Contestants needed to write a triolet about cultural appropriation, thanks to Ordinary Person‘s pick for March’s terrible poetry theme. After all that work to deliver, here’s the winning poem:

CAT IS FARCE/racist face…

by M

Meow Face, funny face, red face, yellow face, black face😽
All of me, paw me😼
Found humor, in human race as I embrace
Meow Face, funny face, red face, yellow face, black face😽
Mad face, glad face, sad face stare you down with my debase face 😾
Arrogance I guarantee
Meow Face, funny face, red face, yellow face, black face😽
All of me, paw me😼

—–

Congratulations, M! You are the most terrible poet this month! Let me know what theme and form we’re to use next time (which will be the last before my usual summer sabbatical).

In fact, congratulations to all. The triolet form was tricky to write terribly within. It’s a tribute to your skill that no poem stood out to me; I read through several times and grew increasingly pickier in order to name a winner. M’s entry took a clever direction in coming from your ever-adorable online cat.

Believe you me, these are all worth reading:

How many cultures can I offend today? Hmm, let me try…

by Trent P. McDonald

Do you like my new kerchief?
Made by a Buddhist, Rasta Hippy
African rhythms by colonial thief
Do you like my new kerchief?
Native dances, grizzly bear teeth
Hindu symbols appear quite trippy
Do you like my new kerchief?
Made by a Buddhist, Rasta Hippy

—–

A farnarkerling good adventure

by Doug Jacquier

Amidst general farnarkerling,
a fair maiden did set her sights
on a ring a’sparkling,
amidst general farnarkerling.
Full of feckless fancy flights that sometimes sounded barkling,
she swore to tie the knot with a man in tights.
Amidst general farnarkerling,
a fair maiden did set her sights.

Lo, this handsome Visigoth,
known as Necro Mancy,
and to him she vowed to plight her troth.
Lo, this handsome Visigoth,
She checked he was not of the cloth
and found he was a prince so fancy
Lo, this handsome Visigoth,
known as Necro Mancy.

The handsome prince, with heart a’loudly pounding,
now without her he could not forebore
so sent to her a messenger with a sounding,
the handsome prince, with heart a’loudly pounding.
He waited for her reply, with his teeth a’grounding
and the very ground he did paw,
the handsome prince, with heart a’loudly pounding,
now without her he could not forebore.

The maiden shed a seemly tear or two
then gave herself to Necro Mancy.
And they did quaff a beer or two and
the maiden shed a seemly tear or two.
Necro did down a scotch and more than just a few
and then spoke in tongues all romancey
The maiden shed a seemly tear or two
then gave herself to Necro Mancy.

—–

Offended For Offendedness Sake

by Frank Hubeny

I didn’t grab your culture, dear.
I simply ate your tasty rice.
In spite of how it might appear
I didn’t grab your culture, dear.
So, stop the whining. Drop the sneer.
Forget I said the rice was nice.
I didn’t grab your culture, dear.
I simply ate your tasty rice.

—–

Give And Take Take Take

by Obbverse

Us colonists gave so much to the First Nations
And yet they remain ungrateful for all this?
We came, we saw, we made evaluations,
Us colonials gave so much to the First Nations,
Trinkets, reservations, blankets, flu, free inoculations,
Scarlet fever, filter tips, firearms, fire-water, syphilis,
Us colonists gave so much to the first nations
And yet they remain ungrateful for all of this?

—–

Road Warrior

by Obbverse

I’m no longer a loyal Harley-Davidson fan,
I’m appropriating a big red Indian Chief,*
My l’il Low Rider don’t befit a big ol’ American,
I’m no longer a loyal Harley-Davidson fan-
Found my big numb behind no longer can
Hardly sit on its seat without Prep H relief,
I’m no longer a loyal Harley-Davidson fan,
I’m appropriating a big red Indian Chief.

* Yes, that is the name of a model in the Indian lineup. Brav- bold choice.

—–

incomprehensible

by Ruth Klein

Speak now, or forever hold your peace
The preacher shouted at them
They said a triolet not a niece
Speak now, or forever hold your peace
iambi who? Does it cook in grease
amphibriaric drum the dumb drum
Speak now, or forever hold your peace
The preacher shouted at them

—–

Home of the Braves

by Greg Glazebrook

Aah wah aah wah wah a warriors hum,
Back and forth the tomahawk chop.
Warpaint, feather headdress, and drum,
Aah wah aah wah wah a warriors hum,
From what century did you come?
Ratta tat tat tat, make it stop!
Aah wah aah wah wah a warriors hum,
Back and forth the tomahawk chop.

—–

Thank you, terrible poets. back in May to see what the next prompt is!

M: Here’s your slightly-inaccurate badge you can post as proof of your poetic mastery:

©2023 The poets, and their respective poems.