All We Ever Get is Calories

I’ve been dieting lately.

I find it no funny coincidence that dieting sounds so much like dying, because I’ve not been able to indulge in my unhealthy eating habits for -eight- -whole- -weeks-.

Photo by RODNAE Productions on

This dy -eting has been part of a challenge: I, along with several other participants, have solemnly sworn to drink 64 oz. of water, eat 2 fruits and 3 vegetables, not consume sugar, exercise 5/7 days of the week, keep a food journal, contact a teammate daily, and whine about my lack of energy at least 3 times a day.

And that’s why I want to hear about dessert.

No, really. The upside of this diet is one ‘cheat’ day a week where I get to eat sugar. Two weeks ago, I made chocolate chip cookies and peanut butter bars to celebrate. Last week, I opted for an oatmeal fruit bar -because I love oats.

I also love chocolate lava cake, cream puffs, éclairs, fresh fruit pies, pistachio ice cream, Tagalongs, Symphony bars with toffee bits, Costco’s macadamia clusters, rich chocolate, crullers, and …maybe I should go to bed instead of making myself salivate.

In the meantime, what are some of your favorite treats? If you could eat sugar for just one day a week, which dessert would you indulge in?

Photo by Igor Ovsyannykov on

©2022 Chel Owens


Here’s what I wrote for the last …weeks:
Wednesday, April 27: We talked about how we want to be remembered.

Thursday, April 28ish: Announced the winner of the Terrible Poetry Contest, Geoff Le Pard!

Sunday, May 1: Shared a quote by Alice Walker.

Thursday, May 5: Announced the latest Terrible Poetry Contest. THERE’S STILL TIME TO ENTER! IT’LL BE FUN!

Friday, May 6: Friday Photo of a funny play on wives words.

Sunday, May 8: Quoted C. S. Lewis for Mother’s Day, then wrote a poem about the dang holiday.

Monday, May 9: Mormon Monday! Families are so so so so so important.

Friday, May 13: It’s Friday Photo day down at the tire shop!

Sunday, May 15: Quote by David O. McKay.
And, a really beautiful knock-off of “Bad Habits.”

Monday, May 16ish: I’m a Mormon, so I’m not inked and holed.

Tuesday, May 17ish: Answered Charli’s prompt to rewrite her story in 99 words.

©2022 Chel Owens

60 thoughts on “All We Ever Get is Calories

  1. Sheree May 19, 2022 / 2:05 am

    TBH it varies largely because I so rarely eat desserts.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chel Owens May 19, 2022 / 8:12 am

      It seems someone always asks my favorite candy bar when I’m not even interested in them. 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Denny K May 19, 2022 / 2:57 am

    Oh, I forgot how much I enjoy a Symphony bar with toffee. Yum. My favorite has to be chocolate cake (lava optional) with vanilla ice cream.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chel Owens May 19, 2022 / 8:18 am

      They are so good! Do you have any issue with someone describing a chocolate cake as moist?


  3. Ian Kay May 19, 2022 / 3:08 am

    I don’t know if you’re familiar with any of this but we have a budget supermarket chain here – from Germany, called Lidl (pronounced in English as Liddle). They sell small packs of coconut macaroons, six to a box. Something between a cake and a cookie, it’s branded as something like “Mrs. Orthwaites Home-baked Old-fashioned Macaroons” or something equally fallacious and pretentious, but they are exactly as they should be: moist and just syrupy sweet enough and full of desiccated coconut goodness.

    Diet comes from “a way of life” or how to live. It doesn’t seem right to use the word for a form of self-torture. 😆

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chel Owens May 19, 2022 / 8:20 am

      I have not heard of those nor seen them! I’ll look them up and see about international availability.

      You’re right about ‘diet;’ it is just what you’re eating. Many use it only when restricting the good stuff.:(


      • Ian Kay May 19, 2022 / 9:47 am

        You have Danny Macaroons! From NYC.


      • Ian Kay May 19, 2022 / 9:49 am

        …but I wouldn’t recommend the gluten free ones – unless you’re gluten intolerant. I bought gluten free once by mistake – yeuk! 😝


  4. Annette Rochelle Aben May 19, 2022 / 4:27 am

    Carrot cake with loads of cream cheese frosting! (covers 2 bases here for me, as I do not eat anything with added sugar and I do not eat dairy)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chel Owens May 19, 2022 / 8:24 am

      I’ve only recently started liking cream cheese. It adds a delicious richness to many desserts. Yum!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Nope, Not Pam May 19, 2022 / 5:15 am

    I don’t eat a lot of sweet things, but this week I’m making passion fruit ice cream. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

      • Nope, Not Pam May 20, 2022 / 3:53 am

        Well it would have been, but the fruit is actually guava, so we now have guava ice cream 🍨

