The Terrible Poetry Contest

Chel Owens

Welcome to the weekly Terrible Poetry Contest!

Terrible poetry isn’t that difficult. If you want to know the best way to go about it, read HERE. If you don’t care, you’ve already skimmed over this paragraph and butterflies will take over the world someday.

So, here are the specifics:

  1. Last week’s winner, Geoff, has decided on the Topic of embarrassment, written as a pantoum. According to poets.org, “The pantoum is a poem of any length, composed of four-line stanzas in which the second and fourth lines of each stanza serve as the first and third lines of the next stanza. The last line of a pantoum is often the same as the first.” (See below, for a visual outline.)
  2. It sounds like the Length must be at least two stanzas. Where you go from there is up to you and your junior high crush.
  3. Rhyming is optional.
  4. Like any good embarrassing story, make it terrible! Make us squirm in our chairs at the over-applied makeup and out-of-style outfit you wore to the wrong night of your crush’s birthday party when her overprotective father opened the door and then you were the reason she got grounded for a month so she never spoke to you again but you just ran into her at the grocery store… Literally. Your car insurance has now gone up.
  5. Rating: PG-13 or cleaner.
© University of Waterloo

You have till 8:00 a.m. MST next Thursday (February 10) to submit a poem.

Use the form below if you want to be anonymous for a week.

For a more social experience, include your poem or a link to it in the comments. Please alert me if your pingback or poem does not show up within a day.

The winner gains bragging rights, a badge, and the option to choose the next week’s topic and type of poem.

Photo by Anna Shvets from Pexels

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©2022 Chel Owens

18 thoughts on “The Terrible Poetry Contest”

  1. willowdot21 February 5, 2022 / 5:07 am

    I have submitted my entry Chel, can I put on my blog or do I need to wait until it’s been judged .
    Funny thing is this is second time I had been asked about my most embarrassing moment. The incidence has stayed with me all these years 😌💜

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chel Owens February 5, 2022 / 9:34 am

      I can’t even talk about my most embarrassing moment, so you’ve got me there. You can post and link back or submit it here.

      Like

      • willowdot21 February 5, 2022 / 9:36 am

        I already submitted it but I am going to put it in my blog and link you and Geoff .. hopefully people will be forgiving 😆💜💜💜

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Jim Borden February 5, 2022 / 8:04 am

    point number 4 – are you talking from personal experience? 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. mattsnyder1970 February 5, 2022 / 9:04 am

    THAT ONE AFTERNOON AT WORK I WILL NEVER FORGET
    Darn, I forgot my belt.
    I sure was feeling svelte.
    As I was walking down the hall and stood by the darkroom, pew the sulfur I did smelt.
    Shucks, just then my pants fell, the embarrassment I surely felt.

    I sure was, feeling svelte.
    Then my world was upside down, with the card I was dealt.
    Shucks, just then my pants fell, the embarrassment I surely felt!!
    My female coworkers pointing and laughing, like a bucket of water thrown at me, I was the Witch that Dorothy did melt!

    Then, my world, was upside down with the card I was dealt.
    As I was walking down the hall and stood by the darkroom, pew the sulfur I did smelt!
    My female coworkers pointing and laughing, like a bucket of water thrown at me, I was the Witch that Dorothy did melt!
    Darn, I FORGOT MY BELT!!!!!!!!!

    Liked by 3 people

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  8. obbverse February 6, 2022 / 4:09 pm

    This pantoum was/is a struggle, but it stretches the comfort zone. Thanks, Geoff and Chel, I guess(?)

    Bust A Move.

    After I’d turned to her for one lousy dance
    I was left gasping, so long and red of face,
    Away she stepped, after high-arched glance
    With effortless entitled aristocratic grace.

    I was left, gasping, so long and red of face,
    Sorrowfully I watched her pertly depart
    With effortless entitled aristocratic grace
    Stilettos driving deep into my bitter heart.

    Sorrowfully I watched her pertly depart,
    She’d put me back in my place and class,
    Stilettos driving deep into my bitter heart
    When she slipped and fell flat on her ass.

    She’d put me back in my place and class
    But as the titters began to grow apace
    When she slipped and fell flat on her ass
    I was left gasping, SO long, and red of face.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Frank Hubeny February 10, 2022 / 9:33 am

    I’m not sure it this fits the prompt, but here it goes.

    ——————

    **Embarrassing frustrating experiences with effective argumentation**

    “The earth is blue! The earth is black!”
    “No, it ain’t! No, it ain’t!”
    “The earth is round and pancake flat!”
    “No, it ain’t! No, it ain’t!”

    “No, it ain’t! No, it ain’t”
    “The earth is round and pancake flat!”
    “No, it ain’t! No, it ain’t!”
    “The earth is blue! The earth is black!

    —————–

    It ain’t.

    It is.

    It ain’t. It ain’t. It ain’t. IT AIN’T!

    It is. It is. It…(swat).

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chel Owens February 11, 2022 / 12:17 am

      Oh, man. I’d argue with that, too! Thanks, Frank!

      Liked by 1 person

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    • Chel Owens February 13, 2022 / 10:36 pm

      Thanks, Greg! I’ll try to include it tomorrow.

      You should try the cento one this week. I had fun randomly cutting and pasting from a poem.

      Like

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