How To Create a Successful Blog, and How To Get a Lot of Followers

First, you gotta write some blog posts. On a blog. Here are your rules to follow:

  1. Be hot. Seriously.
  2. Have a site that’s EASY TO READ.
  3. Keep it short. Keep it simple. Use easy words in easy formats.
  4. Be entertaining. You know, like with jokes or sarcasm. Or, just throw in cat gifs.
  5. Include pictures. Or cat gifs.
  6. Write with a good mix of informative and anecdotal. <—That, right there, was not easy words.
  7. Publish something every day. Cat gifs count.

Then, you gotta fish for followers:

  1. Be hot.
  2. Find new bloggers and Like, Comment, and Follow. Reading is optional.
  3. Search for similar blogs and Like, Comment, and Follow.
  4. Reply to every.single.comment on your posts.
  5. Enter contests; answer writing prompts.
  6. Respond to other entrants in those contests and prompts. Not sure what to say? -Pretty sure you can leave them cats.

As a Bonus: don’t fall for The Big Ones as a newbie. I’m talking Christian Mihai-types. But, those are a great place to pick up new suckers bloggers those guys have tricked into following them…

Β©2022 Chel Owens

I was going to do a ‘last week I posted this’ breakdown, but the most important thing is the Terrible Poetry Contest. Deadline’s tomorrow, so randomly generate some text and format it poetically.

40 thoughts on “How To Create a Successful Blog, and How To Get a Lot of Followers

  1. Ian Kay September 29, 2022 / 2:26 am

    That first kitten gif is having the same effect on my breakfast as a rollercoaster ride.

    I hear you, Chel. But then I am probably the original unsocial blogger (never antisocial though).

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chel Owens September 29, 2022 / 2:38 am

      I’ve wanted to write this informative post for a while, and intended to be quite funny with it. In the end, I decided to follow my own advice and keep it really short.

      And, yes, that cat is nauseating.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. M September 29, 2022 / 3:59 am

    Your cat gifs gave me a smile, especially the first one. I could watch that the entire day and never grow bored. 🐱😁

    Liked by 1 person

  3. David Redpath September 29, 2022 / 4:45 am

    Thanks, Chel πŸ™
    Now I know that I’ve been doing
    wrong all this time … everything! 😎

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chel Owens September 29, 2022 / 7:34 am

      Ha! Whatever. Anyway; who said fame is everything? πŸ˜‰

      Like

  4. LA September 29, 2022 / 5:04 am

    I’m still working on the be hot

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Nope, Not Pam September 29, 2022 / 5:26 am

    I want the kitty in the bowl. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chel Owens September 29, 2022 / 7:37 am

      Ha! This is my first time having cats and they really do sit in funny containers.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Nope, Not Pam September 29, 2022 / 2:09 pm

        I saw a great post awhile ago, someone had drawn circles on the ground for people to stand in, and cats were sitting in every one of them πŸ˜‚

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Tippy Gnu September 29, 2022 / 6:27 am

    This all sounds like too much work. Except for the being hot part.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Jason Frels September 29, 2022 / 7:21 am

    I can tell you how to spend a ton of money on camera gear and create a low-traffic photography blog.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chel Owens September 29, 2022 / 7:39 am

      πŸ˜€ I forgot to mention photo blogs!

      Like

    • Chel Owens September 29, 2022 / 7:40 am

      See; this is the sort of niche that’s less-popular…. πŸ˜€

      Liked by 1 person

  8. kat September 29, 2022 / 12:41 pm

    Can’t go wrong with cats! Just wish mine could be a little more photogenic. Or just stay still long enough.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chel Owens September 29, 2022 / 4:35 pm

      Oh my goodness, yes! All my cat pictures are blurry, or sleeping.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Chel Owens September 29, 2022 / 4:36 pm

      If you want a lot, yeah. I’m personally just in favor of interesting content.

      Liked by 1 person

      • John W. Howell September 29, 2022 / 4:49 pm

        I was talking to your readers since most of the tips seemed to be aimed at getting followers. I know you are above seeking followers for follower’s sake.

        Like

        • Chel Owens September 29, 2022 / 8:28 pm

          That, and I wouldn’t have the time! Besides, I’m here to connect.

          Liked by 1 person

  9. Richmond Road September 29, 2022 / 7:24 pm

    But what is the point? Why the need for more followers? Isn’t there more value to be found in following others rather than enticing them to follow you?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chel Owens September 29, 2022 / 8:30 pm

      πŸ€·β€β™€οΈ Some people have goals of grandeur?

      Like

      • Richmond Road September 30, 2022 / 1:55 am

        Yes. All of us, probably, to some degree, at least. But I have had to come to terms with the sad reality that grandeur will escape me in this life, so the only way to maintain any sense of self-respect (self-delusion) is to pretend that I didn’t want it in the first place

        Liked by 1 person

  10. bookshelfbattle September 29, 2022 / 8:27 pm

    I saw a funny meme where it shows popular internet influencer on different subjects. On art, it’s a hot woman showing off her but while painting a picture. On animals, it’s a hot woman showing off her butt while petting a dog. On travel, it’s a hot woman showing off her butt in front of the Eiffel Tower.

    I’m not hot but I firmly believe if this tech had existed when I was young I would have made it to SNL. I remember thinking maybe the internet would be a way to get my writing out there, but in those days, web site design seemed like you really had to be a math genius. I wish I’d looked into it more.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chel Owens September 29, 2022 / 8:32 pm

      Ha ha ha. That’s the long and short of it.

      Yeah; hindsight would really pay off now!

      Like

  11. heylookawriterfellow October 3, 2022 / 11:33 am

    Reading is optional!? Geez! And I’m allergic to cats! And I am not hot! (I’m lukewarm on a good day!) There is so much wrong with this post! So much!

    Liked by 1 person

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  13. bosssybabe October 4, 2022 / 8:35 pm

    Say…. do you like cats?
    😭🀣 I agree with everything you listed!! πŸ˜›
    Keep it short (as possible), simple, and respond to every comment! Sometimes when I am not sure if a comment is a spam comment (sometimes they disguise it quite wellll), I just say… Thanks πŸ™‚ I gotta find a way to include cat gifs in the comment boxes!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Chel Owens October 5, 2022 / 6:53 am

      Great idea! I’m sure there is a way…. 🐈

      Liked by 1 person

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