Rebooted TV Series are just like cheating husbands: a TV Review – Dexter: Next Blood (2021) – Season 1, Episode 1 — Bookshelf Battle

I’ve been a fan of Bookshelf Battler’s reviews for years. He’s hilarious and often says exactly why I didn’t like a film or show but couldn’t figure out why…

He’s baaaack. BQB here with a review of the sequel series about America’s favorite serial killer with a code. I’ve often said being a fan of a cable TV show is a lot like being the long suffering wife of a husband going through a bad mid-life crisis. There we stand at the doorway in […]

TV Review – Dexter: Next Blood (2021) – Season 1, Episode 1 — Bookshelf Battle

Chelsea, Thy Name is …Aimee?

I’m in a mental crisis. For years, I knew my parents planned to name me something different than the one they switched to. They’d told me. But only yesterday did I learn that they’d intended to also NOT. USE. ITS. PROPER. SPELLING.

*Deep breaths* *Deeeep breaths*

See, a little-known fact about me is that I’m bothered by grammar and spelling errors. I certainly won’t return your birthday present over it, but I can’t help but notice. I can’t help but correct the problem.

A little-known fact about Utah Mormons* is that they are guilty of unique name spellings -including Jaxcon, Danieell, and Stephenie. Yes, these are names I’ve literally seen applied to people. I hate it.

So, naturally, upon learning that I might have not just been an Amy but might have been an Aimee, I’ve been reflecting on how my whole life would be different:

  1. I would be blonde. If not, I’m sure I’d have curls and blue eyes. At the least, I’d be cuter.
  2. If something were funny, I’d legitimately giggle.
  3. My pants size would be …well, at this point, about where it’s at. I would’ve had kids as an (*shudder*) Aimee, too.
  4. My husband would be named Michael.
  5. I’d be interested in “The Bachelor.” Heck; I’d know who The Sexiest Man Alive was instead of needing to Google it every time. Not only that, but I would actually know who he is and would likely fantasize about his running away with me on the back of …an oversized ant.
  6. I would get weekly mani-pedi‘s instead of one in my entire life.
  7. My favorite book would be the latest Eat, Pray, Love sort.
  8. I’d be a frequent shopper at that place that sells scented stuff.
  9. My children would also have unique names. I’m thinking Cashe or Leeder.
  10. Most of all, I would NOT vomit a little in my mouth every time someone spelled my name aloud.

And don’t say I’m overreacting. That would be a Karen thing to do, not an Aimee.

©2021 Chel Owens

*Mormons are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Autumnal Acrostic

©2021 Chel Owens

Footsteps, shushed
Amidst Nature’s
Leavings –
Leafings.

or

An expensive carpet, this
Underlayment of leaves
Taken and spread
Underneath these bare trees.
Mind you don’t tread as a somber old man;
Neither should you tiptoe -run, kick, and dance.

——–

©2021 Chel Owens

Acrostic isn’t my favorite ‘form’ for poetry, but can function as a framework for trying to shape a poem. Try it out; especially consider trying it out for my latest Anyone Can Poem challenge at Carrot Ranch!

My Top Six Blogging Pet Peeves

  1. WordPress.
    In fact, IF I could get stupid WordPress to make lists easier to manipulate, this would be numbers 1-3! Unfortunately, even attempts at “<ol>” and “<li>” in the actual code do nothing -but lists are the least of WordPress‘ failings…
  2. Blogging thieves.
    Sites with no original content that re-post my work make me feel like locking up or even leaving.
  3. Monetary writers.
    Some are better than others, but most eventually need the door closed on their salesmanship.
  4. “Thank you for visiting.”
    Wellll, I’ve been following and commenting on your site off and on for three years, but, “You’re welcome.”
  5. Comment etiquette.
    It’s vital to respond to people who’ve taken time to log into WordPress fifteen times in order to leave you a smiley face; but, some days I just don’t know whether a thumbs-up (👍🏻) or a smiley return (🙂) is appropriate…
  6. Overall feelings of repression of opinion on the internet as a whole.

Did I miss anything? Let’s go light a simulacrum of WP on fire and pass the day with one fewer care in the world.

Photo thanks to Christopher Burns (no joke) on Unsplash. I may have added the letters.

©2021 Chel Owens

The Valley of Spirit

They’d warned her about Old Adavndo Valley. Locals, etched in lines of wisdom’s dust, shook their heads slowly. Raised a hand. Or a crooked finger.

“Don’t,” they said, “Disturb the dead.”

She brushed them off. Turned away.

“An’ don’,” they added, “Film nothin’ ’bout yourself…”

But she was Alda Evenfeld, two-times winner of the Fergus Film Festival. No age-worn, brain-worn superstitions stood against book-worn, theatre-worn critics.

Still, fans later reflected, what a tragic coincidence. Late opening night; neighbors, drawn in moonlight, found the shell of Ms. Evenfeld. Exactly as her film’s protagonist lay. With the same scare-worn, dusty face.

Photo by Ganapathy Kumar on Unsplash

©2021 Chel Owens

Written for Carrot Ranch’s prompt this week:

November 4, 2021, prompt: In 99 words (no more, no less), write a story about a film festival. It can be a small-town indie fest or the Festival de Cannes or anything in between. Who is in the story? An audience-goer, filmmaker, actress, or something unexpected? Through in some popcorn for fun. Go where the prompt leads!

Respond by November 9, 2021. Use the comment section [on the site] to share, read, and be social. You may leave a link, pingback, or story in the comments. If you want to be published in the weekly collection, please use the form.  Rules & Guidelines.

Business or Pleasure?

I am a Business Showerer.

The instant I’ve guaranteed ten full minutes of distraction for my cute, little distractions; I’m in flight-control checklist mode:

✔Shower curtain, in position
✔Nozzle, adjusted
✔Hot water, started
✔Shampoo, secured
✔Bar soap, on rack
✔Razor, located
✔Towel, ready for reentry
✔Water temperature, adjusted
✔Hair, secured with safety loop

And … go, go, go!

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

My husband is a Pleasure Showerer.

The hour or so after he’s leisurely caught up on cell phone heralds from his porcelain throne; he’s in contemplative mode:

Tap water released
Phone, atop muddled towels
Awaits naked return

Meanwhile, I take bets on whether the hot water will run out before he does.

Photo by Tristan Malpelli on Pexels.com

A Freudian voyeur can analyze our freshly-scrubbed psyches by studying our bars of soap: mine is always a flat, overworked strip; his, a perfectly-caressed quenelle.

©2021 Chel Owens

The Things I Miss–, by Heather Dawn

As usual, the very intelligent and good person, Heather Dawn, captures the thoughts and feelings I just can’t…

I don’t write a lot these days, because I feel like my heart is grieving. It’s hard to share grief sometimes. I’m letting go of more and more things that I love, and today, I’m deeply missing these things: I miss writing on my blog. The past few months have been a whirlwind of babysitting, […]

The Things I Miss —