All We Ever Get is Calories

Chel Owens

I’ve been dieting lately.

I find it no funny coincidence that dieting sounds so much like dying, because I’ve not been able to indulge in my unhealthy eating habits for -eight- -whole- -weeks-.

Photo by RODNAE Productions on Pexels.com

This dy -eting has been part of a challenge: I, along with several other participants, have solemnly sworn to drink 64 oz. of water, eat 2 fruits and 3 vegetables, not consume sugar, exercise 5/7 days of the week, keep a food journal, contact a teammate daily, and whine about my lack of energy at least 3 times a day.

And that’s why I want to hear about dessert.

No, really. The upside of this diet is one ‘cheat’ day a week where I get to eat sugar. Two weeks ago, I made chocolate chip cookies and peanut butter bars to celebrate. Last week, I opted for an oatmeal fruit bar -because I love oats.

I also love chocolate lava cake, cream puffs, éclairs, fresh fruit pies, pistachio ice cream, Tagalongs, Symphony bars with toffee bits, Costco’s macadamia clusters, rich chocolate, crullers, and …maybe I should go to bed instead of making myself salivate.

In the meantime, what are some of your favorite treats? If you could eat sugar for just one day a week, which dessert would you indulge in?

Photo by Igor Ovsyannykov on Pexels.com

©2022 Chel Owens

—————-

Here’s what I wrote for the last …weeks:
Wednesday, April 27: We talked about how we want to be remembered.

Thursday, April 28ish: Announced the winner of the Terrible Poetry Contest, Geoff Le Pard!

Sunday, May 1: Shared a quote by Alice Walker.

Thursday, May 5: Announced the latest Terrible Poetry Contest. THERE’S STILL TIME TO ENTER! IT’LL BE FUN!

Friday, May 6: Friday Photo of a funny play on wives words.

Sunday, May 8: Quoted C. S. Lewis for Mother’s Day, then wrote a poem about the dang holiday.

Monday, May 9: Mormon Monday! Families are so so so so so important.

Friday, May 13: It’s Friday Photo day down at the tire shop!

Sunday, May 15: Quote by David O. McKay.
And, a really beautiful knock-off of “Bad Habits.”

Monday, May 16ish: I’m a Mormon, so I’m not inked and holed.

Tuesday, May 17ish: Answered Charli’s prompt to rewrite her story in 99 words.

©2022 Chel Owens

60 thoughts on “All We Ever Get is Calories”

  3. I don’t know if you’re familiar with any of this but we have a budget supermarket chain here – from Germany, called Lidl (pronounced in English as Liddle). They sell small packs of coconut macaroons, six to a box. Something between a cake and a cookie, it’s branded as something like “Mrs. Orthwaites Home-baked Old-fashioned Macaroons” or something equally fallacious and pretentious, but they are exactly as they should be: moist and just syrupy sweet enough and full of desiccated coconut goodness.

    Diet comes from “a way of life” or how to live. It doesn’t seem right to use the word for a form of self-torture. 😆

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I have not heard of those nor seen them! I’ll look them up and see about international availability.

      You’re right about ‘diet;’ it is just what you’re eating. Many use it only when restricting the good stuff.:(

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      2. …but I wouldn’t recommend the gluten free ones – unless you’re gluten intolerant. I bought gluten free once by mistake – yeuk! 😝

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  6. Oh man cream puffs, there is a joint in the North East of PA close to Upstate NY, that has the best damn cream puffs that my wife and I are including on our fall getaway trip.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You will have to send me the address as well. Whenever we drive waaaay out to see Kev’s relatives in Maryland, we usually end up visiting other parts along the way.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. I follow a diet that has worked for me: 1) intermittent fasting, 2) avoiding lectins on the list of foods not to eat by Steven Gundry (you can find this by searching) and 3) eating the food on Gundry’s list of foods to eat such as olive oil, coconut oil, sweet potatoes, etc. I rarely eat desserts, but then I no longer crave them. At parties I do eat the cake when offered.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I don’t like desserts that are too sweet. Maybe something a little cheesy? I don’t know man, a lot of the dessert places make you feel tired and exhausted after just a few bites lol. And they leave that syrupy taste in your mouth. Oh yeah, there are Indian desserts like Rosgulla that I don’t mind, in small proportions.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. There’s an Australian chocolate biscuit called the TimTam and I plead guilty to being the instigator of addiction to them amongst my many American friends. (I know you’re not into coffee but there are variations on the TimTam Slammer https://www.thespruceeats.com/tim-tam-slam-an-australian-coffee-break-ritual-256234 )
    However, for home-made purposes, nothing beats Chocolate Crack (which is as addictive as the name suggests. Here’s a version by Annabel Crabb, Australia’s most incisive and witty political commentator and a brilliant food writer. (Salada is a type of salted cracker – substitute what works for you.) https://thebigissue.org.au/article/annabel-crabbs-salted-caramel-crack/

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You always introduce me to the best things. I’ve had a Tim Tam (and have gotten close enough to smell Vegemite, by the way).

