Another Update -Woohoo

Look at that: only two days in, and I’m already boring you. But, wait -it’s important.

  • I will be adding book reviews to the blog. I definitely want to read and review ones by people I know, so drop me a line if you’d like me to read, review, and interview.
  • I will be starting the new and improved terrible poetry contest tomorrow Saturday!!! Problem is, I can’t think of a catchy-enough name. “Funny Poetry” and “Humorous Poetry” strike me as too ho-hum for an event that will be anything but! Drop me another line with a name idea for our new contest.
  • I will be answering people’s prompts and doing a few of my own. I can’t participate every week/day/hour, but can pop in once a month or so. Drop me a third line with whatever prompt you do and when.
  • I will now be leaving to pick up children from school. Drop me a line about how your Coronalife is going.
Photo by Ekrulila on Pexels.com

©2020 Chel Owens

One of Those Boring Blog Update Things

Hey, everyone!

I’ve been having a great holiday, only worrying about considering the possibility of thinking I ought to plan on pondering the idea of envisioning a speculative schedule involving writing on the blog(s).

I promised this was a boring update, so here are the specifics:

  1. WordPress’ editor still sucks.
  2. I sold my arm and part of a leg for a new cell phone and can therefore read (and comment on!) people’s posts again. The new phone ought to streamline that process going forward, instead of gunking it up to a hopeless quagmire like it did in the past.
  3. I’m changing the Weekly Hilarity Contest to poetry again, but intend to definitely bend toward humor and not to the sarcasm and ridicule of terrible poeming.
  4. My #1 priority will be me and my family. Number two will, invariably, be dishes and laundry -okay, really, ’twill be catching blog posts written by my favorite people (you!). After those, I will post some of my own works (see #5, just below).
  5. My blogging schedule will be liposuctioned to something manageable and …less personal. Maybe.
  6. I will write and publish a book. I will write under a modified name, since I’ve never liked my obviously-born-in-a-certain-decade-or-near-there identifier.
  7. If there is any time left after that, I’ll sleep well, eat right, and exercise. I will also cure pandemics.

woman wearing blue shawl lapel suit jacket

I will totally look like this person, all year. (Photo by Moose Photos on Pexels.com)

-Chel Owens (©2020)

So Long, and Thanks for All the Friendship

Thus begins my summer sabbatical. Ironically, ’tis also my third Blogiversary.

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I’m visiting a few blogging friends before the tech-free boat departs, then I’m sailing away till September. I’m very excited. I have my notebook, my unruly crew of five boys, and some reading to keep me company.

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See ya soon!

 

©2020 Chelsea Owens

Blue

What will he do
The man dressed in blue
When everyone’s angry
So angry at blue

What will he do
The man dressed in blue
When his child needs him
Needs him in blue

What will we do
Without men in blue
When no one will answer
And no one wear blue

 

©2020 Chelsea Owens

Going Postal: The Writing Process and How It Messed Itself Up

Back when the world shut down in an effort to curb the spread of a certain virus, I found my creativity stunted. I felt afraid, defensive, worried, uncertain.

Like many others in the blogosphere, I did not feel like writing.

The idea for expressing some of my anxieties through a serial story came a few weeks later, as I (once again) chased down the funny, reserved, down-to-earth, white-haired and blue-eyed man who delivered the mail to our area. My mail man is not named Ron, but his appearance and manners are based on the one I know and have known for a few years.

Originally, my story idea revolved around the mail carrier knowing what everyone had shipped to his house and …going postal on everyone and stealing their stuff. Somewhere around the second or third installment, I wrote each segment from that new character’s perspective. At another point I don’t remember, I decided the different stories would follow a triangle pattern: the last would be from the same perspective and in the same location as the first, the second would match the second-to-last, etc.

Two problems arose: One, I didn’t know where to …end; where to arc and come back down. Two, everyone (including me) got attached to Ron.

How could I make Ron go ‘breaking bad?’

First, I thought to make him accidentally infect everyone. He did, in fact, do that. He coughed all over the postal sorting room, after all. Then, in walked Marty. Personally, I like Marty. I also do not like Marty. He’s a scumbag. Thanks to Marty and a later idea that Carol wouldn’t make it, we had our key to breaking Ron.