        Liked by 1 person

          • Nope, Not Pam May 20, 2022 / 4:48 am

            It’s setting, I’ll try it tomorrow 😉

            Liked by 1 person

  6. M. May 19, 2022 / 5:55 am

    Oh man cream puffs, there is a joint in the North East of PA close to Upstate NY, that has the best damn cream puffs that my wife and I are including on our fall getaway trip.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chel Owens May 19, 2022 / 9:31 am

      You will have to send me the address as well. Whenever we drive waaaay out to see Kev’s relatives in Maryland, we usually end up visiting other parts along the way.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Frank Hubeny May 19, 2022 / 6:00 am

    I follow a diet that has worked for me: 1) intermittent fasting, 2) avoiding lectins on the list of foods not to eat by Steven Gundry (you can find this by searching) and 3) eating the food on Gundry’s list of foods to eat such as olive oil, coconut oil, sweet potatoes, etc. I rarely eat desserts, but then I no longer crave them. At parties I do eat the cake when offered.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chel Owens May 19, 2022 / 9:33 am

      Thanks! Like you, I don’t miss the desserts when I’m already doing berries and sugar just isn’t an option. I really need a happy medium.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. LA May 19, 2022 / 6:29 am

    Crepe cake, strawberry short cake, Swiss roll cake, lemon soufflé

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chel Owens May 19, 2022 / 9:34 am

      Crepe cake???? Swiss roll cake??? Where have I been?

      Liked by 1 person

      • LA May 19, 2022 / 9:36 am

        Look up Mille crepe cake from lady M bakery and Swiss roll cake from empire bakery in nyc….

        Liked by 1 person

  9. Nitin Lalit May 19, 2022 / 12:53 pm

    I don’t like desserts that are too sweet. Maybe something a little cheesy? I don’t know man, a lot of the dessert places make you feel tired and exhausted after just a few bites lol. And they leave that syrupy taste in your mouth. Oh yeah, there are Indian desserts like Rosgulla that I don’t mind, in small proportions.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chel Owens May 19, 2022 / 12:54 pm

      Sounds like you enjoy savory things. I agree about feeling tired afterwards.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Doug Jacquier May 19, 2022 / 12:59 pm

    There’s an Australian chocolate biscuit called the TimTam and I plead guilty to being the instigator of addiction to them amongst my many American friends. (I know you’re not into coffee but there are variations on the TimTam Slammer )
    However, for home-made purposes, nothing beats Chocolate Crack (which is as addictive as the name suggests. Here’s a version by Annabel Crabb, Australia’s most incisive and witty political commentator and a brilliant food writer. (Salada is a type of salted cracker – substitute what works for you.)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chel Owens May 19, 2022 / 1:01 pm

      You always introduce me to the best things. I’ve had a Tim Tam (and have gotten close enough to smell Vegemite, by the way).

      I’ll look up your chocolate crack now…


    • Chel Owens May 19, 2022 / 1:04 pm

      I’m adding this to our Christmas cookies.


  11. obbverse May 19, 2022 / 1:38 pm

    Chilled Lemon meringue pie, and Cadbury Bounty Bar (if the US don’t have it, darkly decadent and piquant chocolate lovingly wrapping a soft ooh so gooey sugary coconut centre filling that has a texture and sweetness that is desiccatedly/delicately balanced by the lightest hint of the shredded coconut savoury, from the first tiny bite to the last near finger-tip rendering chomp you will …) oh, sorry, where was I? I was transported to a place where all is sweetness and delight…

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chel Owens May 19, 2022 / 1:58 pm

      Can’t say we have the Bounty bar; that will be another to add to the international candies list. 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Richmond Road May 19, 2022 / 3:38 pm

    To continue with the theme …

    God only knows how this got started
    My sportsman’s body long departed
    And so to waters long uncharted
    A diet. Not for the faint-hearted
    Nor what I anticipated
    My kitchen sadly under-catered
    Refrigerator decimated
    Yearnings? Greatly under-stated
    Nothing in the pan that’s frying
    This diet is akin to dying
    Please hear me Lord, I am not lying
    I’m getting nowhere, though I’m trying
    Nothing in the oven bakin’
    Self-confidence so sadly shaken
    For a fat man oft mistaken
    God, why have I been forsaken?
    Now God, I feel the end is near
    Starvation. Reverential fear
    I tried. I want to make that clear …….
    To hell with it. I’ll have a beer.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Chel Owens May 19, 2022 / 4:34 pm

      Ha! Masterful. This is about my process, except I end with a package of cookies.


