Just in time for Halloween, this week’s challenge was to write the wittiest message inside your next anniversary card. So, who wrote the wittiest?
Unaltered By Time, by Michael B. Fishman
148,920 hours since we said, “I do”,
and honey, baby, I still love you.
You always fight fair, you sometimes let me win.
And who really cares if you’re no longer thin?
You’re the mother of my children and one day you’ll agree,
that it’s probably a good thing that the kids look like me.
You’re the one and only entry in my little black book,
and it’s never been a problem that you really can’t cook.
Your eyes are as bright as that very first day,
and it doesn’t bother me that your hair is all gray.
All these years later, and I happy I met ‘ya?
Every minute, every day, oh sweetheart, you betcha.
Congratulations, Fishman, on a-musing me! You won for the clever, terrible, almost-sweet mentions to your sweetheart.
Others went a similar direction. Others, still, went farther for a good laugh. Read and enjoy:
Untitled, by Trent McDonald
(Only 4 days late)
Did I tell you today
That you look great!?
And can you believe
It’s been 10 years?
So full of smiles
(And full of tears…)
I remember that day
Oh so very well
(A party the night before,
I still felt like Hell.)
But you were beautiful
In your gown and vail
But my hung-over mind
Was only thinking of some tai..(BLEEP! – sorry, keeping it PG 😉 )
But overall it was
A day from Heaven
Even if the rings were forgotten
By my best man, Kevin
And since that best of days
When you were made my wife
I’ve counted my blessings
So thankful that you are in my life!
(Did I make it up to you
With my poetry?
Will you please unlock the door
And perhaps forgive me?)
Untitled, by Jon
Dear, Oh dear,
Let me be clear:
I want to share,
as many as you dare!
An Anniversary Messsage, by H.R.R. Gorman
They say marriage is about sparks,
About that someone who in the dark
Sets your mind and loins aflame.
But isn’t that meager? Lame?
I’ve learned in this blissful year
That’s it’s more like cracking a beer
Open and accepting farts
Are made by those with good hearts.
So while I take a hot shower,
You grunt on the throne with power.
It’s the sign of your loving care
That you keep pooping and don’t stare.
Untitled, by Hobbo
Married now for fifty year
And I still think you’re hot
So, love is in the air, my dear
When you say,”Yes. Why not?”
Aunty Jess, by Mister Bump
To write this prompt, it wasn’t hard,
I hardly ever send a card.
My family is very scant,
Except down under, have an aunt.
Another aunt in Lancashire,
She’s eighty now, delightful dear,
Her birthday now is round about,
I’d better pull my finger out!
The card’s awaiting me to send,
My missus made it last weekend,
Better than I could have bought,
But to the message, gave no thought.
No flow’ry message was supplied,
Just “Happy Birthday” stamped inside,
As long as there’s no writer’s cramp,
All I’m waiting for’s a stamp.
Must keep my cool, not overkeen,
Her birthday’s not ’til Hallowe’en,
By then must break out from my bubble,
If card is late, I’ll be in trouble!
Untitled, by Deb Whittam
Roses are red
Violets are blue
We’ve grown old together
What are we going to do?
Hard of hearing,
You snore, I fart,
Thirty years together
It’s way too late to part
Untitled, by Gary
So sorry this card is late
So sorry I’m a bit overweight
I thought we had an anniversary last year
Do we really get them every year, my dear
Just 122 words is perfect for a food shopping list
Or divorce papers which I have chosen to miss
I’ve really got no idea why you put up with me
Especially as I’ve just spilled coffee over your settee
Untitled, by Ruth Scribbles
Thirty years ago
We tied the knot
You promised peaches
That’s all I got
Always on the cards, by Over Soil
Last second writing “All my love” so cursory,
Time and again made us forget each anniversary,
For us, protecting trees was always on the cards,
So what better than a trip to a nearby plant nursery.
Untitled, by Ellen Best
I love your beard … when its not there.
And the shine … that’s not hair.
The way that you snore sounded sweet
Well until, the first time it woke me from sleep.
I love the ring in your nose
The way you bite at your toes
Because you can’t be arsed,
to get the clippers off the shelf.
I like all the things that you do,
But you never bag the dogs poo.
Now that might make me mad,
just a bit.
I am glad we got wed,
Though you spent a week in bed
Because of jet lag
As I recall you to say.
Romance is not dead
We’ll have adventures you said,
So we married on a beach in the bay
Even the bomb squad didn’t ruin our day.
Thanks for playing!! Return tomorrow for next week’s prompt.
Michael Fishman, here’s a badge for you to use on your site. Congratulations!
©2020 The poets, and their respective works