Lost Receipt

Oh no, he thought.

Those jalapeños. Why had he eaten those jalapeños? Why had he eaten all those jalapeños in the jar?

Oooh, no, he thought.

That girl. Why had he talked to that girl? Why had he talked to that hot girl in front of Gary, who then convinced him that consuming a jar of peppers would impress her?

Oh! no! he thought. Oh, no no no!

This lane. Why had he moved into this lane of traffic? Why had he moved into this far lane of traffic when he clearly needed access to the nearest public toilet?

Oh no no no no no no no! was all he could think-

-as he forced his way through blowing horns and into the nearest Tesco lot. He vacated his car, located the public facilities, and placated his internal turmoil.

Oh no, he realized, upon exiting the toilet.

Breakfast. Why hadn’t he eaten breakfast? Why hadn’t he eaten a healthy breakfast when he’d clearly dined poorly the night before?

A few minutes later, an innocent shopper found his discarded receipt. “Müller rice and a loose banana, eh? Hmmm….”

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There ya go, Stephen. Can’t say I never did nothin’ for nobody…