      • Richmond Road May 19, 2022 / 5:51 pm

        Well …. the fact is that we have recently suffered a major family tragedy which has shaken us to the core and, recognising my own tendency to take quiet shelter behind drugs and alcohol, possibly sinking beyond the point of no return, I vowed to consume nothing stronger than beer for the foreseeable future.
        The result is that whilst I have remained essentially sober (there is a volumetric limit to how much beer one can drink – I suppose chocolate would be the same, eventually) I am slowly doubling in size. Mrs Richmond, on the other hand, has been shedding weight at an alarming rate, so we are sort of balancing each other out.

        Liked by 1 person

        • Chel Owens May 19, 2022 / 6:11 pm

          Jack Sprat… :/ I am a stress eater.


        • hbsuefred May 29, 2022 / 5:26 pm

          Sorry to hear about your loss. I’ve always thought naturally thin people eat less and naturally not thin people eat more during stressful times. I’ve said more recently that food is my drug of choice in those situations.

          I’ve never liked beer though I am trying to find one that I like and can enjoy with my kids when I get to Michigan. They’re my taste testers for that endeavor. I have also been trying various red wines so I can expand my choices when I go wine tasting with my friends.

          Chel already knows about how I sometimes mindlessly overindulge in my drug of choice, usually sweet or salty but almost always heavy on the carbs. Like beer!


          • Richmond Road May 29, 2022 / 11:22 pm

            Thank you for that thought.
            The sad truth is that I know far too much about red wine. Fortunately beer is an option that tends to be limited by volumetric capacity before the alcohol intake gets out of hand.


  13. bookshelfbattle May 19, 2022 / 4:48 pm

    Is the 2 fruits and 3 veggies all you eat? That can’t be right.

    I must lose weight so I can live long to enjoy my Toilet Gator millions.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chel Owens May 19, 2022 / 6:09 pm

      No. Download MyFitnessPal and log all your calories. 🙂


      • bookshelfbattle May 19, 2022 / 6:52 pm

        I tried it said alt error delete not enough memory beep boop


        • Chel Owens May 19, 2022 / 8:49 pm

          My phone is dying from the memory load, too, but that app has made it possible for me to lose 30 lbs!

          Liked by 1 person

          • hbsuefred May 29, 2022 / 5:28 pm

            Now I know why you were so sympathetic in your comment to my Excuses post!

            Liked by 1 person

  14. gregoryjoel May 19, 2022 / 7:43 pm

    Dieting is like dying. I don’t do sugar anymore because of diabetes but I allow myself a treat of Bluebell Ice Cream once or twice a month. Everything else I have to count the carbs and read a lot of labels! It’s amazing how much crap is out there. I started reading labels and dropped 45 pounds in two months. Now it’s moderation. Fortunately, I love fresh vegetables and that’s one of the benefits of being a farm manager. I haven’t bought produce at the store in over three years! I was raised in Texas and spent my summers at the ranch so I don’t intend on giving up red meat though. Good luck with the dieting!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chel Owens May 19, 2022 / 8:50 pm

      That’s great! I totally agree about the crap. I know I’m going to return to some of it after this challenge but my eyes have been opened!


    • hbsuefred May 29, 2022 / 5:29 pm

      This is why I don’t buy ice cream. Nearly every time I do I end up eating too much at one sitting!

      Liked by 1 person

  15. Bruce Goodman May 19, 2022 / 9:58 pm

    A cheesecake big enough to last all week – oh, and a carrot cake – also some muffins because they look healthy.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chel Owens May 19, 2022 / 10:18 pm

      😀 I’m sensing a love of cream cheese. And muffins are as healthy as carrot cake, which has carrots.

      Liked by 1 person

  16. petespringerauthor May 19, 2022 / 10:44 pm

    Sugar is my one weakness. When I committed to my health five years ago, I gave up soda which I used to drink far too much. The funny thing is I don’t miss it at all. I didn’t give up ice cream altogether, but I don’t like having it in the house because it’s one of those foods I can’t seem to eat in moderation. I might have a milkshake or ice cream cone once every couple of months as a reward if I’ve been disciplined about my eating.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Chel Owens May 20, 2022 / 4:46 am

      That’s very wise of you, Pete. Soda pop is TERRIBLE for you, and one of the people in the diet challenge group said she went 2000 calories over her goal for that day just by having ice cream sundaes as a treat.

      Man oh man is ice cream delicious!

      Liked by 1 person

    • hbsuefred May 29, 2022 / 5:31 pm

      I can’t stop myself once I start overindulging with ice cream or carbs. I have been able to exercise some self-limitation in those areas by buying single serving sizes of each and only eating one per day. Works most days. I just wish the packaging wasn’t so wasteful.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Chel Owens May 20, 2022 / 10:05 pm

      I would not be able to resist!


    • Chel Owens May 23, 2022 / 1:49 pm

      I haven’t had a good one but they sound delicious.


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