The Terrible Poetry Contest 5/4/2023

Hello, there. Welcome to the Terrible Poetry Contest for May, 2023. This will be the last contest before the host (presumably) resumes operations in September.

Haven’t heard about our esteemed ‘competition’ before? Read this post. We’re out to make-fun, but also have fun!

M won March’s contest. Here are the parameters he named for this month:

  1. Theme and Form
    Rest easy, guys. We’re doing a limerick about Vermont Cheddar Cheese.
    We’ve done limericks before, many times. A description of the form can be found at this link.
  2. Length
    Unlike cheddar, a limerick doesn’t take long. It’s five lines in anapestic trimeter.
  3. Rhyme?
    Cheese with ease, and rhyme the lines of AABBA this time.
  4. Terrible?
    Aging is an art, one applied best to solid dairy products one spreads on crackers. Terrible poetry, not so much. Make yours as tasteless as you’d like.
  5. Rating
    M didn’t say one, but I’m guessing he’s fine with anything. Anything, you hear? It is a limerick, after all…

You have till 8:00 a.m. MST on Thursday, May 25 to submit a poem.

Use the form below if you want to be anonymous until I post the results. The form hasn’t saved what you submitted unless you see a message saying it has.

Or, for a cheesier experience, include your poem or a link to it in the comments. Please alert me if your pingback or poem does not show up within a day.

The winner gains bragging rights, a badge, and the pick of next contest’s theme and form.


Image by Blossom Blackwell from Pixabay. There’s probably Vermont Cheddar on that plate.

©2023 Chel Owens

59 thoughts on “The Terrible Poetry Contest 5/4/2023

  1. Shredding The Cheddar.
    I pondered on this tasteless topic blankly…
    Because Vermont Cheddar stinks, and rankly,
    There is the ripe question
    Of long lingering indigestion,
    I’d rather Brie or Philadelphia, frankly.

    Liked by 6 people

  2. Theme/Form picked because i had initially said something else but it got lost in an email bermuda triangle, and i am on vacation in Vermont famous for Cheddar/Maple Syrup. SO, MAKE IT OOZE WITH CHEESE AND BE FULL OF SASSY SWEETS YA’LL AND AS CHEL SAID I AM MORE THAN HAPPY WITH AS BAWDY NAUGHTY AS POSSIBLE excuse the loud type, wrote this at 3am

    Liked by 2 people

  3. There once was a cheesy old cheddar
    who never got under the weather. (pronounce this “wedder”)
    Vermont Cheddar’s the name
    of long-standing good fame
    since tomorrow it tastes even better. (pronounce this “bedder”)

    Liked by 5 people

  4. There once was a man from Farthenfetter
    Who loved him a Vermont extra sharp Cheddar
    With it he’d dine
    Munchiong crackers and wine
    To him, nothing was as good, uhm, I mean better

    Liked by 3 people

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