in order. Give credit to the poet who originally wrote the line (or lines). The new poem does not have to be about the same subject as the poem that offers the end words.
- The Length is up to you.
- As far as I can tell, Rhyming is up to you, too.
- Whatever, man, just make it terrible! Dredge up Fido’s memories and remains through the worst eulogy printed on Purina Puppy Chow. Set the still-living Princess Catarina howling in indignance. Send Horace the hamster spinning with rage.
- Let’s keep the Rating: PG or cleaner. How risqué do your animals get?
You have till 8:00 a.m. MST next Thursday (February 3) to submit a poem.
Use the form below if you want to be anonymous for a week.
For a more social experience, include your poem or a link to it in the comments. Please alert me if your pingback or poem does not show up within a day.
The winner gains bragging rights, a badge, and the option to choose the next week’s topic and type of poem.
©2022 Chel Owens