      I’ll look up your chocolate crack now…

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  11. Chilled Lemon meringue pie, and Cadbury Bounty Bar (if the US don’t have it, darkly decadent and piquant chocolate lovingly wrapping a soft ooh so gooey sugary coconut centre filling that has a texture and sweetness that is desiccatedly/delicately balanced by the lightest hint of the shredded coconut savoury, from the first tiny bite to the last near finger-tip rendering chomp you will …) oh, sorry, where was I? I was transported to a place where all is sweetness and delight…

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  12. To continue with the theme …

    God only knows how this got started
    My sportsman’s body long departed
    And so to waters long uncharted
    A diet. Not for the faint-hearted
    Nor what I anticipated
    My kitchen sadly under-catered
    Refrigerator decimated
    Yearnings? Greatly under-stated
    Nothing in the pan that’s frying
    This diet is akin to dying
    Please hear me Lord, I am not lying
    I’m getting nowhere, though I’m trying
    Nothing in the oven bakin’
    Self-confidence so sadly shaken
    For a fat man oft mistaken
    God, why have I been forsaken?
    Now God, I feel the end is near
    Starvation. Reverential fear
    I tried. I want to make that clear …….
    To hell with it. I’ll have a beer.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Well …. the fact is that we have recently suffered a major family tragedy which has shaken us to the core and, recognising my own tendency to take quiet shelter behind drugs and alcohol, possibly sinking beyond the point of no return, I vowed to consume nothing stronger than beer for the foreseeable future.
        The result is that whilst I have remained essentially sober (there is a volumetric limit to how much beer one can drink – I suppose chocolate would be the same, eventually) I am slowly doubling in size. Mrs Richmond, on the other hand, has been shedding weight at an alarming rate, so we are sort of balancing each other out.

        Liked by 1 person

        2. Sorry to hear about your loss. I’ve always thought naturally thin people eat less and naturally not thin people eat more during stressful times. I’ve said more recently that food is my drug of choice in those situations.

          I’ve never liked beer though I am trying to find one that I like and can enjoy with my kids when I get to Michigan. They’re my taste testers for that endeavor. I have also been trying various red wines so I can expand my choices when I go wine tasting with my friends.

          Chel already knows about how I sometimes mindlessly overindulge in my drug of choice, usually sweet or salty but almost always heavy on the carbs. Like beer!

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          1. Thank you for that thought.
            The sad truth is that I know far too much about red wine. Fortunately beer is an option that tends to be limited by volumetric capacity before the alcohol intake gets out of hand.

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  14. Dieting is like dying. I don’t do sugar anymore because of diabetes but I allow myself a treat of Bluebell Ice Cream once or twice a month. Everything else I have to count the carbs and read a lot of labels! It’s amazing how much crap is out there. I started reading labels and dropped 45 pounds in two months. Now it’s moderation. Fortunately, I love fresh vegetables and that’s one of the benefits of being a farm manager. I haven’t bought produce at the store in over three years! I was raised in Texas and spent my summers at the ranch so I don’t intend on giving up red meat though. Good luck with the dieting!

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    1. That’s great! I totally agree about the crap. I know I’m going to return to some of it after this challenge but my eyes have been opened!

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  16. Sugar is my one weakness. When I committed to my health five years ago, I gave up soda which I used to drink far too much. The funny thing is I don’t miss it at all. I didn’t give up ice cream altogether, but I don’t like having it in the house because it’s one of those foods I can’t seem to eat in moderation. I might have a milkshake or ice cream cone once every couple of months as a reward if I’ve been disciplined about my eating.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. That’s very wise of you, Pete. Soda pop is TERRIBLE for you, and one of the people in the diet challenge group said she went 2000 calories over her goal for that day just by having ice cream sundaes as a treat.

      Man oh man is ice cream delicious!

      Liked by 1 person

    2. I can’t stop myself once I start overindulging with ice cream or carbs. I have been able to exercise some self-limitation in those areas by buying single serving sizes of each and only eating one per day. Works most days. I just wish the packaging wasn’t so wasteful.

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