How To Create a Successful Blog, and How To Get a Lot of Followers

Chel Owens

First, you gotta write some blog posts. On a blog. Here are your rules to follow:

  1. Be hot. Seriously.
  2. Have a site that’s EASY TO READ.
  3. Keep it short. Keep it simple. Use easy words in easy formats.
  4. Be entertaining. You know, like with jokes or sarcasm. Or, just throw in cat gifs.
  5. Include pictures. Or cat gifs.
  6. Write with a good mix of informative and anecdotal. <—That, right there, was not easy words.
  7. Publish something every day. Cat gifs count.

Then, you gotta fish for followers:

  1. Be hot.
  2. Find new bloggers and Like, Comment, and Follow. Reading is optional.
  3. Search for similar blogs and Like, Comment, and Follow.
  4. Reply to every.single.comment on your posts.
  5. Enter contests; answer writing prompts.
  6. Respond to other entrants in those contests and prompts. Not sure what to say? -Pretty sure you can leave them cats.

As a Bonus: don’t fall for The Big Ones as a newbie. I’m talking Christian Mihai-types. But, those are a great place to pick up new suckers bloggers those guys have tricked into following them…

©2022 Chel Owens

I was going to do a ‘last week I posted this’ breakdown, but the most important thing is the Terrible Poetry Contest. Deadline’s tomorrow, so randomly generate some text and format it poetically.

40 thoughts on “How To Create a Successful Blog, and How To Get a Lot of Followers”

  1. That first kitten gif is having the same effect on my breakfast as a rollercoaster ride.

    I hear you, Chel. But then I am probably the original unsocial blogger (never antisocial though).

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’ve wanted to write this informative post for a while, and intended to be quite funny with it. In the end, I decided to follow my own advice and keep it really short.

      And, yes, that cat is nauseating.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I saw a great post awhile ago, someone had drawn circles on the ground for people to stand in, and cats were sitting in every one of them 😂

        Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes. All of us, probably, to some degree, at least. But I have had to come to terms with the sad reality that grandeur will escape me in this life, so the only way to maintain any sense of self-respect (self-delusion) is to pretend that I didn’t want it in the first place

        Liked by 1 person

  12. I saw a funny meme where it shows popular internet influencer on different subjects. On art, it’s a hot woman showing off her but while painting a picture. On animals, it’s a hot woman showing off her butt while petting a dog. On travel, it’s a hot woman showing off her butt in front of the Eiffel Tower.

    I’m not hot but I firmly believe if this tech had existed when I was young I would have made it to SNL. I remember thinking maybe the internet would be a way to get my writing out there, but in those days, web site design seemed like you really had to be a math genius. I wish I’d looked into it more.

    Liked by 1 person

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  16. Say…. do you like cats?
    😭🤣 I agree with everything you listed!! 😛
    Keep it short (as possible), simple, and respond to every comment! Sometimes when I am not sure if a comment is a spam comment (sometimes they disguise it quite wellll), I just say… Thanks 🙂 I gotta find a way to include cat gifs in the comment boxes!

    Liked by 1 person

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