Thanks to recent developments in America, I had more danger to add…

So, Going Postal is the story of a happy, friendly mailman who was eventually convinced to aid Marty in his exploits -or, it’s possible that Marty knocked him off and is using Ron’s pickup truck and route to rob and plunder in The End of Times. You get to decide.

A final Easter Egg: I decided to never name Coronavirus in the stories.

Going Postal, I
Going Postal, II
Going Postal, III
Going Postal, IV
Going Postal, V
Going Postal, VI
Going Postal, VII
Going Postal, VIII
Going Postal, IX
Going Postal, X
Going Postal, XI
Going Postal, XII
Going Postal, XIII
Going Postal, XIV

 

©2020 Chelsea Owens

P.S. In real-life drama, my favorite mailman was recently let go. I’m hoping to call someone who knows something and tell him a final, “Thanks.”

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Boring News Stuff Regarding This Olde Blog

Last year, my life situation looked a little different. Well, because of COVID-19, it coincidentally looked much the same. I’d not been feeling well last Aprilish. After suddenly craving a specific Mexican food item on a Sunday evening, I thought, Oh no; it can’t be THAT. Several insistent phone calls the next day led to a positive pregnancy test reading and ultrasound.

…and to a subsequent order of bedrest once an intrauterine blood clot kept whining.

All last summer; I balanced being pregnant, running two blogs, occasionally writing for another, reading others’ posts, and trying to keep my living dependents -well- alive. It. was. awful.

“Next summer,” I vowed from the bathroom floor, “I’m taking a break like _[insert several bloggers’ names here]_!”

Long story long, that’s what I’m gonna do. Take a break, I mean.

I’ll finish up “Going Postal” and a few writing prompts and awards I promised I would respond to. Then, I’m unplugging for a while. I need the free babysitting of public school and the better-sleeping of an older baby to add ‘blogging’ to the top of my tippy pile of demands.

After a week or two, I’ll not see you again till September. Thanks for the understanding and support, and best of luck with your own summers/winters.

woman in red and white floral dress wearing brown sun hat

I have never looked like this in my life, but you can picture my being like this if it makes you feel better.

 

©2020 Chelsea Owens

Photo Credit: Photo by Antonio Conte on Pexels.com

I’m not what people think. I’m not good or positive or responsible or noble. I’m not happy. I am not just a –anything –THAT is the only fire that kindles my passion.

Every day, I walk the world in intentional numbness. I fog emotion so as to dampen disappointment. I blur reality to handle it. I am not alive. I am not real. My optimism persists in the hope of a future change or an alternate reality.

In a someday.

Yet every day I grow older and fatter and less cognizant. The world of my imagination will never be.

The world is only taxes and dishes and children. The world is not mine to seize anymore; it’s those children’s. I’ve waited too long for me.

All that’s me is a memory, and a mom in a minivan.

Goodbye.

(I’m unplugging for a bit. I’ll post the poetry stuff, for sure; not certain what else, besides.)

1,000 Posts

Technically, this announcement is #1,001, but… I MADE IT TO 1,000 posts! Yay! Happy 1,000th Post Day, Blog!

1000 Posts

First Post: “The Post You May Never Read,” on June 25, 2017.

Most Commented-On Post: “Really Big News of a Non-Writing Kind” -not surprising as it was my pregnancy announcement!

Post With the Most Views: My About Me page, which proves you’re all a bunch of stalkers.

Day With the Most Site Hits: December 20, 2018, when many fine writers contributed parodies of favorite Christmas songs for our fifth Terrible Poetry Contest, then I apologized for announcing winners early.

Followers: 936 (Wouldn’t that have been cool to also be at 1,000?)

Blogs I Follow: 290

~~~~~

Thanks, everyone, for the support! Here’s to 1,000 more!

Something in the Mail…

I came back from vacation to a little surprise waiting in our mailbox….

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Hmmm… Air Mail addressed to me, in a padded envelope…

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It claims to be a book! I think I know what ‘book’ this is!!!

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And I know some of those “fellow bloggers!”

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Not sure about that signature, though. Hopefully it’s legit.

Stay tuned for a book review, all ye others who are also expectantly excited. I will finish tonight.

THE KIRKWOOD SCOTT CHRONICLES: Skelly’s Square by [Black, Stephen ](Dude; you could be reading, too! Click here for the Amazon link.)