I May Be Karen Wheeler

Chel Owens

Man, do I hate tailgaters. If the term is different in your neck of the woods, I refer to those drivers who think personal space isn’t important. I refer to those drivers who haven’t guessed how likely a rear-end collision will be. I refer to idiots.

I see no logical reason for a person to follow closely behind my car. I’m not going to speed up. All I’m going to do is run a verbal commentary on what s/he is thinking. “Hi, I’m Mr. Rudypants* and I want to show how stupid I am by riding your butt. How’s it working for ya??”

This action not only fails to achieve the person’s purpose (speed up or move), it also puts me on edge. I drive with heightened anxiety. If the car in front of me stops, what’s going to happen to Rudypants?

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Man, do I hate speedsters. Pedal-to-the-medalers. Hot rods. Also idiots.

You’re not impressing anyone with your ability to break the speed limit. Seriously; I’m a minivan and I can do exactly the same thing. When are you going to stop, anyway -at 100 mph? The white and black signs with numbers on them do exist for a reason.

My favorite is when a driver tailgates my car up the onramp, then guns it and barely scrapes around my car as s/he peels down the highway. You go, girl.

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And man, do I hate impatience.

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What?

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Oh. Right. So… what’s your road rage/pet peeve? Would you drive me crazy?

©2022 Chel Owens

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This here’s what I wrote for the last two weeks:
Wednesday, March 16: “A Phrase By Any Other Language…” in which we discussed apt expressions worldwide.

Friday, March 18: Behold, The Unidachshund.

Saturday, March 19: Winner of the Terrible Poetry Contest: Colleen!!

Sunday, March 20: A quote by Steve Jobs.

Monday, March 21: Mormon Monday! It’s okay, you can repent.

Tuesday, March 22: Announced the biweekly Terrible Poetry Contest. YOU HAVE TILL TOMORROW TO SEND IN AN ENTRY!! We’re writing burlesque. It’s fun!

Wednesday, March 23: My birthday. Thank you for all the kind wishes.

Friday, March 25: Friday Photo. It’s nice.

Sunday, March 27: Aristotle’s quote. You know, about the snow he lived in.

Monday, March 28: I’m a Mormon, So I’m prudish.

Tuesday, March 29: An answer to Carrot Ranch‘s prompt on disappearance.

©2022 Chel Owens

*I have standards about swearing, remember? Oh, and there are kids in the car a lot.

46 thoughts on “I May Be Karen Wheeler”

  1. I am with you wholeheartedly on all of the above why they would like to hitch ride in the boot of my car is beyond me…Speeding is as bad as going too slow and behaving like “Miss Daisy” or hogging the outside lane and driving like “Miss Daisy”…as then all the lanes are blocked and the traffic is queueing behind you…

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Oh, a few moronic motorists habits grind my gears. The parker on the side of the road who parks with three quarters of a car length in front and rear, so, easily room for two to park- but no.
    The people lined up in traffic, with traffic backed up a block behind who have enough room to park a Greyhound bus in front of them… My worst; text-on-the-go. You have one job, to drive your car, viewing this weeks BFF selfie on your phone ain’t conducive to safe travel.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. You’re right! I had a friend who got randomly slapped by a pre-teen boy with his face zipped up in one of those novelty hoodies -after he’d followed her a little too closely and she’d told herself it wasn’t a big deal. He ran off after doing it so we can only conclude it was a Tik Tok challenge.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I usually find that slowing down about 5 or 10 mph encourages tailgaters to go around me. But if they don’t then at least we’ll have a less dangerous accident, should we collide.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I so get this Chelsea, but I also hate drivers who don’t give people a little space. I was knocked off my push bike this week cos the driver wouldn’t give me ten seconds to get past a parked car 🙄

    Liked by 1 person

  7. People who think they’re gonna live forever on the freeway, zipping in and out of lanes at break-neck speed with no signals, clearly endangering every other driver. In Detroit there’s a special breed of these idiots who roam in packs of Dodge Chargers and another pack that drive crotch-rockets who race down the freeways. If anyone so much as changes a lane, not noticing them racing up behind them, certain death will meet these adrenaline junkies and the unsuspecting drivers. Oh, and I suppose I should throw in the random road-raging shooter we get.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Yep, happened to me on I-696 a couple years. A pack of Chargers I just happened to see in my rearview were coming up at easily over 100mph. I just didn’t flinch as they roared past me. If i’d suddenly changed lanes somebody would have died for sure.

        As for target practice, thankfully I haven’t been a victim, but at least a half-dozen people last year can’t say the same!

        Liked by 1 person

  8. I agree with you ( I really don’t care if you’re late for work or have a bad case of the runs), I’m not fond of people talking or surfing the web on their phone while they are behind me, don’t much care for people who drive way UNDER the speed limit, or people that put the wrong turn signal on…there is a lot of bad driving out their..one of the worst is driving without headlights in either a snow white out, a dounpour or thick fog.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Tailgaters are super irritating so I just slow down more. I really dislike those who cannot merge correctly onto a highway system- a new car wants in then move over a lane if you can, if not adjust speeds so no one has to slam on breaks at 60 mph.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh! Me, too! I am especially bothered by drivers being jerks around large trucks. Almost all of the time, the large truck driver is being so careful but there are always idiots not giving them space and zipping around them in blind spots.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. My biggest pet peeve is those driving 15+ mph faster than everyone else and dangerously swinging in and out of lanes at these breakneck speeds. All it takes is one person not seeing them and changing lanes at the wrong time for an accident, most likely involving fatalities. What could be so crucial for that?

    Liked by 1 person

  14. You go Karen, ummm, I mean Chel!!! You know who is worse than the onramp tailgater you so eloquently reference… the onramp tailgater who rides your derrière, scraps by you (like they are trying to collect sideview mirrors) before the merge is allowed and then when your forced to pull in directly behind them IMMEDIATELY SLOW DOWN to 10 or 15 below the speed limit. What the was your RUSH!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  16. I was on my way to work one morning when one of my co-workers started following me. He got the idea that it would be fun to tailgate me for a joke, and it kind of was until the cop pulled him over. I laughed very hard.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. I hate all those ppl… I am a bit of a petty queen so when someone rides me in a middle lane I will continue to go the same speed (it’s not an obnoxious speed, they just happen to want to go much faster) and when they finally give up and move to another lane, that’s when I annoyingly move to the next lane hahaha Hello, My Name is Petty! LOL I only do it when it’s not dangerous! Other than that, I am a pretty safe driver! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I also used to be more rageful back when I was younger… and when I felt invincible… swearing/flipping the bird, the works… but nowadays, you just never know what kind of lunatic is behind the wheel so I just laugh it all off!

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