Loss of a Legend

Oh, my! I just learned that dear Hobbo passed away in August. For those who don’t know, he was a writer of some rather clever poems. I considered him as good as Ogden Nash or Shel Silverstein and thought to hear he’d been published. Instead, we learn he’s passed on.
His sons give an apt tribute, the way I’m sure he’d wish.

Goodbye, old friend.

For those curious, the following are just a few of his poems:

The Wordsmith
Twenty six letters
Are all that it takes
For the thousands and thousands
Of words that she makes.

She picks one or two
A dozen or so,
The nub of a poem
And she’s raring to go.

That’s not quite right,
Finds a good synonym,
This is not what I meant,
Opposite, antonym.

Not to forget
The syllable count,
Add one in there,
Take this one out.

Get all that right
And the rhythm is wrong,
Sort it out and it’s
Finished, mais non.

Before any of these
So called, latter stages,
She first needs a subject
To grace those blank pages.

The fraudulent chef
My, have you seen
how thin that chef looks?
I’ve a feeling he’s been
cooking his books!

Pronunciation denunciation
You’ll become a pariah
if you call it Yorkshire
and people will sneer
if you dare say Yorkshire
but the girl from Minorca
pronouncing it Yorkshire,
I will cover in kisses
and take for my Mrs.

Man on a bus
A pear-shaped man
in his pear-shaped clothes,
stuck his pear-shaped thumb
up his pear-shaped nose.
Put two pair-shaped bogeys
stuck to pear-shaped hair
in his pear-shaped mouth
where he ate the pair.

All poems copyright ©Hobbo

How To Create a Successful Blog, and How To Get a Lot of Followers

First, you gotta write some blog posts. On a blog. Here are your rules to follow:

  1. Be hot. Seriously.
  2. Have a site that’s EASY TO READ.
  3. Keep it short. Keep it simple. Use easy words in easy formats.
  4. Be entertaining. You know, like with jokes or sarcasm. Or, just throw in cat gifs.
  5. Include pictures. Or cat gifs.
  6. Write with a good mix of informative and anecdotal. <—That, right there, was not easy words.
  7. Publish something every day. Cat gifs count.

Then, you gotta fish for followers:

  1. Be hot.
  2. Find new bloggers and Like, Comment, and Follow. Reading is optional.
  3. Search for similar blogs and Like, Comment, and Follow.
  4. Reply to every.single.comment on your posts.
  5. Enter contests; answer writing prompts.
  6. Respond to other entrants in those contests and prompts. Not sure what to say? -Pretty sure you can leave them cats.

As a Bonus: don’t fall for The Big Ones as a newbie. I’m talking Christian Mihai-types. But, those are a great place to pick up new suckers bloggers those guys have tricked into following them…

©2022 Chel Owens

I was going to do a ‘last week I posted this’ breakdown, but the most important thing is the Terrible Poetry Contest. Deadline’s tomorrow, so randomly generate some text and format it poetically.

A Child’s Breath

We’re only here for a breath.

Some breathe longer than others, of course; like octogenarians shuffling to hit a hundred years.

Others, very little. They gasp -we gasp- and our only son is gone. Our only daughter is still. Our only grandchild grows forever cold.

What do we do when our child is gone? -When we’ll hold them and no longer feel the rising-falling-softness of life against our neck?

What can we do -those of us still breathing?

©2022 Chel Owens

Dedicated to my good friend who just lost her ‘baby,’ her sixteen-year-old son, unexpectedly. I don’t know what happened but my heart aches for her loss.

I’m a Mormon, So…

I’m a Mormon, so I am a missionary.

I’ve promised to share my testimony and the teachings of the LDS Church to the peoples of this world*.

If I were to couch in definite terms two of the most potent convictions in the hearts of the Latter-day Saints, I would name: First, an abiding assurance that the gospel, as taught by the Redeemer when he lived among men and which was later modified, changed and corrupted by men, has been restored by the Redeemer in its purity and fulness; and second, following naturally the first, a conviction in the heart of every member of this Church that the responsibility rests upon the membership of the Church to preach the restored gospel to every nation, kindred, tongue and people.

David O. McKay, In Conference Report, Apr. 1927, 102

This is different than what most think of with the phrase ‘Mormon missionary.’ In terms of an official calling to serve, there are four specific opportunities:

First is the classic missionary who knocks on doors and hands out copies of The Book of Mormon. Single, unmarried young men or single, unmarried young women may devote a specific period of their young lives to serving and teaching. For young men, they may apply for a mission at age 18 and serve for two years; for young women, they may apply for a mission at age 19 and serve for 18 months. This is different than the standard was for years, when men were 19 and women 21.

