Sonnet du Jour, Terrible

In honor of the last Terrible Poetry Contest before summer break, I give you my very best at terrible-ness. Do as I do, or even worse, and you’re guaranteed to win:

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I don’t like soup it makes me think of love
Erstwhile torment forsooth magniloquent
Like when my boyfriend made me soup with doves
Pain angst pain angst pain angst I’m eloquent.
I took a steak he cut out from my heart
Or flank -oh, agony! At least the taste
Was better, far, than soup I think in part…
But haste I hates or waste on waist for taste
“You make no sense,” he croons from slurping spoon,
“The dove I caught, the steak a homophone.”
“Alas,” I rage to azure suns, then swoon
At this failed step to feed my sex hormones.
Something symbolic and depressed goes here
And then I rhyme with ‘soup’ and sound unclear.

37 thoughts on “Sonnet du Jour, Terrible

  1. M. June 4, 2022 / 3:44 pm

    Well Bravo, looks a winner to me 😉😁

    Liked by 1 person

      • M. June 4, 2022 / 8:59 pm

        Bah, even if you don’t get the prize

        Liked by 1 person

          • M. June 5, 2022 / 1:00 am

            I don’t care TPC aside, this is a winning poem of Matt Snyders inaugural It’s so Awful, it’s good poem.

            Liked by 2 people

  2. RuthScribbles June 4, 2022 / 3:52 pm

    omg – so terrible and had to keep reading to see if it got better-lol

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Richmond Road June 4, 2022 / 5:07 pm

    OK. I’m impressed. You have set the bar very low and most of us may struggle to get under it. Although I thought there were a couple of instances in there somewhere that started to make a bit of sense.
    Here is another modest attempt on my part …..

    Soup
    that I scoop out of the entrails of our love
    the little bits of pre-digested nourishment
    that fall like manna from above
    our love that travelled the universe like a comet
    with all the colours of a parrot
    oh, wait. that’s vomit
    and I think I see a bit of carrot
    floating around in there
    somewhere
    with the noodles and oodles of emotion
    I have the notion
    to express
    like milk from the breast
    all the best, to us
    with love
    Brutus

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chel Owens June 4, 2022 / 7:03 pm

      I thought of you throughout!

      I’ll try to remember to include this one as well; thanks!

      Like

  4. Doug Jacquier June 4, 2022 / 6:16 pm

    Tragic that such an inspired piece of terribality failed to feed your sex hormones. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • Chel Owens June 4, 2022 / 7:04 pm

      I sincerely hope no one is titillated by this sort of thing.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. obbverse June 4, 2022 / 6:29 pm

    Verily, I stand slack-jaw, smacked of gob;
    Thy, Ms Owen, hath rendered a terrible job.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chel Owens June 4, 2022 / 11:03 pm

      Ah thanks, Obbverse.
      -although I’m sorry
      To smack your gob
      And slack your jaw-ry. 🙂

      Like

  6. obbverse June 4, 2022 / 6:31 pm

    Misseth the ‘s’ on thy noble name. Perish do I, wracked with gibbering guilt.

    Like

    • Chel Owens June 4, 2022 / 11:04 pm

      I didn’t notice; it happens often.

      Like

  7. Nope, Not Pam June 5, 2022 / 5:14 am

    Yep that’s the winner. Fantastically bad Chelsea

    Liked by 2 people

  8. D. Wallace Peach June 5, 2022 / 12:17 pm

    Whoa, Chelsea. That’s about the terriblest of the terrible, the manglest of the mangled. Lol. Loved it.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Frank Hubeny June 5, 2022 / 8:27 pm

    Nice line – I can just hear him say it; “You make no sense,” he croons from slurping spoon,

    Liked by 1 person

  10. carolyncordon June 6, 2022 / 2:05 am

    I love it, it’s terrible! Betty Boop rhymes with soup, by the way, if you wanted to slide a totally unrelated cultural reference in the poem, and apparently poetry with cultural references is ‘on point’ at the moment …

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chel Owens June 6, 2022 / 10:17 am

      I like it. I like it. I hadn’t even considered throwing in a cultural reference!

      Like

    • Chel Owens June 6, 2022 / 12:11 pm

      It’s fantastic, isn’t it? I think I have a real future as a serious poet.

      Liked by 1 person

      • robbiesinspiration June 7, 2022 / 11:15 am

        Well, some people like poetry that makes them laugh so serious poet is an interpretation [smile]

        Liked by 1 person

        • Chel Owens June 7, 2022 / 11:19 am

          Ha! I’ll aim for that!

          Like

    • Chel Owens June 6, 2022 / 9:18 pm

      I sure hope Shakespeare wrote better than that!

      Like

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