Serving a mission in that fashion is a commitment to the work -where the young people are called to a specific area; live and work with a companion of the same sex at all times; and follow rules and regimens regarding dress, behavior, daily schedule, service, contact with family back home (though this has also improved), and what sort of media they view or listen to.

Second, a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints may be called as a mission president while he is married with a family at home. His entire family travels to the mission site with him and supports him and lives their regular lives for the duration of the three-year calling.

Mission presidents share a variety of responsibilities in their service. They are directed to first maintain their own well-being and that of their families. They instruct missionaries to effectively teach gospel principles as well as to maintain their individual health. In addition, the president assumes responsibility for the baptism of new converts and their initial development as new members of the Church.

LDS Newsroom, “Mission President

Third is older adults who wish to apply for and be called to a senior mission:

You may be recommended to serve as a missionary beginning at the age of 40 if you have no dependent children under the age of 18 living in your home. There is not an upper age limit for senior missionary service as long as you are physically able to meet the needs of the assignment.

Senior Missionary Service

Senior missionaries are usually a retired couple, and they can do the same sort of tasks as the young ones everyone is familiar with. Usually, however, they keep to less strenuous tasks like office work, visits, and training.

Fourth is serving in the Tabernacle Choir at Temple Square (formerly known as the Mormon Tabernacle Choir), or in places like the LDS Church museums. Also, within this and the other three categories, an interested person may be called to a service mission.

Missionaries in all these shapes and sizes and ages do not get paid for their service. Certain expenses are covered by mission funds; like subsidization so all missions for young adults cost a uniform amount, housing for the mission president, clothing for the choir members, etc.

©2022 Chel Owens

*Although I’ve promised to be a missionary, this doesn’t mean I’m attempting to convert any readers. My sole purpose in writing about the LDS Church is to inform, clarify confusion, and answer questions.

……

We Mormons are officially members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and are to drop any name but that. Since many recognize the nickname of ‘Mormon’ and it works with the alliteration so well, however, I will use the term.

My other note is that I will keep to official doctrinal practices. I will add my own application of them, especially in response to comments.

My final note is that I LOVE discussing anything I write. Don’t be rude, obviously, but any and all queries or responses are welcome.

My final note beyond the final note is that I do not seek to convert anyone. I am motivated by forming connections, answering curiosity, and straightening pictures. So, you’re safe.

Accidental -or maybe- Unrequited ‘Love’

My love, I saw you just
the other day.
I thought, “I must
see if she wants to play.”

But then, without a doubt
or e’en acknowledgement,
You ran around you ran about
you ran through excrement.

I know you weren’t
expecting me to be outside
your house, you weren’t
expecting me to be outside.

But, baby, you should know
That when you hand me
my steaming cup of joe
and smile, instead of run-ning,

Our love was meant to be.
So, tell this nice policeman
That you aren’t charging me
and that I get to be your man.

Please?

©2022 Chel Owens

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

If that isn’t terrible, you need your ears checked. Also, you need to type up the warning label on the side of your shampoo, add far more adjectives, and turn it in to the Terrible Poetry Contest for this month. You have till this Thursday to enter!

Blogging Friends, In Real Life

Ever since I realized people existed behind these things called ‘blogs,’ I’ve dreamt of meeting one.

I mean, why limit exchanges to pun-filled banter, terrible poetry, or sharing story prompts? Why not, say, share lunch?

Yesterday, I finally had that privilege.

While on a whirlwind family vacation to Oregon, I thought, Hey; I know someone who lives in Oregon. Maybe -just maaaybe- she’d be willing to meet.

I’m talking about the intelligent, effervescent, engaging, classy, kind, accommodating D. Wallace Peach.

©D. Wallace Peach

(I’m also honorably-mentioning my favorite aunt and uncle, a former neighbor, and an online friend of Kevin’s. All were treated to a ‘could we stop by?’ out of the blue. Sorry, guys.)

We barely made it work. When we came down to ‘we ought to just bag it and try for next time,’ I recalled the lessons I’ve learned from COVID-19’s quarantines and infections. Sometimes, there may not be a ‘next time.’

Thank you, Diana, for helping me seize the day. Thank you for not running in panic from my persistent attempts to connect.

I figured she must be old hat at this lunch-with-a-fan thing.

Ironically, I learned I was her first blogger meet-up as well.

©Chel Owens. Oregon is SO GREEN.

Now that we’ve broken the ice, we want to know: who else? The UK group hosted an annual Blogger’s Bash; why can’t we? Diana says Colorado is lovely… What say you?

—–

Week in review:
Wednesday, September 14: “The Meaning of Life. I Think.

Thursday, September 15: “Three, Two, One: Bumper Balloons,” in response to Carrot Ranch‘s prompt: balloons on a bumper.

Friday, September 16: Friday Photo.

Sunday, September 18: Internet Quote.

Thursday, September 22: Today.

©2022 Chel Owens